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| I ACTUALLY POSTED A POST UP HERE BESIDES SONGS AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST.. Kinda Glad.. I know i am going to be kinda confuzing in what i wrote here, and not only that, but hypothetical - and elaborate. But since i aint truly said anything in a long time like this, I am going to..
"Stupid Kid"
By: Alkaline Trio
There are things that used to make me smile
One of them was you for just a little while
You left me for dead so far away
I replaced you with fear and shame
You'll be happy on the day I die
There are things that used to make me laugh
But now they're deeply buried in the past
I left them there so far away
Replaced my humor with my pain
I'll be happy on the day it dies
Remember when I said I love you
Well, forget it I take it back
I was just a stupid kid back then
I take back every word that I said
There are things that used to make you cry
One of them was me for just a little while
Why is it that you had to say
Goodbye in your special way
You slashed the tires on my car
Remember when I said I love you
Well, forget it I take it back
I was just a stupid kid back then
I take back every word that I said
Remember when I said I love you
Well, go ahead I take it back
I was just a stupid kid back then
I take back every word that I said
-----------------
Damn I wish I could go to my prom.
Never had a drink that I didn't like
Got a taste of you, threw up all night
I got more sick
With every sour second rate kiss
Everything I never would miss again
------
(After Josh Tells story about his first time, and other escapades.)
Josh: So, where was your first?
JJ: I'll tell you any other time because your a close friend, but that i save for myself..
Sarah Wynn
Remember when we were young?
We'd smoke cigarettes behind the store.
Pimpin' beers for fun.
Back then I loved you.
Making you almost cry under Louisiana sky.
Never thought you'd fly.
We all miss you.
What the hell were you thinking?
I can't help you know, Sarah.
Why the hell were you shooting up?
Now you're coming down, Sarah.
I know it's been some time
But now you're back I'll try to help.
It seems I wasted time, cause only you can help yourself.
A calm and collected mind.
I talked to your parents yesterday.
It seems they're doing fine.
They're worried about you.
What the hell were you thinking?
I can't help you know, Sarah.
Why the hell were you shooting up?
Now you're coming down, Sarah.
Habits are hard to break.
I don't know how much I can take from you.
I guess that I'll never relate.
I really don't know what to make of you.
We're worried about you.
What the hell were you thinking?
I can't help you know, Sarah.
Why the hell were you shooting up?
Now you're coming down, Sarah.
What the hell were you thinking?
I can't help you know, Sarah.
Why the hell were you shooting up?
Now you're coming down, Sarah.
--Alien Ant Farm
----
(sitting at the Oasis)
Josh: I can list something shady about every one of us.
Adam: Oh yEAH?
Josh: Store Credits, sound familiar!!!!
Sean: I never did anything to you or something shady.
Josh: I can list a bunch for you.
JJ: Oh, What about me josh?
Josh: (thinks) Nothing to me, and I can't think of a way you would be towards someone else.. So I guess your fine, For now..
Shit I HATE SUNDAYS, but not tonight/today. Today was fucking great. Hit up WysKonSyn, Lake Bluff, Got pulled over because my lights were too bright for the 80 year old cop. Seriously, I got pulled over because he said my lights were to bright, and no i didnt have my brights on. The cop knew he had shit on us after i told him those are my lights, so that was it. ANd my mom forgot the insurance card once again in the car, BUT we won't tell the police that.. heh.
Ahhhh, Got some interesting gifts for loeff's comeback to best buy. S'good to have a real good friend there after you lost one that was very precious. No insult to other people that work there currently, people like lee, david, sean, abey (just to name a few).. I've been myself, i've been really, really happy as of late - but everytime i walk into those doors - something is missing.. And my friends currently at best buy - They've been great, but don't quite compare to losing a perfect friend, but loeff [i can finally see your ass more now] is back and no one can make me as happy as that kid. The Village said it best, "it is never right to sacrifice one love for another." And losing a precious friend, and getting a precious friend coming back to best buy isn't an even trade. I'm not winning, nor losing in this trade - the only way i truly win is if i could have both because they are both perfect to me. Shit is too weird now, but I know everything will work out in the end. I won't ever stop dreaming that i could have it my way[ as if i had a choice, but these dreams will never fade]. Because you both were perfect in every way, every day. Along with
Myke
Adam
Josh
and John
Love ya' Kids.
Do anything for anyone of you, 'cept loan ya' money.. cuz i cant do that right now.. heh.. I know i am usually the kid who shows up late, but if you needed me there - i'd be the first and last one to go for anyone of 'ya.. all 6 of you - even if its at the same time.. i'd manage to make that work, somehow..
Well lataz!!!
[ i dont feel stupid for anything i said, for once, 'cept I probably sounded retarded ]
 | | |
| When i got tired of running from you
I stopped right there to catch my breath
there your words they caught my ears
you said, "i miss you so, Come home."
And my sins, they watched me leave
and in my heart i so believed
The love you felt for me was mine
the love i'd wished for all this time
and when the doors were closed
I heard no i told you so's
I said the words i knew you knew
Oh god, Oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you,
I needed you..
"Fuck me now,
Rip me off later.." | | |
| I will love you as you are
I didn't mean to make you want to leave
[i don't want to win this time]
im trying to let you know
just how much you can possibly mean to me.
----
and off to live journal | | |
| Happy St. Patricks Day and All
Hope everyone made it home alright..
But seriously, NICKLE CITY.. yes, yes.. heh
Love 'ya all..
[ i know, i know, a bit random ]
J.J. | | |
| - Tiger Lily - ...
I really don't know what to say..
----------------
I hope your happy, i really do
As much as i know i shouldn't say it
but i really do
I hope your happy, and happiness always finds you
Where ever you are,
your star still shining the brightest
And i wish i had something
In depth to say,
something to show you how much one could possibly miss you,
but my words here, are ever-so boring
for nothing comes into the viscinity of you
So i can't try anymore
I can't try to find those words that aren't there
and never were..
you were much better than that..
As much as i shouldn't say any of this
I am going to..
Because i miss you,
Because I adore you..
"And if this is what it takes
To lie in my mistakes
and live with what i did to you"
Then i'll sit here, and stare at my wall
and try everyday to remember you..
I know that each day is more painful without you
and i know soon each day i will miss you less
As time goes on.
But thats what i fear the most,
I've waited to feel this hurt..
this pain, because now i know how much it
was all worth it and it really was
How much i felt, how much i still feel
and my heart still beats..
But i dont fear that day the most, because
i am afraid of pain or not feeling it at all..
I know pain, wish that this were the only pain
that i am experiencing right now,
but it isn't.. But it is the most painful
But when that day comes that i miss you less
or the day that comes that i hurt less
I mourn this day for none of the above reasons..
I'll hate this day, because I'd much rather
hurt forever, and remember you..
Than to be happy, and forget you..
Its about the sacrifices and compromises
and all the things we've managed to do for one another
you didn't account for a little bit on why i smiled..
You were the reason..
and Like i said i shouldn't say this at all,
any of it.. this much i know
But that is what i wanted to tell you, then
I didn't intend for this to happen,
The way that it did..
But now that i have told you,
What i needed to, what i wanted to
that day, that didn't happen..
Sure there was more to say, but this was the swing of it..
So now that you hopefully read what i said..
You can go on, and continue ignoring me
And i'll somehow wish that this is the best,
and hope that this is the way that makes you most happiest.
I hope your happy, wherever you are, shining a far
[thank you, for making me the person that i wanted to be]
[thank you, to the heavens or whoever or whatever i need to thank for letting me know you]
I'm feeling better already..
---
Thank you for anybody who has been there for me as of lately..
I wish i could name the names right here, but the list is pretty long for all the support i have been given..
-----
Goodnight.. | | |
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