Im sorry I havent updated. Ive been incredibly busy.

I think Im retiring from Xanga.... I dont see the point in it anymore.

If you want to see pictures of my apartment, go to my Facebook and view its own album.

Thanks to those that have made Xanga fun. Peace out....

Who knows? I might decide to start up Xanga again when I need something to vent to.

Ill still read all of your Xanga entries. No worries.

XOXO - Marissa

So.. I move to Texas in approximately 5 days!!!!!

It is crazy how fast it has come. I havent gotten too sad yet, but I know it's coming. There are only a few people that I know will continue to keep in close touch with me. It's crazy how something like this really makes you find your true friends. It can be sad, but yet, it makes you truly appreciate those who care for you and those you care for just as much right back. I cant wait to begin this next chapter in my life. I am in the mix of a billion different emotions that it is really hard to concentrate on anything. I am nervous for the future, yet I am so anxious and excited. Im so sad to leave my loved ones, especially my mom. She has been the most stable, amazing, beautiful person towards me and does things even I cant even imagine for me. I hope that one day, when I become a mother, I am half the woman she is. She is strong, centered, independent, and wise. I hope she passed those genes on to me. I know that even though I will be two states away, she is just a phone call from my side. I love you, Mom!

Some things have happened in the past few days that have caused much pain. My father just received his end of the divorce papers. You see, his lawyer is an idiot, and didnt send my father the divorce papers until just now. They have been officially divorced since May 1. My father reads and hears what he wants to hear: the worst. And because my father cant seem to read past the legal jargon, he reacts on impulse on what he thinks he read or hears. The fact that my father still feels the need to drag me into the middle of this divorce and gets me directly involved kills me. I dont see what he doesnt understand about "I dont care about anything about your divorce with my mom besides the part that deals with me. If it deals with the infidelity or scandalous crap that went on within the marriage... leave me out of it." I don't think it is that much to ask. But my father doesn't know when to stop. Telling me that he wants to either kill himself or skip town and never see his family or friends ever again (including me) is something that is not necessary. He knows what my friends and family have gone through *including me* and his actions and words are completely uncalled for. I am so lucky to have my friends, family, and boyfriend, though. They truly make me feel like the whole I have in my heartwhere my father once resided is full with their love for me. For all of you that helped me these couple of days, I am forever grateful. Hopefully he will think logically about this, but dont hold your breath.

I am so excited to move on. I am so excited to find my new life in Texas. No worries... I still have my life in Kansas City, too. My life is still my friends and family. I wont be far. Im a phone call, email, xanga comment, myspace comment, or facebook comment away. I think I'll make a dedication post soon, if i can find time between the packing and spending extra time with the people I love. If I happen to forget to dedicate something to you, its only because my mind is in 2935830 different places right now.

Love you all... comment if you wish!

XO - Marissa

So about Nick and his stresses.... almost gone. Well, besides the fact we move in two weeks and the stress of getting that settled...

Not only has Nick become quite the top seller at his dealership, but he has a FAT paycheck coming his way next pay period, and that same pay period JUST STARTED TODAY!! :) That's how good he is lol. He has so much more motivation and incentive to do well at work, and I think he finally figured out this whole selling thing. I know I am over here boasting about him, but I cant help it! I am so proud of him. He has made some great decisions in the past two days and I couldn't be happier. I LOVE YOU BABY! KEEP UP THE AWESOME WORK!!!!!

As for me packing, I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING YET!! I know, what a procrastinator! GRR!! Thats okay... this Sunday thru next Tuesday Ill be working very hard to get things packed.

OH AND GUESS WHAT? Nick and I are moving into a place of our own!! I am super happy about this because it gives us the peace and quiet we need along with the privacy. And if we dont want to have privacy, we can have people over! That made my day, also. YAY!

Well, I am in a SUPER good mood... any one else in a good mood? COMMENT! I wanna know about it. Im lovin' this...

XOXOXO Marissa

Currently Listening Be Here By Keith Urban You're My Better Half see related

So everyone is doing this, but it looks fun! :) Enjoy the answers.

Song Titles Applied to Life

Put your ipod/Limewire/Winamp playlist on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.
No cheating!

How am I feeling today?:
Addicted -- Kelly Clarkson (dont know who about, but okay!)

Will I get far in life?:
Bills, Bills Bills -- Destiny's Child (Oh great... this looks promising)

How do my friends see me?:
Seasons of Love -- Cast of Rent (Awww... how perfect)

Where will I get Married?:
When You Love Someone -- Bryan Adams (so anywhere I suppose... I dont know)

What is the story of my life?:
Your Body is a Wonderland -- John Mayer (uhh... sex fiend? haha)

What was highschool like?:
Edge of Seventeen -- Fleetwood Mac (Interesting...)

How can I get ahead in life?:
I Could Fly -- Keith Urban (so finding the right person gets me there? YAY!)

What is the best thing about me?:
High -- James Blunt (Im confused...)

How is today going to be?:
If I Could Walk -- The Proclaimers (It's so true.. I'd be there in a second baby!)

What is in store for this weekend?:
Like We Never Loved -- Faith Hill (Oh geez... I better not get calls from the exes again)

What song describes my parents?:
Heartbreak Town -- Dixie Chicks (okay, thats creepy... How'd iTunes know?!)

To describe my grandparents?
Making Memories of Us -- Keith Urban (couldn't be truer on both sides... how right!)

How is my life going?:
Dont Cha -- Pussycat Dolls (haha so funny, considering SOMEONE called last weekend and I feel so much like that.... cant have me! MUAHAHA!)

What song will they play at my funeral?:
Rest in You - Waterdeep (weird how a Christian song came up ... I was thinking some rap song was going to play... that'd be my luck!)

How does the world see me?:
Cowboy Take Me Away -- Dixie Chicks (fits since Im moving to Texas in 17 days...)

Will I have a happy life?:
Thankful -- Kelly Clarkson (I dont know how to take that one...)

What do my friends really think of me?:
Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under? -- Shania Twain (sayin' Im slutty? YA RIGHT!.. this makes me angry lol)

Do people secretly lust after me?:
Just Might (Make Me Believe) -- Sugarland (guess not...  but thats okay!)

How can I make myself happy?:
Dirt Off Your Shoulder -- Jay Z (haha yeah biotch!)

What should I do with my life?:
My Baby Loves Me -- Martina McBride (aww... he does! dont know how that pertains to what I should do with my life... any ideas?)

Will I ever have children?:
Whats Up Lonely -- Kelly Clarkson ( TELL ME THATS NOT A NO!!! UGH!!!)

What is some good advice for me?:
Put Your Lighters Up -- Lil Kim (Haha, um okay? What do I get out of that?)

How will I be remembered?:
Brave New Girl -- Britney Spears (well thats good!)

What is my signature dancing song?:
How Forever Feels -- Kenny Chesney (anyone can dance to Kenny!!)

What do I think my current theme song is?:
If I Fall You're Goin' Down With Me -- Dixie Chicks (Haha SO true...)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?:
The Trouble With Love Is -- Kelly Clarkson (I guess so.. since people think Im making a mistake for moving.... I'll show you!)

What type of men/women do you like?
Oxy Cotton - Lil Wyte (great, gimme a drug dealer and Ill be good to go!)

What is my best friend's theme song?
Hotel California -- Eagles (Is she moving to Cali?)

HAHAH That thing just made my day... quite entertaining. I recommend that EVERYONE does this! :) Do it and see what happens!!

Have a wonderful day!

XO Marissa XO

In life, there are moments when you are selfish...

But what if the time comes where that special someone just needs to hear that you love them and that everything will be okay.... and you are selfish?

TONIGHT happens. It was so awful.

Sometimes, I dont realize that he may need me sometimes just as much as I need him sometimes. I forget that I am his support like he is mine. I wasn't there for him. I didn't listen. I was so worried about our personal issues and myself that I wasn't listening to him. He was crying out for help and I feel like I turned my back on him.  Never again will that ever happen. I feel so awful. I love you, sweetheart. I'm here for you...always.

Im a lucky girl to have him. These are moments I know how much I truly love him.

Pray for him... he needs it. He is so down right now. I hope we can lift his spirits up! I want him to smile like this again... I wish I were with him.

Leave some love... I need it, too.
XO - Marissa