Science ProjectsYeah, I know, the one entry thing isnt working very well. I'm going to try to get that fixed so it's one entry but you can go to the next page, and if i cant. I'll put the calender up if it isnt up already. Sorry, guys, Im just trying to make it less laggier and easier to load. Science Projects:: 
Zack: "Oh crap, the science fair is today?! I haven't even started! I'll never have enough time to learn how to spell!" Dr. Thorpe: It's cool if you don't want to let your mom help you, but this is just ridiculous. Zack: I can't even figure out the subject. Making cyctials? Dr. Thorpe: Even beyond the spelling, this kid just lacks basic design skills. Way too much white space. Zack: Well, yeah, the most important word according to that layout is "THE" followed by "SCINCE" Dr. Thorpe: 1. Boiling water
2. Salt
3. Pan
4. Raccoon Zack: Hypothesis: I will get an F on this project.
Procedure: This bullshit
Conclusion: Yeop Dr. Thorpe: Addendum to conclusion: I also have to do 6th grade again. Zack: This is one of those projects that is so bad he probably didn't even get the mandatory participation ribbon. It'll be him and the girl who just brought in a cricket in a carboard box that she found in the parking lot. Dr. Thorpe: Hypothesis: Cricket will escape box.
Conclusion: Yope Zack: I think the only way you could pull this sort of project off is if you were really cocky with the judges. You could fake them out so they think that it's some sort of double-experiment where you're gauging their reaction. Scribble notes in a little notebook every time they say something and have this really serious face, but then when they ask you a question affect a hillbilly accent and talk nonsense. Dr. Thorpe: "Hmmm, we'd better give him an 'A' just to show that we're on to his little game." 
Dr. Thorpe: I don't know, man, maybe we'd better leave this one alone. Are we going to get arrested for this? Zack: Look, they put it out there for the judges, so I think we are legally entitled to discuss it. So...uh...8th grade has changed I see. Dr. Thorpe: Well, uh... so what are you ladies doing later? Zack: Did you bring your tape measures with you? Dr. Thorpe: I've got a car, you know... and I can stay up as late as I want. Zack: I would LOVE to know what the hypothesis was on this one. Just so I could somehow detour my soul out of the eternal fire for which it is bound. Dr. Thorpe: Please, God, give us something to work with that's not innuendo. Even that graph is a little suggestive. Wait, damn it, no it's not! I just think it is because it's right next to the word "spurt" and a tape measure. Zack: I bet this one made every male judge cut his eyes to the side and mumble questions uncomfortably. The female judges are like, "I always wondered about spurts myself. Oh really, 8 feet is the greatest distance? Todd Jenkins you say? My, my, my. I wonder what his mother is feeding him." Dr. Thorpe: All the boys in the class had to wander past this one a few too many times with their sweaters tied over their waists. "Dude, this is better than the Shannon Tweed aisle at Blockbuster." Zack: I bet there's some male classmate who sees this science project and next year comes in with "FEMALE EJACULATION: FACT OR FICTION?" with a bunch of construction paper question marks and pictures of Annie Cruz. Dr. Thorpe: Hypothesis: those bitches is just peeing. Zack: Procedure: unspeakable
Conclusion: yeop Dr. Thorpe: Addendum to conclusion: And for some reason a cricket came out. 
Zack: This kid has a bright future in the penny cleaning industry. Dr. Thorpe: Her parents are using the science fair to prepare her for the family business, which is running roadside stands where motorists can stop and boil their pennies. Clean pennies, while you wait! It's a slightly less lucrative offshoot of the comb boiling industry. Zack: Which is itself a development of the massive stamp-steaming industrial complex. Dr. Thorpe: Which is not to be confused with the Southern tradition of deep-frying Mars Bars. Zack: I bet the different cleaning agents he used were like Coke, orange juice, water, root beer and penny cleaner. Dr. Thorpe: Hypothesis: rut beer work beft Zack: Procedure: put a penny ih mouf widda cleaner and swaller it Dr. Thorpe: Conclusion: fuck Zack: By the way, penny cleaner is made out of 20-molar acid. Dr. Thorpe: This science fair photo is in loving memory of Betty Marie Lancer, 1992-2000. Zack: "A well-meaning daughter who loved to taste things." Zack: "Honey, I don't know about that epitaph..." "What?! She was eight years old, she didn't do shit." Dr. Thorpe: Eventually they settled on "Our curious little angel." Zack: They buried her in a special graveyard for all of the kids who suffocate in abandoned refrigerators or get their heads stuck in plastic bags. FOUND AT :: http://www.somethingawful.com/ ~~Ikons R The Shizz!! | 
