ive gained 7 lbs. its the holiday season. and my lack of willpower to my moms baking. GAH and were goin on vacation in february to a very exspensive ritzy tropical resort... that means swim suit... in public. so yeah i need to get control of myself.. and fast. 7LBS!!! i have been moping around and biting everyones heads off... and for the 1st time in a long time... some of my jeans are tight and my shirts look horribble on me. idk why but when i feel like obese (as i do right now) i dont even act like myself... like it isnt me. im just so miserable. Blah. idk why weight matters to me so much. ill always be fat no matter what i do. i cant loose weight. Well i can but it takes forever and the secondi eat anything it piles right back on.

ah oh well. my and the boyfriend nick garchow are still together.<33 i love him to peices. to see some mega cute pictures of us look at my myspace http://www.myspace.com/braindead2127  but ive still somehow managed to be like best friends with my ex joey. which we wound up breaking up because his bestfriends girlfriend told her boyfriend lies about me.. who then told joey who then didnt directly tell me this, but he just acted funny. i thought he was just being a dick and so then.. i broke up with him. So it was really all because some stupid whore got a wild hair up her ass and one day decided she didnt like having to be around me all the time... So idk i feel like we should have never really broken up.. but once we figured all of this out we were both already hooked up. idk i feel like he still likes me though. We still hang out and see eachother quite often. I saw him tonight infact at a mini concert dealy. here this is the message he sent me on myspace (on the bottom) and the one i sent back (on top) tell me what you think:

To:	i clench .. http://www.myspace.com/skakidsyeah
Date:	Dec 22 2006 10:49 AM Flag as Spam or Report Abuse [ ? ]
Subject:	RE: Hey
Body:	hey well im glad youd think of me during ur second hour class. lol. I do hope ur mockrock thing went well... wish i coulda saw it. but yeah... i am going to the hall show today, no doubt. ill be there like 5, 5:30. I actually really cant wait to hang out with you. lol weve been trying but when we actually do see eachother we only talk for like 2 seconds. but i will be there. I promise. even if my car breaks down, i will walk. loves you too jodi ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: i clench my fists as i release my sins Date: Dec 22 2006 12:30 PM hey sweetie how have you been? just wondering...... im at school right on 2nd hour..... and im really board last day of school and all i have mock rock umm 5th hour i cant wait its gonna be awesome ill let you know how everything goes..... umm and then l8ter around 5 theres the hall show! Are you going to it? its gonna be fucking amazing like i wonna like see all the bands there.... well if you go we..'ll like smoke a cig together or sumthing lame hahaha well i gt get back to class in 2 minutes FUCK Love ya