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| Relationships...Yes yes, I know. I'm not the most qualified source to be talking about relationships, seeing as I have not been the best at them in my lifetime in the very limited quantity that I have had, but I promised I'd post about this today, so here I am. Actually, I've recently been told that I should write a book about relationships and though I'm not sure how that would be done, I do think it would be fun to do. However, as I continue this post, if any of this applies to you and you disagree, then you are welcome argue or rant or throw things at me. This post is meant to help shed some light on a few things I've noticed recently about certain relationships. I'm going to bring up three issues, none of which have anything to do with the others, but just something I've noticed and don't agree that I think is dangerous.
The first issue I've noticed in girls who are staying with guys, not because the guys are nice and care about them, but because they want love and feel used to the pain that the guys inflict. This problem follows the classic maxim, "Better the devil you know...than the devil you don't." I've tried to wrap my mind around this problem and went through a few headaches over it. It's easy for me to tell you to dump the jerk and move on, but it's not that simple, is it? Your emotions are involved with him, you've placed a certain amount of trust in him, you care too much about him. Maybe he caused you pain, but you are willing to overlook that because you're used to it and as long as he is still with you, you feel loved. I've learned this is a very complex issue and haven't quite been able to grasp it fully yet. However, what I would say to these girls is this: if love is what you want, then you shouldn't have to repeatedly deal with the hurt. If you can't break ties from him at first, start pulling away from him. Hang out with different friends, spend less time around him, take your mind off the situation. As you find new friends that love you and new experiences that you love, you will slowly be able to see that you can walk away from him and wait for someone who truly cares about you. Simplistic, yes: effective, maybe.
The second issue that I've noticed is how many times when people get into a relationship, they are cut off from friends and everyone else except that person that they have the relationship with. I think this is very dangerous because it places too much of your emotions on one individual. When they are happy, you are happy. When they are sad, you are sad. Do I think that relationships should have a certain amount of that tie? Absolutely. Do I think you should be totally dependent on one individual? Absolutely not. Your friends care about you, that's why you are friends in the first place. Don't cut ties with them just for a guy or a girl. Invite your friends to have an involvement in your relationships. They'll keep you in line and give feedback on situations when you don't know what to do. Can it work out? Sure. One of my oldest friends has been in a relationship like that for about a year and it's going well. Did she lose friends? Yes. If she marries the guy, that's fantastic. However, if she doesn't, what was the point? Simply, there wasn't one. So, stay close to your friends.
The last issue that I'd like to discuss today is one that maybe one of the hardest issues to judge in relationships, the physical aspect of everything. Some people save a kiss until they're married, some see no problem with kissing in relationships at all. I'd say that how you decide what's right for you is between you and God. I'm not here to judge what you do physically. All I would like to say is that once you do something, it becomes easier to keep going to the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing. As one gets old or boring, maybe it's time to try something new, something more exciting. Now, I'm not saying that this is going to happen. I'm just saying it does get easier. The girl I told you about earlier has been in a relationship for over a year and all they've done is kissed. If you're strong enough to know where to draw the line and stand by it, then you know what you need to do to stay there. However, if you haven't drawn a line at what you are willing to do, I'd strongly suggest that you do that. It's far easier to decide the line before you come into the situation, than to find while in action (that's for the guys). So, in short: draw the line, and please be careful.
Anyway, thus ends my first official relationship post. It did feel good and I hope you may have gotten something out of it. If you noticed, I never mentioned God in any of my advice. The reason I didn't is because, if you're not a Christian, my advice would not apply to you. If you are a Christian, these are just some practical ways to stand by Christ's teachings. If I've contradicted the Bible in any way, do not hesitate to let me know. Thanks for reading.
(If you have any comments that you would not like everyone to see, you can email me: impact4213[at]gmail.com)
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| Reflections...One night, as I was driving home on a dark winding road, I was straining to see where I was going. It was a two lane road and I couldn't even see the lines. However, there was one thing that I did see....the reflectors on the road. As I looked out in front of me, the one thing that keep me from swerving into the other lane or from crashing into the woods was the combination of my headlights and those small reflectors on the turns of the road. How can something so small and simple have such a big impact on how we drive our cars? At that moment, I thought about reflection...
In life, often times we are traveling on a dark and narrow road. We may know where we are going, but getting there is certainly an issue. We have woods on our right, oncoming traffic on our left...so, how do we navigate the terrain? The answer is as simple as when we drive a car; we turn on our light and look at the reflection. Sometimes, when the darkness of life engulfs us, we don't have to keep going on blindly. All we have to do is turn on the light, take a step back, and evaluate what we are doing. In reflection, we can better stay on the right path and avoid crashing into the trees around us.
This is a small simple post, but I would challenge you to take a step back and look at your life. Are you on the road or getting ready to head into the trees? Turn on God's light, reflect on the circumstances, and in doing so, you may be able to better focus on the road ahead...
“You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room.”
-Dr. Seuss
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| Ballet Lessons...So, I went to one of my good friends ballet recitals last night. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect. I mean, I knew there would be tights and makeup. I knew I would cringe everytime I saw people stand on the edge of their toes (how someone can do that...it blows my mind). Other than that, I was going to see some friends and take my brother to see his classmates dance. Little did I know that I was going learn a deep lesson about life.
I watched two ballets last night. The first one had amazing choreography, everyone moving around and yet it all looking like one machine. The second one was great as well, because it was like a story put to dance. The story was of an eagle, from birth to soaring through the skies. It was in this ballet, that I heard two quotes and learned two lessons.
Lesson #1: "A baby eagle can not fall faster than it's father can fly."
After the baby eagle grows for a little while, he is pushed from the nest by his mother. He begins a free fall, trying to stay up, but not able too. Yet, just as he is ready to die on the rocks below, the father eagle soars down and catches him. In the same way, maybe God pushes us out of the nest sometimes to see if we can fly. We may feel like we're falling, but just before we hit rock bottom, God shows up and wraps us in His arms. Maybe He keeps pushing us until we learn how to fly. It's not because He is mean, but because He wants us to learn to soar. We can't just stay in the nest all the time thinking that we have it easy. We must learn to soar and experience all that He has in store for us. That's lesson #1. God pushes us so we can learn how to fly.
Lesson #2: "The eagle can not stop the storms, but it has the ability to fly above the storms."
Now, I thought this was really interesting. When animals feel a storm is coming, most of them will go for shelter and to rest somewhere safe long before the storm arrives. The eagle doesn't do that. It waits until the very beginning of the storm, then it soars off, letting the winds of the storm take it higher and higher until it is beyond the storm or above it. We all know the storms of life may come our way. However, maybe instead than hiding from them, we use them to take us places beyond the storm. Instead of hiding beneath trees and between rocks, we can soar above the storm. We can learn from the storms and use them as a launching pad to something higher and better. That's lesson #2. Storms can be stepping stones to something great.
Anyway, those are my ballet lessons. Thanks Miss Joy for inviting me! It was truly a blessing. :)
Isaiah 40:31
"But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint."
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| Masks."Not everyone is meant to make a difference. But for me, the choice to lead an ordinary life is no longer an option."
-Peter Parker
As we go through our lives, many of us must make choices to either go with who we truly are or put on a mask for other people. Many times, people will say that this is a bad thing, because you should always be who you are. However, I have a question. What if you take on the mask of a hero? Is it ok to shine on the outside when inside you are dead?
I guess my ultimate example has to be Spiderman. Was it better for him to be Spiderman or to be Peter Parker? Naturally, Peter Parker was better for him. He could spend time on his studies, keep promises to Mary Jane, and enjoy his life. However, as Spiderman, it was better for other people. Even though his life as Peter was crashing down, Spiderman was saving lives and helping people. So, what should we do? Should we give up who we are in order to help others?
Any ideas would be appreciated...
(As the princess walked in, everyone stood up from where they were sitting and watched as the beauty of her majesty took a seat next to the prince. When the people were again seated, the servers began to bring in their gourmet meal. However, everyone couldn't help but stare at the too young ones, Alyssa and Isaac. What a wonderful couple the two would make, they thought. Christina stood over in the corner, and as sad as it was, she thought that herself. They would make a lovely king and queen one day. Her head sagged as she wished she could just disappear.
Suddenly, Alyssa called Christina over to get her some more water and to introduce her to prince Isaac. Their eyes locked on each other for a few seconds. No words were exchanged, but with that look, they had spoken a million things at once. Christina quickly hurried off to get water, as Isaac remained dumbfounded at what he had just felt. He couldn't wait to see what would happen when that servant girl came back...)
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| I've learned...This past week, I've learned (again)...
...that sometimes the right thing and the hardest thing are the same.
...that sometimes you have to push people out of the nest so they can learn how to fly.
...that often in silence ideas are born.
...that everyone wears a mask, but some become a part of it.
...that life is truly a game of inches.
...that when your head and your heart are in conflict, you must look at which one God is holding.
...that sometimes God's light shines brightest when our way seems darkest.
...that love is powerful, and so is death.
...that everyday miracles happen because we breath everyday.
...that the most powerful house needs a solid foundation first.
and I've learned...
...that a simple smile or kind word can change a life.
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