okay.. sheesh, i'm updating. i never have time for these anymore, because i'm so popular.

HAHA.

Anyways, I'm running for ASB Secretary. Unopposed. So friggin boring. And today the girls basketball game was boring cos we killed them! our score was double theirs, for the whole second half. It loses it's magic after we're up by 20 points, you know?

My conversation is meaningless, and existentialsim taught, me not to waste my life on the computer.

So whenever I feel like it, LESLiE

so today was the first day for me as a dogmatic reporter and suave but aspiring journalist. haha. *barf* i was soooo NERVOUS! i've never been this nervous in my LiFE!!! i hate CAMERAS with all my heart and soul. i'm such a good public speaker but under the spotlight, i melt faster than the Witch of the West (East?).

Well, after the game, i interviewed Coach Carl Buggs and the old Ed.Sports reporter, Errol Parker. The interviews went pretty smoothly, i just said "uh" a lot and i'm really practicing HARD not to. i'm sooo excited because i'm meeting lots of new people and i'm out there in the community.

MAN that was scary, i'll do better NEXT time.  i promise, for all my loyal fans and viewers at home.

Brought to you by a girl's hope and dreams, this is Leslie Shim, signing off. Back to you.

today was the BiG RED. it was so friggin' fun... @ least i felt that way. i danced with a lot of people and i booty-bumped everyone whent hey were freaking and it was pretty funny.... gosh the sophmores can be sluts sometimes! haha... i <3 people from poly though, and i was so glad that most of us could dance... it woulda been embarrassing if we couldn't.

i met my old friends from hill again... fun stuff! i saw keara, sideth, jeff, eric, thai but no girls. and what thai said was pretty cool because it was like a red cross dance and he's kind of ghetto, so i said, "not your scene, huh?" and he was like "it's cool, it's supporting measles." and he wasn't really worrying about how he spent his money on the dance and having fun, it was more like what he spent it for, and not only for himself.

i also met new people from wilson: dorn, john, mike, vu, that tall chinese guy and the other tall people. they helped me realize how much i suck @ connect-4. seriously. it was so sad, they had to help me. haha...

after that, i had to go pick up my unappreciative sister. i swear, i'm not taking her to anything, she doesn't deserve it. and i had to leave the RC dance to. stupid, i swear. i totally waste my time doing shit for her and she's always in my face. $^#%#&%&^(&!!!!!!

 love, LESLiE

I'm sitting here, worrying about school. What's going to happen to me? My educational life in high school for the last three years have basically been hell adding to the hell of pressure every Korean person I know has given to me. And you can definetly see it in my grades. PACE only helps the people who are doing well in this program, it boosts their legibility for  Ivy-Leagues, but for the people who kept stumbling, it just shows that they couldn't keep up, that the pressure got to them.

Why can't I just choose the way I live? Why do people have to judge each other from the standard of life they're born to, they've risen or fallen to? Let me be. I've made mistakes, and at the very moment I did them, I never took a moment tostop and think about how it would affect the rest of my life. Was it wrong? I just want to live life for the moment, not be mentally or emotionally harassed by whatever step I take and worry about how it'll affect the rest of my life. I don't want to live my life thinking that the littlest things, like going for a jamba juice during a study group can hurt you. It's just not me.

I think I have Teenager-Syndrome like full blast. You know, that feeling when you feel like everyone's against you, wants to bring you down and no one else can help you. The world isn't fair, and I can't shake off the feeling like I'm going down faster than a helpless person flailing for help in quicksand. 

I look outside and I'm jealous of the people who live in the low standard of life and they enjoy it. It's like a catch-22, you can enjoy the simple life but are doomed to ignorance and being almost immobile socially. But when you're rich, you think you're enjoying the high life, but some rich people miss out in the essential facts of life like stupid Paris Hilton. But they can go to any college they can pay for as long as they get in.

I always hoped that God had put me in this life exactly for  certain reason, but I haven't figured it out yet. It doesn't even seem like I'm going a certain direction... I'm lost.

post more later.

hmm... it's been a long time since i was last up in here. it's beena long time since i've usually been up in here. this week...FRiENDS.

i was thinking about friends. it's really hard to find really good ones, and i always feel like i'm always being taken advantage of because i like being friendly. i mean, i used to have this one best friend, and like he totally stopped talking to me, but i'm not sure if it was my fault. we were really good friends, but i didn't do anything wrong , that's for sure. he just stopped talking me or even trying to, and when i stopped talking to him, it was like it didn't even matter. i got used to it of course, and i'm sure he did. i still love him, but i think we were only friends not only because i was fun to hang out with but more strongly because of his amourous feelings towards me. and i can't lie, mine's too, more off then on. but the difference is i was always there for him whether it was when he remembered that i was still existing, in between girlfriends or not.

And i also have this other friend, which i got to know really well, and i'm not sure if we're friends because it's like a new friend and we're just starting to get to know each other and not getting on each other's nerves yet. i'm also not sure if it's because he's had problems with a really good friend and is just sticking it out with me because he doesn't want to be alone. but i really love him as a friend and i'm glad that we're like almost best friends this year. it's so weird cos we almost didn't even know each other in the last two years. but i'm really starting to love him and we've bonded sooooo much.

i also have another friend who doesn't realize the important things and is really selfish. in freshman year, we and another friend were really close, but they made a wrong decision and we all feel apart. i advised against it but he didn't listen and he has the balls to complain that the other party made everyone hate him because of their relationship. that's almost true. i don't like him for that fact that he acts two-faced, that when he's around me and individuals who know how he's really like, he's himself (a pinch of jackass, ignorance and mix of cool jerk but i still love him), and when he's around other older individuals, he acts like he's someone else, and then he's all worried that people will find out, and does anything even become dinsensitive of others in worrying about himself.

anothr friend, i have, is a blunt and honest sweetheart. i can tell her anything and she'll tell the truth even if it hurts me. and i love hanging out with her, but i don't feel comfortable around her friends. it's just that group is weird, you know, they act immature and have inside jokes and i just don't feel like i belong. i'm not sure if people in that group like me, but i always goover to hang out with her because i love her.

i know i should tell my friends all of these things i'm feeling. hopefully they'll just read this and ask me about it, because i don't know how to present my discomfort. it's not like i'm going to stop talking to them just because of this. but it's like.... it's always in the back of my head. but like i said i just need to get this out but i still care about and love them.

Anyways... more importantly, my uncle is leaving to iraq on monday. God protect him, and i will pray much.

finals weekend.

<3 LESLiE