|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| "Hello, Officer Randolf speaking..."Wow....crazy week. Thankfully, Katie is not actually dead and/or kidnapped.
Now we are off to Summer Camp tonight....nothin like an all-night drive. I have to say, the possibility of camp not having any coffee makes me a little nervous....
All you peoples going to Florida next week.....I'm not joking about video chatting me in for Disney night....
*sniff* Madison, I'll see you in 17 days...
| | |
| I've got the job! Yeah, so as most of you know, I've been the resident intern at the SL Vineyard for the better part of 2yrs, and with my internship ending in 3 weeks, I had not heard from the powers that be whether I would have a job or not at the end of it all.
Needless to say, I was feelin a little nervous...
However, as of 28min ago, I officially have a job here as full time youth ministry staff (maybe I can convince them to call me the associate youth pastor) but more importantly, a job with a significant salary increase. Don't get me wrong, in the grand scheme of salaries, this is chump change, but compared to the nothingness of before....I am way excited. | | |
| Catharsis Today, I rolled into the office at the early hour of 12:45pm. Feeling newly invigorated from the large amount of sleep I got this weekend (and from the iced doubleshot I had just ingested), I decided to take on the task of un-DTS-ifying our office.....which is a bigger task than you might think. After a few hours, most everything was put away. However, my main source of catharsis came not from throwing tons of stuff away (which really does fill me with a genuine sense of delight and accomplishment) but from erasing the giant whiteboard that has lived in Ben's office for the last month (which if you came to the youth offices at all during June you prob noticed how Ben and I would start to panic if anyone got too close to it in fear of some vital piece of DTS related info being accidentally erased). The pure joy I got from simply erasing a whiteboard probably means I need counseling or something, but really....I now feel lighter, more at peace with the world....like everything will be alright.
*sigh*
| | |
| Master of Psychological ManipulationSo, yesterday Ben cc'd me on an email to a parent in which he referred to me as the "Associate Youth Pastor". The following is my response to said email and our ensuing correspondence/negotiation. _____________ Jun 19, 2008 Dear Ben,
I was not aware of my new title of "Associate Youth Pastor". However, I am honored by the promotion, and have included a list of my demands regarding taking on said title and accompanying responsibilities.
-company car -company cell phone -company house -company starbucks credit card -$40,000 raise
I think considering the skills I have (i.e. basic computer skills, paint-by-number skills, only recently expired CPR training skills, etc) you shall come to agree that I am an invaluable asset to the Vineyard Youth Ministry team.
Audrey
_____________ June 20, 2008 Dear Audrey, All of you demands are unreasonable, but I am willing to negotiate.
-unlimited use of church van -unlimited use of church phone (local calls only) -sleeping arrangements in the Loft -all the coffee you can drink, at church -a 400% raise, by my calculation that would bring you to $1 an hour
I await you reply
Your Boss, Benjamin D Weber, BA, MATS, AAAG
_____________ June 20, 2008 Ben,
As my supervisor, I was expecting a negotiation from you....here is my rebuttal.
-use of church van, with gas paid for by the church -long distance calls on the church phone -church supplied air mattress in the Loft -my own bottle of vanilla flavored creamer for church coffee -600% raise to $1.50 an hour
Your associate youth pastor, Audrey A Omenson, BA, MAP(ish), IQ 136, non-freak-of-nature, non-puker (this is starting to sound like an eharmony profile description)
_____________ Dear Subordinate, I will agree to the following:
-Unlimited use of church van, with gas provided. -long distance phone calls billed to Reagan -church supplies insulation foam instead of a mattress -flavored coffee creamer -600% raise
You run a hard bargain, but I agree you do hold some qualities that at beneficial to the youth ministry. I hope to get the other qualities out of you soon.
Your immediate supervisor, Dr. B. D. Weber, BA, MATS, IQ 154 (according to the internets), Non-puker since February 17, 2008
Yessssss! Hello Audrey, master of psychological manipulation. My life is definitely going to be primo now....
| | |
| Coldplay! Here on Nov. 18th!
Tickets go on sale June 14th!
Yessssssss.... | | |
|