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Indestructable
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Country: Canada
Gender: Female
Interests: Anything creative; drawing, writing, poetry,
As well as going out with friends, and listening to music
Expertise: Complication, Confusion, and getting myself into problems that i never knew was possible....
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
7/27/2001
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| Eternity
When the daytime fades the world changes its colors
And evening seems to contemplate making its appearance.
My thoughts turn back to you,
As the world falls into a trance.
For a second, all things become a photo…Frozen in time.
While my heart breaks from the pressure of memories,
A tiny fragment of happiness,
Too soon to escape my mind.
The transition from day to night,
Place a sense of security inside my soul,
as the last of the memories entangle themselves about me…
Until the dark blankets of night, slowly sweep the sky,
And we fade into the night. | | |
| It's not that I don't want to write, It's that I don't know what to write. Eventually I am sure the words will begin to spill out of my mind which has locked them up for so long. But for now it's even becoming difficult to find words to say to my friends, even though i know i can tell them anything...I just have nothing to say as of lately, which doesn't make anything easier on me...yet at the same time, I don't really seem to mind. | | |
| What am i? Who am i? Questions which have plagued my mind for years, and for some those questions might me easy to answer, i am human, and who i am is tara. But those are unsatisfying answers.What am i? I am a person, body, mind, and soul. I am a fighter, i am stubborn. I fight with people i love, and end up hurting them because of it... even though i never mean to.I am a teenager who is full of angst and confusion, swamped with problems. Problems that should have left with my father...but they have yet to leave. Issues with words said, and actions made...because of my father. He brought me nothing but hate and anger and the abilty to scream....a habit that has yet to subside. But with that in a weird sense he gave me the abilty to express my opinions freely...but unfortunatly a little too freely.I am also a lover... i care about people in my life so deeply it hurts, but it hurts them because i can't express it. It hurts them because i am too stubborn to apologize for the things i have done wrong, even when i try. I am a hopeless romantic, yet too scared to be romantic. To scared to open up to people in fear of being hurt...meanwhile Im hurting myself because of it.I am confused, about everything going on..about all the questions there seem to be no answers for. Confused that saddness, and chaos are more comforting than happiness. Expressions of joy are difficult to express, it always seems as if its inapropriate considering there is so much other stuff going on. Its not that i don't ever feel happy..I am happy.. but happiness scares me, everytime everything in my life goes great for a while.. it freaks me out.. because i know that something bad is coming, and it always does.I am a negative thinker, for the most part.. i choose to look at the negative aspects before i search for the positive. I never stop thinking, my mind is always running in circles, there's no rest.I am like no one i know, i write too much, i draw toomuch, pictures and words of the shadows lurking through my mind of creatures who once brought me down so far it felt like i'd never be the same. I am misundertood, and frustrating to those who crave to know all that i am. Frustrating to myself. I haven't healed yet from the scars i've developed...and its been years since i've been through hell and back... and im too impatient, it makes me nervous to think I'll be in this shell forever... waiting until i can finally crawl back out....
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| Have you ever had one of those days that it just feels like your a pain in the ass to everybody?? And its not even a whole day of it... i mean.. the days going fine... then suddenly within a span of like... an hour everyone makes you feel like shit?? yeah... just happened... i hate it when that happens. I mean, im not even the jealous type but my boyfriend comes over, and sits and plays the guitar with my younger sister for like an hour... then i walk in, and she tells me to fuck off... like what the hell is that?? then my mom starts raggin on me.. i mean... honestly... don't i have a right to want to spend time with my boyfriend... so i just walked away... came on here to vent how pissed off i am on this... then he comes in and tries to be all sweet... its nice ya know.. he's trying to make me feel better... but i swear to god he loves hanging out with my sister more than me... cuz she loves to joke around and stuff. I like to joke around too, but there are times when you gotta be a little more serious. *sighs* Oh what a night.
Sweet dreams everyone | | |
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I haven't been here in a long time... I thought I'd just leave this place.... but i don't think i can... I've lost my creativity as far as i know... but it could come back.. Here is my favorite song... i think it says so much...
I will never bother you,
I will never promise to,
I will never follow you,
I will never bother to
Never Speak a word again,
I will crawl away for good,
I will move away from here,
You wont be afraid or fear,
No thought was put into this,
I always knew it would come to this,
Things have never been so swell
I have never failed to fail
PAIN (x3)
You know you're right (x3)
I'm so warm and calm inside
I no longer have to hide
Let's talk about someone else
Steaming, soon begins to melt
Nothing really bothers her
She just wants to love herself
I will move away from here
You wont be afraid or fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it would come to this,
Things have never been so swell
I have never failed to fail
Pain | | |
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