Shopping Cart Seatbelts are for Stupid Kids

It never ceases to amaze me, the amount of stupid kids in the world today.  Stupidity reigns supreme doesn’t it?  When I was a kid, there were no seatbelts in your cart.  My family would take me to the local Gemco and in the cart I went.  I never had a problem you see… even as a kid I knew that you shouldn’t try to stand up because… well, you can fall a long way down… and that shit would hurt like hell.  I know… it’s not all the kids fault is it?  I mean, seatbelts aren’t there because your local Wal-Mart cares or for the safety of your kid.  They are actually there to minimize lawsuits held against a company when stupid kids decide they want to grab some cookies and teeter over the edge in their attempt to acquire the delicious goodies.  You see… that’s what stupid kids are good at, knowing what cookies are.  9 out of 10 stupid parents agree that cookies make the perfect bribe food for their retarded little shits.  Interestingly enough, spanking the retarded out of your children is considered barbaric behavior these days but leaving your dim-witted little fucks unattended and unwatched long enough for them to fall out can, and most of the time is, considered an honest parenting mistake.  Maybe not so much a mistake either, maybe it’s just part of the growing process… dumb-ass parents and kids learning together.  Dip shit parents unite, everyone knows that it’s not your fault that you’re stupid and that you need to be compensated monetarily for the shortcomings of you and your kids.  The process of natural selection used to kill off the dumb-asses of the world with creative accidents… Death used to chuckle when stupidity made his job easier and now we make sure they get rich enough to create three times as many drooling little cookie mongering dumb fucks, yes Death is pissed off lately.  You know you’ve thought it… admit it people.  You’ve looked at one of those little fucks and thought to yourself “what a fucking stupid little kid… that one’s gonna end up under a car one day”.  Well, one day there will be 3 more to take his place… because their parents sued Ford for not designing their cars with a warning sticker on the front of the car saying “Don’t Play Here!” not that the ignorant little fuckers could read it anyway.