k so i'm actually gonna update partially because i know that no one is really gonna read it.

So I have feelings for someone who pretty much could care less if i existed. It's crazy...but i wouldn't change it for the world. Why? because I used to whine about nobody liking me.Do you know what happened. Guys started to like me, and i didn't like a single one of them. Let me tell you, it's miserable. Knowing you're hurting somone but you can't do anything about it. I was beggining to think it was biologically impossible for me to feel an attraction to anyone. Then i met him. He saved me or at least the little sanity i had left. He doesn't know. Girls like him all the time. To him i'm probably just another one of them. & if he doesn't feel anything for me....so what? I don't get my happy ending, but at least something to keep my book going. I'm thankful. The way i see it is, if you can't have both-To love and be loved in return-then choose to love. Apathy is the worst state of existence...Dead people can be loved, but they can't love. Even if it means pain, give it to me anything but apathy.To Feel is to Live.