IriSh_LOv3's Xanga

Friday, January 05, 2007

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 04:21:47 GMT

i hate leaving maryland...

especially for certain reasons

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 00:47:31 GMT

ehhhh i hope i can move back to maryland

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 01:43:18 GMT

ummm idk

nothing is new

i work alot

im getting my belly button cut the fuck open since the piercing got so infected

i dont know how....but im on antibiotics and shit

so yea...

this sucks...

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 23:42:46 GMT

i wanna go back to maryland ....now

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 04:24:15 GMT

so i just got back from maryland and it was fuckin awesome

totally surprised alot of people

gahhhhh i miss them all already

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 19:52:16 GMT

um k im bored

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 04:08:31 GMT

yea idk nothing really has happened...

im still mad stressed out but thatll never stop....

and idk i hate alot of things...>_<

Monday, September 18, 2006

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 23:13:37 GMT

gah i have hardly been sleeping...its worse then it usually is ...

i like...think to much ...way to much

i always do this lastnight it was like around 1am when i went to bed...

i was like laying there ...got all good and ready to fall asleep but i couldnt ....>_<

cuz i just think

about anything and everything ....i thought about writing this xanga entry lol

so starting at 1:00am

i start thinking...

-i cant wait til i got back to maryland itll be fun

-i wonder what me and the gang are going to do

-i cant wait to see them

-will they still like me?

-will they think i look like shit? what if i gained weight and they think i got to fat ...i guess i need to lose weight soon...to make sure im not fat at all

-how am i gonna say hi to everyone ...i mean do i run up and hug them like i want to or...play it cool

-what about cortney i wonder if i will start crying when i see her...or anyone....ill look like a fag if i cry....i cant wait to see her ....we started hanging out alot more and then i had to leave...that really blew ...i like hanging out with her shes alot of fun....and we're so much alike...and she knows how i feel about problems cuz shes having the same problems and u really dont get a best friend exactly like that all the time ....

-i cant wait to see mike ...i miss hanging out with him i hope i see him alot when im there...how do i go a day without talking with him ? .....he makes me laugh alot ...i have alot of fun with him...hes an awesome friend

-i cant wait to see all of the guys ....eric me and cortney need to hang ...but what if theres not that much time ....i need to see josh and everyone else too

-i need to spend time with nick...i cant wait to see him ....i love that kid ill be so happy to finally see him...i think i took him for granted ...yea i def. did...i never really believed that i was moving away from him...i never thought it would be this weird...to not just get to see him at any moment...but it sucks....i really hope he visits me up here like he said he would

-i took alot of time for granted with my friends....like when me and mike had that fight ....and we didnt talk for like month...i should of given up but i didnt want it to be true how im always the one to forgive someone....im stupid i shouldnt have done that

-i hope i make more new friends soon ...i liked having alot of people ....i miss that

-i miss lauren ...i cant believe we've been friends for so long ....life really goes by fast....i remember times me and her had and it just feels like it happened last week

-i miss being little....hanging out with lauren and melanie....everything was so simple....i wasnt hurt by a guy every other week ....

-i remember wishing i had a boyfriend...now i wish i never started dating

- i miss my old house...there were so many memories...even with the bad ones....but in my new house theres nothing its just a place to go...

-i can imagine my house clearly

(short pause cuz i really think about how much i can remember my old house....)

-i should of taken pictures ....but eric and me had to go to a pool party....i guess that was more important....but maybe it wasnt ...i should of said goodbye....

-i dont like my new school ...i miss bel air....i miss walking through the halls knowing 90% of the people...i miss the fact that if i all of a sudden died in the hall....people would know who i was....and depending on what people someone would be like 'holy shit meg'

-i dont like my job at mcdonalds already....its not wendys....i miss being at wendys i knew that job so effing good ....i was ok at it i guess....

-i hate it that next week is homecoming week ...i miss having a boyfriend ...i havent had a real one in a while ....i had alot of flings before i left....but ...i guess i never was important enough to make it real

-i wish i was more out-going ....but i have no idea how to fucking talk to people ... i dont know how people do it ....i would try but im to shy....

-i think ive been getting drunk to much ....not to the point where its a problem but i just shouldnt do that ....

-what about when i have to leave maryland again? gah thatll suck....itll be horrible ...i dont want to imagine what itll feel like cuz i hate it here....and i want to be there so badly .....

- change sucks really badly ...my senior year...and im alone ...

-i think sometimes i forget how to talk ..

-gah i just cant wait for everyday to go by really fast so i can be in maryland with the people that are my life...

-i cant wait to see jamie...shes like a little sister...she was good to have around ...and hanging out with her at night when cortney or someone wasnt sleeping over was awesome

-i cant wait to see debbie and joe ...they are really awesome....and fun to be around

-that house was awesome too ....i wanna have another ghost sleepover...that was so much fun...

-gah i cant wait

- i wonder what everyone is doing right now

and then ...i look at the clock ...and its 2:30am ..and i realize...everyone is sleeping....

but me.

now you know why i cant sleep.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 00:35:26 GMT

well ...

ummmmm uhhhhh idk

hopefully things are starting to look up for me

i feel better now ...and im actually semi happy

i dont work til like monday ...

um...theres a football game on friday ...since the marching band thing i flippin have to go ...and it really bothers me that i suck ....ive never sucked at anything ....to the point i wanted to quit ....but i do ...really badly....but ...idk the kids in that class are awesome....so its like....bleh ...i have to either give up a class with cool kid and suffer ....or yea...

but it is starting to piss me off that i suck so bad....

>_< anyone know how to play the flippin drum....i need lessons like a motha

Monday, September 11, 2006

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 00:10:32 GMT

this is directed to a certain person ...cuz im pissed...

fuck you asshole ....

stop fucking with my head

i cant believe u would do this to me...again ...