Currently Listening On the Strength of All Convinced By Daphne Loves Derby see related

My long lost xanga,

For some reason I feel guilty about something. I dont know what I feel guilty and bad about though. I've come clean with my guilty conscience with the people that i've hurt so why feel guilty? work? leaving my parents for college? not working as hard as I can in softball? no.. none of these things really play a factor in this unknown reason of guiltyness. I want this burden off my shoulders, pronto.

goodbye

Im glad we had that conversation.

Atleast I have God in my life

im the luckiest girl alive.

wow

Currently Listening The Greatest Holiday Classics By Kenny G. see related

I'm sorry xanga... your once faithful user has turned herself into a myspacer.

Life has taken quite the flip the last few months/weeks.

My excessive drinking has been simmering down but never to a complete halt! I've stopped drinking and driving though due to a few requests and my own personal safety and the safety of others. Partying this weekend? you betcha...

Im single... its an odd feeling after being with an amazing man for 3 years... of course I miss him, but the pain has and will subside with time... Ive been a little lonely... but thats expected, right?

Colleges have been asking of a dvd of me pitching and hitting for awhile... so i finally got that done last friday. It went alright. I think I did better hitting than I did pitching though... never have done good with a camera in my face! I'll be scheduling a college visit to Ashland University soon and possibly a few others. I'm getting excited/nervous/scared/anxious (talk about mixed emotions) with college coming and all but I know all will be well, hopefully.

I have a new kitty . His name is Little Pooty (laugh all you want) and this little bundle of love came scratching at my back door about a month ago. Hes about 5 months old and soo playful!

I locked my keys in my car Tuesday morning at Terra... I also locked them in my car... again... last night(Wednesday) at the high school and I can't find my spare keys I had made anywhere! My car is hard to break into, too. That's like what, the 5th time in my new car? I believe so... around 5 times in my old car too. I have a very short-term memory.

I've been hanging out with my friends a lot, which is always fun.

Thanksgiving was fun. Got to see my cousins from Dayton that I dont see that often anymore. My grents came over and I stuffed my face, imagine that. I also went shopping with Justin and Aaron on Black Friday. I started the day off by waking up at 3:45...am... justin picked me up and we met aaron at wal-mart... got my $13 1GB flashdrive! I can thank justin for that one... they would've been gone, had breakfast at mcdonalds at about 6:30am, went to best buy in sandusky by 8am, went to the sandusky mall and was back in fremont by 10am, where we sat around til 11:30 waiting for our checks. Went to Justin's house, layed around, then he took me home at noon. I didnt get to sleep until midnight that night. 21 hours awake... I'm not fully recovered on sleep yet either.

Christmas is right around the corner. Hoping for a cd player for my car, an ipod (doubt ill get), a few other things. I love the holidays! I have lots of money to spend too!

It feels good to right in xanga again   maybe i'll make this a weekly thing? haha

3*<3*Miranda*<3*<3

summer is over, terra has started.

Me and my mom were on our way to Findlay mall today. There was a man at the corner of a busy street with one leg and crutches holding up a sign "Will work 4 food".  It was the most depressing thing I've ever seen.  It made me feel completely worthless.  As tempted as I was to jump out the door and give him the $7 i had on me, I didn't.  But instead, I prayed for him, which is just as good.

I kind of realized today that no matter what happens in your life, you keep living. What happens is in the past and the only thing you can do is look forward to the future and live for it. There are people out there dying to have 1/2 of what I have and I'm not taking advantage of my blessings.  I'm going to try to handle difficult situations a little differently than I have been lately. Who knows, I may feel a big difference in my mood, I may feel no difference.  But it's worth a try.. isn't it?

I've been thinking a lot about college in the future. It's a big decision. Do I play softball in college and sacrifice great grades and a social life... or do I give up my greatest passion in life for a social life and a big career.  I wish I already knew what college i was going to and what I'm going to do. Life would be much easier.