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Wednesday, April 02, 2008
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If you love something, set it free.
I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I'm so stupid I swear.. This is really hard, only if you could understand. I love this girl so much :/ but there isn't anything i could possibly do about it.. she has a boyfriend and she is happy and i don't want to mess that up for her.. I've already done enough messing up of her life. oh well If you love someone, set her free right? and if she comes back its meant to be? *sigh* only if dreams really came true.
anyways i have an appointment with the army recruiter guy this Thursday. wish me luck?
later days
Thursday, March 27, 2008
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Why can't i stop?
Almost every night.. It seems like I cry myself to sleep.. I HATE being like this.. Why can't everything just be fixed already. I'm tired of having a secret friend ship with you. Its like we can only talk through text or when people aren't looking, I feel like a piece of shit. Its not your fault its mine all mine. I just don't understand why people cant trust me anymore.. Why must they always think I'm going to try something? WHAT THE FUCK! To bad wishes don't come true :/ Because if they did, I wouldn't be like this anymore..
Oh.. p.s you added me. HA i added you for a few hours, then deleted you. I don't why i added you in the first place... I mean i just fixed something with someone i really care about... and its strange how on the same day you add me? hmm well I'm over it and over you. I just don't want you in my life. I'm sorry if I'm an asshole. but hey its life. you gain people you loose some. I just so happen to be the few you loose. I'm sorry again but I'm doing fine with out you in my life. I hope you understand, I've been through so much its just not possible to be your friend again.
later days.
Currently Listening
Carnavas
By Silversun Pickups
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Saturday, March 22, 2008
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I just broke down last night.
Damn.. I can't believe it. Last night we had a movie night and people came. In the end I took everyone home but usually It was gilbert last.. So then we started talking because I haven't talked to him in a long time. He told me what was going on in his life I told him what was going on in mine. Then suddenly on the way back towards the donut shop near crawfords, I blacked out.. then got light headed. WTF what a trip. I pulled over and my head was pounding.. Mind you this was at 3 in the morning.. anyways It felt better after so we started driving again. Then when we got to Gilbert's house he was about to leave and I told him to wait.. Then I started to talk about her.. Its not Vimi, its someone else. Then as i was talking I started to cry.. And I don't think he has ever seen my cry before.. I don't know what was going on I just kept talking and crying.. thats about it.. The main point of this is.. I was going through my old messages on Myspace and I found a butt load of old messages from her, and I read ALL of them.. Now I finally realizied how much I fucked up her life... I don't know what the fuck I did. I know I'm not the type of guy to do that... but I guess its true when they say all guys are jerks.. :[
I'm sorry for rambling.
Later days
Currently Listening
They're Only Chasing Safety
By Underoath
Some will seek forgiveness, others escape
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Wednesday, March 19, 2008
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It times..
I think its about time for me just go move on, get over her, stop thinking what it would be like to be with her..
So I end up telling her how I feel, and all she says to me is "Oh.. Okay.." How great is that? And now when I talk to her she makes it seem awkward.. And she STILL hasn't brought up the subject.. This is a total let down on my part :[ I really thought she liked me the way I thought she did.. That just goes to show you that I fucked up some where, and I was wrong.. Man I guess you guys were wrong. I don't deserve to be happy yet, I just gotta wait a little more longer I guess.. I just hope it doesn't take too long... I'm tired of looking for love.. I'll just wait till it finds me..
I'm feeling lethargic..
Later days..
Currently Listening
Second Hand Smoke
By Sublime
Badfish
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Sunday, March 16, 2008
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Le sigh.
What a let down :[
</3
Island_Pride101
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- Name: Christian
- Country: United States
- State: California
- Metro: Long Beach
- Birthday: 6/2/1989
- Gender: Male
- Member Since: 4/6/2004
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