Okay theres a lot of things i want to get off my chest.

1st thing.

What is it with people and drama? Can't we all just get along? Seriously, im not trying to be funny. It is rediculous. Girls run their mouths constantly and for what? It's annoying and i'm tired of it. Im tired of hearing about things that i said...and i never even said it.

I'm tired of being in the middle of someone elses fight, and not even knowing how i got there.

Im tired of manipulation, Im tired of bitches, Im tired of misjudgements, im tired of people thinking they are non conformists, im tired of ignorance, im tired or sluts, im tired of drugs. Im tired with all of it, and no longer want to be involved or anywhere near people or things that get in the way of me having fun.

2nd thing

When you are handed something, do not be a bitch about it.

Accept it with gratitude. I hate when people think that every one else owes them something. THEY DONT. I hate how kids have generous parents, who buy them cars, clothes, and support them, even when they are 18 or over and they still do nothing at all to help anyone but themselves. It is selfish. Stop being selfish. When you mess up that should be on you not anyone else. And if someone is taking the time to help you get through things, then you should respect them. You should take all the help they are giving you, not only to help yourself, but to get further and be better as a person.

3rd thing

Sorry i always go on these rants. But no one reads this stuff anymore anyway cause it was from like 6th grade.

Why cant people just grow up.

thats it im done : )  

So i know i havnt written in here in along time. I almost forgot my password.

But i just wanted to type for alittle.

Im not in such a good mood.

Does anyone even read these xangas anymore?

I dont think so. I think its just MYSPACE HOEESSS now.

Scott Anthony Tipton died January 28th 2006.

He was born on March 21 1985.

He was my Big Bro I love him to my death and i know i will see him again.

He died from a heart disease he did not know about. He had an oversized heart.

This was caused from previous drug use.

So if your on drugs your an idiot

You should stop. I know its hard but it really does mess you up and you really can die.

Dont think your the one thats not going to die.
Because it can happen. So dont act all hard and tough and like it wont because Scotty T was the biggest guy and he was so tough and great and i thought nothing could ever happen to him. But it did.

And now hes gone of the earth.

But i know hes looking down on me saying dont do what i did. Dont be stupid.

Yeah soooooo Love ya Scott

My big brother forever

"Jesus was a carpenter, He just needed a good foremen." -My sister Nicki

You should remember everything right?

How people really are.

How many times you get screwed over by your "friends"

How come people are so fucking dumb? How come they dont see it. People SUCK!!! They stab you in the back. Their not going to be there for you in the long run. They wont even remember you at all. They wont care about you or anything and now your all prally saying "Oh shes my best friend, She'll always be there for me." Okay well when she out fucking your boyfriend, and calling you a whore behind your back tell me shes your best friend. Im sorry if this is pissing you off or depressing you but its the truth.

People really need to grow up and stop being childish bitches. What about the people who really care about you. Like i dunno...your family. I mean they'll always be there for you no matter what, but NO. Dont worry about them. My god what the FUCK! Im sorry it just makes me so angry. And if you dont likke what your reading then hit the little X up in the cornor of the screen and dont read on.

How many "best friends" Have you had in your life? How many friends? How many different kinds of people have you ran into.

Friends dont let Friends drive drunk! And you know what else?

Friends dont let Friends fuck their Boyfriends.

But, do boyfriends really matter more then a friend? How long have you known your friend and how long have you known your boyfriend?

Boyfriends? YOUR NOT GOING TO MARRY THEM! I know dumbasses that are like 13 are all like omg! Im in Love! Okay...? Your not in "love" sweethearts what I THINK is that your in love with being in love.

You just want to be in love. You want someone there to say i love you. You want someone there to fuck. You want some there JUST TO SAY THERES SOMEONE THERE.

Now, this is all just my opinion of course. But i have the right to speak it do i not? And so do you. You dont have to agree with what the hell im saying but i mean you should really take into consideration of thinking for yourself. And i know there are some people who do have their own minds. But then theres the ones that are all like..."Oh No i have my own mind i really do " When you really dont! And you know you dont. You honestly know that all you do is go around listen to what other people say and agree with what their saying.

When theirs smart people who watch people and listen to what their saying. And figure out if the person is a dumbass or if the person is smart.

Like theres those guys who are all like "Omg! I smoked so much weed tonight you have no fucking idea hahahahah it was crazy i dont even remember what the hell happened i just woke up with this huge bruise on my face hahaha"

Some people would laugh along with them and say "wow man thats so cool i woulda loved to be there" Some people would say "DUMBASS!" and then theirs the people that would say "wow i wish i coulda watched your dumbass fuck up and get beat that woulda been alot of fun for me...just not you"

New topic:::::::::::;

How about that peer pressure?

Those words shouldnt even be spoken!

See peer pressure? Okay i have no mind. I dont know how to say no because im stupid so im going to take that drink.

People have their OWN MINDS they should know how to use it. Having your own mind goes along with making your own god damn choices. Not someone elses choices YouRS! And yeah i do agree with letting people make mistakes. But dont make mistakes for other people make them because YOU WANT TO MAKE THEM!

And then theres the people who try and make everyone happy. See i know how this is. You go around and do everything for everyone. You dont know how to say no to someone because you feel horrible if you dont. Even if its something small like them asking you for a dollar.

Well you know are you happy? No! I bet you go home everynight and say "Wow its nice seeing everyone with smiles on their faces, but i hate looking at the cuts all over my body"

Making everyone else happy doesnt do anything but bring you down.

And watch out who your friends are too, i mean at any moment they can fuck you over. ANY MOMENT! Im serious. Im sure alot of people have been through this. I mean....it sucks doesnt it? When you think someone is your friend and then they stab you in back and walk on away like it doesnt even matter at all. Well i know this might sound stupid but its true.

"What goes around comes around"

All their doing by fucking you over, is fucking themselves over. Ya see? Because later on when they have no friends, no family, no nothing they might say "hmm maybe i kinda fucked up alittle"

Wow ive typed alot....but i think i might just keep going.

Some people just dont understand why people are the way they are. Well FUCKING GET OVER IT THEN! Dont talk about it. Dont sit around and go "omg i dont understand why that girl dresses like that" and blah blah blah. What the hell, your just wasting time away from time you could be out doing something called HAVING FUN or maybe fucking your boyfriend. Stuff like that. I mean come on! Does it really matter that much to you....my god what the hell do you care?

Now me? Small things people do really piss me the fuck off. You may have guessed that already, i dunno. But just stupidity angers me. Stupidity, selfishness that kind of stuff. Yeah you could say i have anger problems...which i do and sure ill admit it.

But maybe just people in general piss me off. Im really not sure what my problem is yet. Maybe you could tell me? Since you know it all right?

Thats another thing i hate when people are like NO IM RIGHT! and then you prove them wrong and they still wont admit to being wrong...

what is that!? why wont you just admit to being wrong for once just fucking admit it. My god its really not that hard...and i dont understand what the big deal is about it either. I love to debate. And yes ill admit sometimes im wrong. Now dont get me wrong i know that people have strong opinions on things because im one of them. Some of my opinions will never change no matter what people can say or do.

Can you say that same?

and now your probably saying "this doesnt sound like erika" or "she has alot of fucking problems" heh Well...i dunno do i or am i even erika? Do you even really know me? Have you ever really taken the time to have a 1 on 1 conversation about shit with me or has it just been "you wana chill" or "you wana get high" Think about it? But then some people have. See my point of this is, you never realyl know people. You never really know who they really are or how they really feel about things...because you dont take the time to know. You think you really know them but you dont. You think they are you friends when really their what people call "aquatences" And yeah. I am an aquatence to people out there. And people out there our the same to me. They just dont see it.

I know this is pretty depressing, and sad, and pathetic that i wrote this much when i could be doing something better but i wanted to. : )

Well i think ive got enough off my chest about things....so im going to go back to watching television with monika. Theres a very good movie on right now. If anyone read all that....wow your crazy! Lol but thanks for taking the time to go through all my talking about anything and actually read word for word. I do appreciate it.

<3 Peace n Love BiTchesS <3

~ Me

Joshua Lamar Edwards

1988-2005

I love you. Rest In Peace.

04-19-05~ I'll never forget you

Yesterday i woke up and decided that i was going to make it a good day. So i went to school and second period was art. That was fun. So i walked out of the class room and went upstairs and was told to go to guidence? And i didnt know why so i was just kinda confused. So then i turned around and Jessica came up to me and told me that Black Josh had passed away. I was in complete schock and i didnt believe it at first. So i turned and saw sara crying in the cornor. I came home early today.....i cant concentrate. I have a picture of him. Josh was the nicest, most caring person ever. And i loved him...and i still love him. He's beautiful and whenever you needed to talk about something you could count on him to be there. If someone was down then he would find away to make them happy. Just looking at him and thinking about him makes me smile because all i can remember is him smiling. Everytime i saw him he was doing something funny. He made everyone laugh even if you were in a horrible or sad mood, he always madeyou laugh. He was good at everything he did. He was a great writer. He was a great friend....and he lived a great life. He was much wise beyond his years. Talking to him seemed like i was talking to a person who had lived forever and expirienced so many things. But he did. Josh went throught alot. Good and bad and it made him stronger.  He was all around a great person, and he was quite the character. Always had something with him like his yellow bat, or his pimp cane. I'll never forget him. He helped me so much. He was always there when i needed to talk. He was so intelligent and just so kind. If you needed help then he helped you and he was very loyal. Josh has so many things good about him. And it hurts so nad to know that hes gone and cant do those good things anymore. But we can and i will. I'll never forget what hes done for me and for other people. Hes had a huge impact on my life and for that im passing it on. Im starting a fund for kids and teens with epolepsy. And me cary and lisa are holding a concert in his name to raise money for his parents and donations for the fund. That way were doing something josh would want to do....and he will be remembered. Forever. I'll always love him.