Have you ever felt so bad that you would want to kill yourself!?  Have you ever felt that you are going behind someone's back without knowing that you did it? i feel kinda bad i dont know if i have been a great friend maybe i was back then when i guess i believed my friend who in the end kinda hurt me i guess i forgave them i dont but i hold grudges n i try to stop it but looking back to dat past fucking sucks man!!! ever felt that the past is a real bitch these days?  I would like to know your guy's opinion on this question.

How do you feel if someone you wanted to be great friends with is two faced, like when they hangout with a different crowd they start acting like they diss like you but in some what way felt that it was a bad thing to do, and when they are hanging out with they seem to hecka like you and respect you? what would you do if you were in any of these positions..? im so confused!?!?!?!?!

OMFG!!!!! i havent written in dis shyt for hecka long time damnz.. well ya this school year has been a bitch lately... goddamn!!! im so fuckin fucked cus i dont fucking get y people r acting hella stupid!! dey be screwing up my damn emotions nd dats jus not cool man! it cant happen like dis!! break ups,make ups, backstabbing, jealousy all that shit happening and now my damn grades r pissin me of... im slackin off more on my school cus of people's stupid careless acts!! and its hella fuckin gay!! o im jus gunna let it out straight yall have a mouth right den goddam use it dont just fucking  hide that shit that u want to scream out.. if yall got something to say to me then say it cus im fucking tired of playing around too much shit has already happened this year.. and u people cant make me chose sides whether to pick jays or rodis damnit god!!! i luv all my friends so y cant we just stop the fighting and the bickering damn nd the lame thing u call talking behind ur back!! cus dats weak dats hella gay of u to do that nd its stupid. n one thing dat hella bothers me if u actually listen to what i say like " ur hell dumb with boys" nd it ends up making u break up with sumone dont fuckin blame me cus dat shit don say ya bitch break up wid ur bf cus u already broke his goddamn heart!! kkk nd another thing if sumthin did happen like u actually did break up wid ur bf dont go to  another guy cus dats still being stupid with a guy .. damn i jus dont think people dont get it wen i say things... heres a little advice fucking think b4 u fuckin heart people like the ones u luv nd urself .. i mean yalls do have brain so damn!!! use them!! ges.. it aint dat hard... i just been noticeing how people are always having an enemy by them i dont get it y cant u just forgive nd forget it aint dat hard it would be soo much easier instead yall just wanna fight and bite each others heads out like crazy damn it hella be pissin me off i hella changed to sumthin i hate really .. nd i feel like i have totally disowned my whole friendship with my old friends im sorry i cant be this way no more!! i jus wanna die.. watch my eternal bleeding ... as u all kno that im a cutter yup go ahead  fear me all u want i dont bite unless i really hate u nd wanna hurt u so badly dat it makes me wanna bring out sumthin that i will regret.. damn shit!! y r people so fake!!! for the fact everybody changed cus of the group they r in dam dat pisses me off nd i myself piss me off cus im hella fucking changing..

to everybody who got hurt in an emotional pain im sorry for u but things shall and will get better if u move on.. if its cus of a relationships nd if u cant get one den ur better of single nd jus being single cus ur gunna miss it wen ur dating and i know diss for a fact.. i kno i aint no expert on giving advice but jus hear me out alright kk... well anyways im gunna go cus dis is driving me crazy nd i dont want to say anything else cus people r guna b mad and i jus cant take dat kno more it cause eternal bleedin for me.. kk byes

-rox

hey monkeys!! i havent been on here for awhile ay? anyways hecka shit happened this week... hella birthdays to celebrate.. so here are the bday people i want to say happy b-lated bday to:

monday:;;// Ann
tuesday:;;''/ Veronica, Allyssa, Anna, n Justine Peran
wednesday:;;// Mickey!!! hahah opps suppose to b mikey right?

anyways thursday i wanted to chill wid jayne's fam but it was on tanxgiving even tho i didnt have anythin special dat day my sis still didnt want me to go even tho i always get invited to go anywhere wid dem i guess... i onno but it felt weird dat i didnt go cus i guess i was way too use to being around jayne n her fam even tho im always shy around dem..well anyways ya on tanxgivin my sis had wurk she came back like at 5 nd left to go have dinner wid her bf's fam i didnt wanna go so my sis got mad at me cus i went to hangout wid my big sis. my mom came by nd dropped sum food for me nd den later i went to the movies wid my big sis nd watched christmas wid da cranks hehe dat movies is kewl... den went to pick up my lil nephew he is sooo cute!!! den went home nd im hecka sleepy right now so ima ditch yall all right...ayta

     P.s. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! "gobble gobble gobble!!! hey he stole my turkey!!!! "

                                                            -rox

shit dis weekend feels like crap ass shit fuck ahaha cussin to much sorri about my french im jus to good at it jk... hehe.. anyways i broke up wid micheal if u guys wanted to kno. if u want the reasons y i did it u would have to ask me.. i dont feel like reportin it to the whole world in this xanga haha"world" lol sure.. i've been missing my old friends i use to hecka hangout alot.. its basically makin me feel relli depressed..nd yes i did have a bf dont think "what!!!!" lol watever ill try not to hear da fucked up crap people say.. anyways ya skewl has been okay i went to the movies on friday wid jayne and richie as always richie would be talkin through the movie.. i hate dat wen people do that.... it was a kewl movie there were heckuv lil kids so i couldnt cus or anything lol..den hey we watched it today too hehe jayne lied to her parents bad gurl!! u should be ashamed hehe jk der chick!. anyways im out! layta damn i have to update this badass creation.

                                        -rox

damn i havent written in dis shyte for like a month err...um more i think watever..this begining of high school has been totally weird @.@ i onno but our stupid teachers are giving us lame ass homework.. we have to do the individual or independent work reading thingy i onno we have to make up a presentation about a person or talkin bout a preson's perspection i have no clue wat i said but it probably doesnt sound right...anyways yesterday was fun i went to the homecoming dance wid michael jayne and richie.. we got there at 8 o'clock but the football game was still going nd dey were saying dat the dance will start after the game and the game took hella long.. me and jayne just walked around da skewl trying to find richie or michael... but durig the time we were walkin i hadnt noticed that i lost my ticket i guess i was too excited for the dance... we kept lookin for it nd wen the time the football game ended a heckuv big crowd started coming... nd so we tried getting me in the dance bcus u kno i lost my ticket damnzzz but it was hella funnie jayne's friends named rachel nd amanda" i think dats hur name" but yea dey gave me der ticket after they got into the first ticket holder... but we didnt kno we would need to have checked like freakin three times okay so on th 2nd try the other gurl gave me hur ticket nd so the lady looked at it nd saw the pic right but she still let me in weird im like okay but u kno thats not my face hahah i was saying dat in my head.. then like in the third ticket holder they busted me stupid blode as bitch ticket holder okay srri bout dat shit she was giving me bs and we all kept tellin hur that i lost it durin the time of waiting for the dance theyr hella lame i started crying nd i was shaking the whole time.. jayne and da guys were still outside still trying to figure a way for me to get it it was a hilarious night  cus wen i was out of the gates there was a guy out there too saying dat he lost his too its kinda messed up how u can lose things over being excited i knew in my head sumthin was goin to go bad even jayne thot so too damn we think alike to much...anyways like tell later they found the onli hope we got we think she is a parent cus usually a teacher wouldnt be nice. dat lady actually had da list of the people who bought their tickets.. omg!!! i luv yalls who helped me get me in i was like a shit!!!!!! y did it happen i think sign from 6.........o.....(l.. but like ya dat parent was awsome..wen they got me in i was still crying nd shaky all over it was werid cus wen dey got me inside the gates agen that blonde bitch was still bitching... ekkk!!! im cussin too much ay!?...well anyways yea i started to cool down but by the time they got me in 2 hours and 30 min had passed since we got there... after the dance we waited for jayne's parents they picked us up at like 12:30 am.. hecka late right i started to fall asleep .. anyways o ya we went nd watched the movie taxi.. i hecka wanted to watch thhe grudge cus it hecka looked like the ring nd it didnt seem scarey to me anyways we(jayne, me, nd richie) didnt watch it cus her ma wouldnt allow her to watch a movie well anyways i must go to sleep alrighty den nite night u peoples who r up at 1:57 a.m. right now..layta

                 -rox