IwIsHiWaSaLlAmA's Xanga

Monday, October 06, 2008

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 00:46:08 GMT

Sometimes I forget to live in reality, because it's easier to be giddy and happy than to have to think about the possibilities of what life could be like in a few months. It's good to enjoy it while I can... right?

But when reality hits will it be a million times worse?

Friday, September 26, 2008

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 02:15:56 GMT

I love that we got to spend tonight cuddled up watching my favorite movie.
I love that he told me it was stupid.
I love that he took me with him to look at a new apartment.

I love the way he smells.
I love how it lingers on things... so even when he's not here, I can hug my hoodie and remember that he was.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 01:34:27 GMT

I don't know how to say how I feel about this guy.
When I try my words get jumbled in my head.

Last night we sat in my car for hours just talking. It was the best.
He's smart, he's fun. On the surface he's carefree, but when it comes down to it he's just like me.
He's does what he does because he doesn't know how to break out of it. For him it's also more of an obligation.
But there's that something else that is pulling him, and driving him...

He says stuff that makes me think, about the world in ways I never intended to.

I don't know where this relationship will go. But I hope it goes far.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 01:20:42 GMT

Today, an old 3000GT drove past me.

It wasn't red, but it had pins in the hood. It made me think back to the days when that would have been my favorite car.

The days when we would spend hours sitting in that car and talking, when I came home from Europe, and we leaned against that car for hours... in my pajama's. Holding hands while he was trying to shift, the smiles, the laughs. The songs I learned, I started loving Billy Joel in that car. I first heard the Barenaked Ladies, and the Goo Goo Dolls in that car. I fell for Spanish music in that car. I remember how he used to dance like an idiot in that car. Our first date when he decided to go down by the river, and drive way too fast, I almost peed myself. The weekend we sat in his driveway while he fixed the hood, and I handed him wrenches. I miss those days so much... not necessarily him, just the way we were carefree and young.

That car made memories, but then I remember the other things. The reasons things can't be that way, and I'm happy that they're not my problems.

But I still miss that old GT.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 00:03:36 GMT

Like clockwork....

every time I post a blog I get an IM from someone having something to do with trout.

It's very odd.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 00:02:34 GMT

The little things are what make me like him so much...

The way he holds my hand, usually with one finger.

The way he says "Is something wrong, baby?"

The mischevious sparkle he gets in his eye when he's talking to me.

How he always puts his hands in my front pockets right before he's going to kiss me.

The way he kisses me before we go back to work, quick... but solid, like if he does it any other way it won't mean enough, or he'll just want more.

The way he says "Good Morning."

The way he makes me feel when he smiles at me.... and I know it's only for me.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 03:42:12 GMT

I cannot sleep....

Because I am thinking about shoes. A so-close-to-perfect pair of red pumps that I found last night... and didn't buy.

Now they're stuck in my brain, because I put on a dress I haven't worn in ages tonight... and all I could think about was how great those red pumps would look with it.

And now I can't wait until tomorrow, when I can beg my boyfriend to please get dressed up this weekend so that I can justify wearing my dress. And tomorrow after work, I will race to the store and hope with all of my might that my shoes have not been sold.

I think that I will look slightly like Marilyn Monroe, and that makes me happy.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 22:26:06 GMT

And for once I thought someone might not be lying.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 02:58:27 GMT

Today, I told a coworker I am boycotting the Olympics. He gave a weird look and said "Watch them anyway!"

There is a point to this boycott-ment. China has so many ties to countries that show absolutely no civil liberties to their citizens. China shows very limited liberties. Example: Reporters find it very hard to cover this particular set of games because of the "Internet Police" that block any website that the government deems to be "sensitive."
In my opinion, the Olympics should be a picture freedom and equality. Not tyranny and mindless control.

On another note, I realized how mutually beneficial my current "relationship" is. I mean, if he and I weren't whatever it is that we are, I would have no one to move hardware wherever I deem appropriate, and he would have no one to restock the ice in the freezer. Or bring him coffee.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 03:20:10 GMT

I've written 15 different posts.

And none of them suffice.