I often find myself disappointed by others. I cannot really find any faults in them, though, because I, too, am guilty of doing the same thing. I'm sure I disappointed handful? no, truckloads of people. I always strive to be a better person. No, scratch that. Before I truly came to Christ, I didn't even TRY. I always gave an excuse of saying that I'm trying, but I never really did. Laziness and indifference were my real excuses. Anyways, during the time my mom was sick, I was disappointed by many others: family members, friends, and people who supposedly care for us "greatly." If there's one thing I learned from that experience is that people will always let you down. Maybe that is one of the reason I have turned to God. See, by that time, I have realized that God was (and is and always will be) the only One who never let me down. Sure, you might think that all these bad things are happening and God isn't doing anything about them. Wrong. If you only realize that God is helping you and stopping you from being in pain further, then you'll truly realize God's genuine love. I was only hurting myself from relying on others. It was my fault that I was hurt because others let me down. It wasn't God's.

      Being raised up as a spoiled brat, I'm used to my helplessness and defenselessness. I always inclined towards others and sought help among them. I expected people to be near me and help me every step of the way. And if they failed to do so, I hated them. You see? To me, other people were my idols. People was my idol. (I say "was" because it was an object for me rather than people) God casted down my idols and rebuked me of my wrong doings. He allowed all these things to happen in order for me to be stronger in Christ and closer to Him. And I thank Him for that. People will say that I'm just being optimistic or too analytical. People will say that those are all in my head, and all those things just "happened," not because of God. However, I say to them: "You look at the changes in my life and what I could've done instead of what I actually did. A person can change his or her way on their own, but not all of them can have such fertile results. If it's not God's blessing, then I don't know what is. Surely, possibility and probability are not greater than anything in this world. If, all humans are capable of being good and optimistic, then why do we have evil in this world? If we're different then why are we different? Or is that a probability or possibility matter too?" If you read the bible... you can find answers to all of the questions above.

        I'm way off now. I didn't mean to go into whole theology debate, but I got carried away. Oops :X Anyways, back to what I meant to address! I wanted to say that these past weeks have been difficult for me. A person, who I trusted so much, had let me down. I guess that I haven't realized how much that person meant to me. That person's actions and words drowned me into big ocean of disappointments. Although I promised myself and God that I will never "depend" on others, I found myself falling for the same trap. But, once again, God opened my eyes for me and allowed me to see what I was doing wrong, AGAIN. Now, I need help getting up. I don't hold any grudge or any negative feelings on that person. I still love that person and I want to forgive. Forgiving is the biggest difficulty I have with people. It's easier for me to forgive what "strangers" do to me, than my closest people. I feel like a hypocrite when I see myself struggling to forgive and forget other's wrongdoings.

        I have such high hopes on myself and what others will do for me. I now realize that that;s not the way to do it. Instead of relying and depending others, I WILL DEPEND AND RELY ON GOD. I WILL ONLY HAVE HOPES ON GOD AND HIS GRACE.

I'm sorry!

Pray.

Power of prayer is perhaps the most powerful & important tool in this world. It can change all from the smallest things to the biggest things. If you look at the Bible, all of biblical heroes of faith rely on the power of prayer. Despite these factual evidence, what Christians really lack in their relationship with God is "praying." By praying, we open up a way to talk to our Heavenly Father.  By praying, we can receive so many gifts from God. Why are we not praying, then? The answer is simple: we do not yet realize the power of prayer. When we want an intimate relationship with God, we must pray.  When we want to know God a little more, we must pray. When we find ourselves struggling to become like Christ, we must pray. Salvation, faith, gift of holy spirits, and grace all come from our God. I believe that the prayer is the only act that we can initially do it by choice. Do you want to please God? Do you want to be God's friend? Are you hungry to know Him more? Of course, reading the Bible is another way to be closer with God, but I believe that praying is the ultimate source of our relationship with God. It's only hard to pray, because we are not earnestly seeking it. I'm guilty of this too.. I know that prayer is important. I know that I should pray more often, but I don't. I think that's worse than...well, not knowing and not doing it! There are so many things to pray for in this world. Don't you think that it's "a little" ignorant for Christians to NOT pray? Let's fire up our church with power of prayer!!! I know that God deserves more than just those time spent in church. Let's challenge ourselves and others to pray everyday... I'm already excited about the changes that will soon take place in your life by praying to God everyday (& building a eternal relationship with Him.) If you have trouble praying to Him or do not know how to, ask me at: followichthus@gmail.com
I will pray for you.

Dear God:

I hope that I can act out my own words said above, starting tonight.

Amen.