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JBigbee
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Name: Josh
Country: United States
State: Massachusetts
Metro: The Berkshires
Birthday: 9/2/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: God, music, books, games, sports and just about anything else you can think of...and Kim.
Expertise: Listening and observing people. Telling people what they don't want to hear.
Singing and playing guitars...just pick any kind.
Doing stupid stuff by accident when I mean well.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  JTurinB
MSN: josh_bigbee@hotmail.com
Member Since:
2/5/2005
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| God is always more advancedAlright, so I'm sitting at work (don't worry I'm on break now) and I have a RSS feed on FireFox of news items.
And the first one is this:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6176209.stm
The summary being "Circumcision can cut the rate of HIV infection in heterosexual men by 50%, results from two African trials show.
I find this very interesting since over 3,000 years ago God told the Israelites to be circumcised.
Genesis 17:12 "For the generations to come every male among you who is eight days old
must be circumcised, including those born in your household or bought
with money from a foreigner—those who are not your offspring."
God was obviously ahead of the game. Sure, they didn't have HIV then, but who knows what else it was for. God gave many hygienic laws that were uncommon for the time and some just made down right no sense to the people because they didn't know about bacteria and such.
So, once again. God wins.
When will they learn?
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| Startling Discovery
I have some very startling news that I discovered this evening.
I ate at Carl's Jr. this evening and while looking at my soda cup I focused on the Star logo and suddenly felt a hint of similarity to something else. You may recognize the logo also as Hardee's, which Carl's Jr. obtained in 1997.
At first I didn't know what, but the feeling didn't leave until finally realization struck me:
The Carl's Jr. Star is Marshie the marshmallow incognito:
Since obtaining Hardee's, Carl's Jr.'s has been shifting all Hardee's to reflect their Star Logo and so its influence is spreading. Likewise, therefore, so is Marshie the Marshmallow's.
You've been warned...
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| Yeah yeah fineOk, I'll write something.
So I have a job.
No really I have a job.
No I'm not tricking you or taking it back.
I have a job!
Get this ;)
I'm a car salesman. :P
...kind of.
I work in the Internet department. Which means if you live in the southern california area and look for info on a car at lets say...autofinder.com you'd say what car and maybe some options and you'd give a address and phone number.
I call that number and maybe send you a card. Eventually I'll take sales from first contact to sold.
So I'm not that annoying car salesman waiting outside for you trying to convince you to buy. I'm the guy getting you the info on the car you're interested, meeting you when you come to look at it and then taking care of the payment and all that. It lets me be the kind of salesman that I as a customer like.
I was using my manager's old laptop when I had to do things on the computer (most of the time) but I asked him if I could just bring mine and he was fine with it.
So I brought mine today and it was MUCH better. Since it involves a lot of clicking and looking for this and that info, my FireFox browser helps A LOT and is SO much better than IE. It basically...cut my work by 50%. I love it. And I have my numpad and widescreen/nicer monitor.
Oh, did I mention I have all the music on my computer to listen to as well...
So today was my...4th day. And actually a good one.
I have to dress up. Thats like...the only real downside to all this. But Grammy took me shopping and bought me a few new pants and shirts and we found a nice black suit jacket on sale. Score. Thanks Grammy.
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| Late night ramblingsSo I stayed up fairly late tonight...thats nothing new.
But instead of being on the computer I tried channel surfing our...7 tv stations. For the most part that was a bad decision. I did get to see some Simpson, a South Park episode that was actually good, and a funny non-serious hospitol show called Scrubs that I had never seen...it was sarcastic, I liked it.
So the guy on Scrubs was going on and on with this monologue like thing about how people shouldn't be alone and its not a good feeling. And I was like "yeah thats true" and then I thought..."hey, when was the last time I was lonely."
Kim was talking about it with an old friend of hers and I never really thought about it in regards to myself.
So I'm sitting here right now trying to remember what it was like BEFORE Kim.
You see, I'm not someone that likes to dwell on the past...at all. I can remember big events and if someone else mentions something that happened when I was 10 I will be like "yeah I kind of remember that" but I don't ever remember stuff on my own unless something brings it up. I'm trying to remember specific childhood memories and...I can't.
I really don't remember anything specific before the age of...15. Seriously. It sound crazy but its true. Again, if someone brings it up, I can dredge up the memory, but my initial recall is just not there.
So...Kim...It was actually only last July that we got together. When you say it like that it seems really short and unsubstantial and you could almost say "barely over a year and you're engaged" like I've heard so many say.
Yeah, whatever.
But to me it seems like........like as far back as I want to remember...
How did I feel before Kim?...I was ok. I didn't date cause I knew it would get me in trouble. I'm glad I knew myself well enough to know that. But I remember feeling alone. I remember that my single greatest fear, and I have very few real fears, was that I would always be alone.
Now I had God, so I don't want it to be like...spiritually lonely. But God made us this way so is it so wrong to feel alone because you don't have someone even if you have God? I don't think so. If that loneliness overcomes your comfort with God, then you have a problem. Its like peanut butter sandwich. You eat it and you think, well that was good and it filled me up, but something's not right. Oh, thats it, a peanut butter sandwich is just made to have jelly too. Now if you can't get any jelly...you keep eating the peanut butter and being satisfied with that. It doesn't mean that something isn't missing, it just means you're ok with it. Now if you freaked and refused to eat peanut butter sandwiches without any jelly, now we have a problem.
Has my irrelivant, unthought through analogy made sense?
Didn't think so.
So I was lonely...but then I met a girl who actually...liked to be with me...therefore making me NOT alone, which is the very definition of the opposite of lonely...or close enough
And I haven't been lonely, truely lonely since like....October 2005...a year ago. I've missed Kim because she wasn't around and so I felt "lonely" but that was only a temporary physical loneliness. Truly, she's always been with me since then whether or not we were in the same room, house or state.
So I know its still another two days till 16 months, so I'm early...but I don't really care what day it is.
Thank you...
I love you.
-GBWY
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| I take it back...ok nevermind...
I don't have a job. The guy they thought would be leaving or at least fading out...changed his mind and is staying...
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