| hello lovely world of xanga after 1.5 years of not posting....
why the return? primarily so i can no longer be called a closet-xangaer by ahem
(:P) and so i can share with you about my awesome missions trip to
romania last month! the following is what i shared with my sunday
church - it's LONG so you've been
warned! but there are pictures too (although many of those as
well haha) so hopefully that makes up for the length (or that tells
those who don't want to read through, to just skip to the end
:P).
here goes:
For those of you who don’t
know or may not remember, God blessed with me an awesome opportunity to
serve Him on a short-term missions trip to Romania. My favorite testimony about when I was raising support, was when church offered me a certain amount of money. My family and I decided it was too much and we told the elders to take back $500. I
was worried about not being able to raise enough, but that very same
night when I went home, my aunt called me to wish me congratulations on
graduating from college. She said she received my
letter in the mail and thought that the best graduation gift she could
give me was to support me – so her family decided to give me…
$500. In one night, I got it all back and to me, that just confirmed once again that God wanted me to be on this trip. I’m thankful that God gave me this chance to grow in my faith. I went with an organization called Heart to Heart International Ministries and I spent the first two weeks of this month working in a baby hospital, orphanage, and girl’s transition house
(we were also supposed to visit the boys transition house as well, but
unfortunate circumstances prevented us from doing so). Heart to
Heart has volunteer teams and staff at each of these locations
throughout the year. At the orphanages and the
transition homes, teams stay for a month and lead the children in Bible
studies, teaching them Christian songs, and memorizing Bible verses. I
participated in the two-week team which means that I was in all the
different parts of ministry, not just one, and so my team mainly just
helped out the one-month teams that were there. For
example, at the orphanage, we helped keep the kids quiet during the
message, participated in the group games, and played with the kids
during free time so the other team could prepare for that nights
message and Bible study. It seemed challenging at first because I
didn't know any of my teammates, and plus I had to travel all the way
from America to Romania and back on my own (I've traveled enough, but
never on my own!) - but God of course worked it all out. It was
so awesome to be able to be surrounded by people who are so passionate
about the same things I am. My teammates (who ranged from age 14
to age 64, the two girls I got to know best were ages 33 and 27
(although they definitely didn't look or act it), and I was the only
one in the 15-26 age group), who became my second family, and this
organization inspired me so much.
It’s hard for me to describe to you how much these two weeks have changed my life. Before
I get into the children, one of the most surprising things I think was
the fact that I fell in love with the entire country of Romania!
Her people, her culture, her history, her beauty - it all amazed and
mesmerized me. Her history is an incredible one, but that's a
whole different testimony in an of itself that I'll have to wait for
another time to share with you. The children of course,
were the ones that I fell in love with the most. Their lives are
so different from my very own spoiled American upbringing, and seeing
the depth and breathe of the pain and brokenness these children live
through and live with was heartbreaking. To paint a
tiny picture for you of what I saw in the baby hospital and orphanage –
for the babies, all of them are only fed and changed twice a day, they
get baths and a new change of clothes every 2 days, and they are almost
never allowed to leave the room they stay in. The
babies drink rice milk, not even real milk, and the toddlers eat either
a bowl of mashed potatoes or a bowl of watered-down macaroni and cheese
every single day. They are never given any fruits,
vegetables, or meat so these babies and toddlers get the calories they
need, but they don’t get the nutrients necessary for healthy
development. Some of the babies had the worst diaper
rash I had ever seen and sadly, all of them get very little of the
physical and emotional attention they need to develop normally. But these babies were so beautiful and it was such a joy to be able to hold them, cuddle with them, and simply love them. I
got the chance to attempt to teach a toddler how to feed himself,
bottle feed the infants, change my first few diapers, bathe my first
baby, and I even got the chance to hold a precious little 2-month old
that was left at the doorstep of the hospital during my team’s stay in
Romania. The hardest part was always leaving because
these children would cry and scream like nothing I had ever heard
before, and all you want to do is run back in but you know you can’t.
At the orphanage, sadly the conditions don’t get any better. The
ages range from 4 all the way to 18 and these growing kids are still
fed the same malnourished diet – lots of calories, but no nutrients at
all and all of them are physically and sexually abused by the orphanage
staff. The girls have no hot water in their dorms
and not only that, they aren’t even allowed to use the shower room they
have because the staff decided they needed it to hold their supplies. So these girls take showers with the foot washing faucets. The boys have hot water but the staff just don't turn it on for them. The
staff and teachers simply don’t care about these kids and when they are
young, they give them cigarettes to start smoking so almost all of the
older ones are addicted. They all grow up on this tiny piece of land that, similar to the babies, they are never allowed to leave. The hardest part to see was just how messed up their concept of love is. These children don’t understand love because they’ve never truly experienced it. They don’t know how to love others, nor do they know how to be loved themselves. They
grow up being told their worthless, being treated as if they were
worthless, so what else do they believe but that they’re worthless and
they deserve the life they have?
But like I said earlier, I fell most hopelessly in love with the kids at this orphanage. It
amazed me that these kids could still run around, laugh, and smile
despite the harsh circumstances that they grow up in and it’s
incredible what a little bit of love and attention can do to a child. It
gets kind of crazy being there because these kids know absolutely no
boundaries at all – they’re constantly holding your hand, sitting in
your lap, playing with your hair, looking at your fingers, trying to
take off your sneakers, asking why you look Chinese or what’s that
thing on your face (referring to my birthmark). Oh and to these kids, anyone that comes that looks even remotely Asian, what are they called? China! “China China, come here! China look at this! China is Bruce Li your father? What about Jackie Chan?” And what does every single Chinese person know? Karate of course! “China show me karate! Karate!” Even my crazy teammates started calling me what the kids did! So by the end of these lovely two weeks, China or cenezu (Chinese in Romanian) were my two new nicknames.
I
didn’t expect to be able to build any relationships with the children
because I was in so many different places, and all together I was only
able to spend five days at the orphanage – but did God work wonders in
those five days. I spent most of my free time there running around playing soccer, even though I’m terrible at it. It was from soccer that I got to know two boys really well, Razvan and Marius, but especially Marius. For some reason that I can’t really explain, Marius and I just clicked from the start and got to know each other rather well. I call him my “friend soul mate” because although we spoke two different languages, we understood each other so well. We
had so much fun playing soccer, playing cards, getting into a huge
water fight, talking about our families, telling him about Christ,
writing letters to each other, him teaching me Romanian and me teaching
him English? No of course not, Chinese! He grew to be protective of me rather quickly and he became the little brother that I always wanted but never had. We ran, we laughed, we played, and we shared our lives with each other. It blows me away that our friendship blossomed so much in such a short period of time. On
my last day at the orphanage after plenty of hugs and promises to write
and send pictures, I told these two boys to follow me along the wall as
I walked away. There’s a wall that between the
street and the orphanage with a gap on the top that allows you to still
see in, and Razvan followed me and he’s laughing and smiling and still
having a great time. Marius however, just stood there by the path and didn’t follow. I yelled his name and told him to come so I could say bye one last time and he just stood there. I yelled and yelled and he just wouldn’t move and I got so so so angry. I
thought, this is the last time I’m going to see you, you don’ know when
you’ll ever see me again, and you won’t even come say bye?!?! Maybe we aren’t as great friends with each other as I had thought we were! As I continued to walk slowly away, I told Razvan to go get Marius and he ran off. I saw him grab his arm and pull him towards me, but then he stopped and instead put his arm around Marius’ shoulder. Marius’ other friends went over to him and put their arm around him as well...
and then I saw. His
shoulders shaking, his head down, and when he finally turned around I
saw him wipe his eyes as he blew me a kiss and waved one last time. This
teenager, who I had known for only 5 days, was crying and of course, I
started crying as well. I now wear a funky leather bracelet on my
wrist - it's our friendship bracelet and Marius has a matching one on his wrist as well. It’s
great because everyone asks me about it, and I get to tell them
about my incredible friendship with him and how simply amazing God
is :)
Sometimes I think back to what life was like before these two weeks – I
didn’t have to worry about Razvan, Marius or the other kids I met. I
didn’t have to worry about whether or not they were sick, whether or
not they were being abused, whether or not they were going to church. I
didn’t have to worry about the babies, if they were still getting fed,
if they were getting over their colds, if they were finally learning
how to walk. And even more than all of that, I
didn’t worry about my future because I already had everything planned
out, I didn’t have to worry about pleasing my parents or meeting their
expectations, I didn’t worry about depending on others for spiritual
and financial support to go back to Romania because I wasn’t expecting
to. Most of all, I didn’t need God to be in control because I was and I knew what I was doing. The biggest lesson I learned during these two weeks was how to give up control over my life. I no longer know what the future holds or what it will bring. If it’s in God’s will, I would like to go back to Romania every 6 months until perhaps, I can be there full-time as part of Heart to Heart’s staff. But
I don’t know if that’s what God wants and I don’t know if I’ll get to
go back this January or next summer or the years after. I
don’t know if Razvan and Marius will still be there, and I’ll be honest
and say that it hurts to think that I may not ever see them again in
this lifetime, that five days is all I got with them. I’m
slowly learning to give up the control, to learn that having God in
control of both my life and their lives is so much better than having
me in control. Not a day goes by when I don’t pray for them, their safety, and their salvation and hope that I’ll see them in eternity. For the first time in my life, I can finally say that I’m really not in control. It’s
a hard place to be, to not know what will happen tomorrow or the days
after, but being in His control is such a sweet place to be.
picture time!! first, the babies:
some of my teammates and i in the baby hospital
what costel looked like as i attempted to teach him how to feed himself :)
adorable marion getting a bath
the precious (and sadly starving) abandoned 2-month old i had mentioned before
second, girls transition house:
most of the transition house girls (plus some staff)
beautiful loredana - the girl from the house i got to know best
we
took the girls to a nearby lake, and lets just say it wasn't exactly
the most pleasant place to swim in....if you dare, ask me for the story
as to why!
third,
the orphanage (note: the kids LOVE cameras, especially digital ones,
and once you take them out you pretty much can't get them to stop
taking pictures. marius and razvan pretty much felt as if they
were the brand new owners of my camera by the end of my time there, so
needless to say most of my pics are are either of them or taken by them
:P):
here he is! marius :)
razvan! who btw, is the most amazing un-trained soccer player i have EVER seen
christina, the girl who could kick all the boys butts in soccer!
flori, the very first girl that befriended me
georgiana,
the absolute cutest kid alive! i loved seeing her because she
would always jump into my arms and plant a huge wet kiss on my cheek :)
cloudia playing cards with me and marius - she definitely stood out with her bright blonde hair and striking blue eyes
vaseli,
lauren (my teaammate), me - vaseli's holding a poor puppy that was born
to one of the stray dogs that lived on the orphanage grounds
poor vaseli's shoes :( :( :(
one
of the rare occasions marius and razvan yelling at me to go play soccer
instead of taking pictures - marius is in the midst of throwing the
ball at me haha
razvan
and marius wanted me to write them letters (mainly marius :P), and i
told them i wouldn't give them their letters unless they wrote
me! so here they are working away...after this, marius always had
a letter waiting for me every single time i went to the orphanage (and
even gave a letter to the one-month team there to give to me because he
found out they were going to run into me!!). and yes, thats my
name on marius' arm haha :)
we
threw a carnival while we were there, and the game i was in charge of
was called "pin the tail on the zebra/lion/hippo/monkey/giraffe"
(haha)...i was extra "mean" to razvan and marius by spinning them
around more than twice what i did to the other kids, so i let razvan
get revenge on me by letting him spin me around (and needless to say i
got spun around to the point where i couldnt stand and almost threw up
hahaha)
the three of us :) who's holding the football above my head??
and
finally, one last picture of marius and me! it was taken during
our huge ridiculous water fight, and if you can see he's still pouring
water on my head :P it's my most favoritest picture out of the
200+ that i took!
even more pictures can be found here,
but sadly my team never got to take a team photo :( i do have
200+ more of my own so ask to see my photo album if you'd like or feel
free to ask me more questions if you have any, i would love to share
more!!
if you made it this far - thanks for reading through!! and of course, this one
gets an extra special thank you - you cheered me on from the very
beginning, you wouldn't let me doubt myself or God's plans for me, you
encouraged me, prayed for me, hec you even came all the way to new york
to be at my apartment when i got home from the airport(!), didn't get
mad when i was so sleepy from the jet lag, and listened so patiently to
the 30-hour version of my trip that you unfortunately got (yes i know i
torture him :P). i AM the luckiest girl alive  |
