JJin717's Xanga

hey world

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 05:23:40 GMT

hey world wats up once again how u been. i been well i dont know i been goin insane latly like how does a person with pscho mind feel when they about to loose thier mind.. i just want know there just time when i feel like i about to just flip out grab a shot gun. and kill everyone on site.. u know what i missed i missed the old days when people had respect for one another an when can have real tallent to get to the top..but maybe thats just me.. sometimes i wounder why i still write on this site continue..

mind set today

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 01:31:51 GMT

mind is torch mind is scorch why has life been unsearch. have i been unappouch so i set here with my mind so blind. burning with hate with each step i take have i start to shake it must be part of my unmistakable art deppress is that me how can go on with really!! so i slowly feel like dying is that so sad when the caticulion of unillisuonal state of a uncircuse MIND leave me!! so i can trim back in time. as i look back is it really my time. noo never leave me so i can forget me with each passing time.....

Well Today

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 01:37:21 GMT

well today has been swell things seems to be a little better. i figured in my life if i don't do something to make it better nothing well As i soon see the results. But look at me now i got good jobs lol final keeping them though like alwas... surpise at my own self i really can't believe i am still writing on this trhing though its like my whjole life is in here really anyone can just go here and just read a shit load of crap about me its not like thats a bad thing its just who know if someone comes and finds me it can be very easy to find me... or thats how i would put it.. Now i would like to descuss my inforgetfull self sometimes the music controlls myself like now i was talking about jyslef and now i am talklin about something tottalyy different i don't know why but i can talk and tallk an never got nothing to say its such a crazy motional like a bee hummin into the mind and the spirit dwells into the motion unto the sun to the earth the mooin and skies slow devolupe a stimulation into the cells and consume ur intire bodie like a snake in a rat pit. But enough of that lets talk about myself me the properator of this story thge mind seeker the mibnd tender the world bender. I feel as though i am incontol and sometimes i feel like thje world is comming to a end whyu is that i don't know why its just i can feel like that how it is but who knows its just me typin here all by my lonesume and contuining to type here like i don;t got nothing to loose or nothing to gain its like a mind game to some and a loosiin game to none..,. byut i woul;d like to say that i don't know what is this all about blood gushin into the inders of a man and orgin of a women what kind of a mind is that ...someone might say that heellla of dulsional opr better yet a mind of a loser i am no looser what are u saying to me i don't know what is goin on i am like thinkin with my hands and not with my mind is that deluisional or that is jsut planned stupidy opf a suscidlye mind set...Well i lets just say that is tottaly true ok lets just say that i am, a GOD or a delusional person who has nothin to do with himself>>>............................ok i am starvin leavin now toodles

Dreamer

Wed, 28 May 2008 19:36:08 GMT

today i had a dream but before i talk about it...i would like to say that in my entire life i thought i can control my mind body and soul in my dreams. i thought i can say what i can say do what i can do...but the matter affect I come here today to say today was very different. Some people say's ignoreness is blitz's...you can ignor that the fact that there something wrong but you can not continue to ignor it....

I started on a train going somewhere i am not sure its a place where i need to go somewhere that it well change my life like a goal or somehting. There are people on the train like my friends family and my lovely girlfriend. So i look around the train it looks a like a regualar train like a NY city train. i slowly look around at the adds like a alwas do. I sharply looked at the specker box to hear the announcemnt "We should arrive there shortly". as the train slowly speeds down i started to stand up on those dirty train seats. I started to see the train slowly down further and further and till it stops i walk toward the exited door just like everyone else.....but something happens my instance kicked in i looked back on my seat and "o there is my bible and my house keys". as i slowly go back crunching between people to get my keys i finnaly got to my distanation. With my smile on my face i reach down and started to grab my belongings...."Ding Dong" something happens. I look around everyone left the door starts to close i run to the door with excilerating speed. but no matter how far i made it i miss my exite.

wake up... crazy dream i already know what it might mean or what is it about. i just refuse to believe so i guess... to tell you the truth i am having the same dream twice that never happen i never have the same dream its allwas different from the one yestarday or the day before......werid lol

today

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:28:43 GMT

today has been well i don't kinda boring...latly it seems as though i am in very deep thought constantly thinking and understanding, old an wise i feel i don't understand how life problem goes on there are times i would just sit there online and chat away and there are also times i just think and ponder what would it be like if i had money or being rich... there i wounder richness is such a curse in this world I wish we was back in the old days where people appracited what life is given to them.. like mines i had a terrible life an yet i feel understandable of how i over come a imppossible task... But i don't know thats just me pondeerin my mind a way... I would like to talk about poetry and music.. well poetry seems so beatiful there are times i write poetry and calmly smooth the music of that poem.. I don't understand it sometimes its just i right without rythem and it well sound like the most beautiful thing in the worl (well for me in that matter)... but thats enough for today i well write more when i get the chance to ........this is for those who understands wat goes on in my sadly mistaken head of mines

Love is Blind

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:19:29 GMT

Love is so many things these days

love can make you feel wanted and adored by another

love can be there when you least expected

I for once had love

But i let it slept out my hands

like water in the big blue

Sadly I come to realize

what is love

some people says 'Its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

sadly that goes so far until you start to fall...

So i figured this Love is many things take a shot and you well miss until you shoot with two eye's lol well maybe only then you well hit....

- This is from james the man who is and the man who an't -

Hey Everyone

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 00:23:58 GMT

I am still LovINg Xanga its so not crowed i guess... add a comment if you wanna

i realize

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 01:02:47 GMT

Today i realize alot of things. I realized that no matter what i do or what girl i date might end up. In tratagie. i try and try but i realize i can't do it anymore. In all actuallity if anyone most now, is that i only had about 5 girlfriends in my intire life. my first one we date and had sex never say each other after 3 months. 2nd girl was in elematry school had sex it was ok thats when i realize that girls arn't so bad they are actually pretty cool. she broke up with me in middle school. thats when i gave up i guess i just gave up next 18 yrs old i was i met a girl named ***** she was special aswome she was incridble we would do everything together.. i even her brong her to my house and meet my family or whats left of them. But soon after i realized that she had a boyfriend and he was in jail, after that i made her make up her mind it was all up to her. But she had choose her bf... that was a day of great saddness to me i felt that my world was about to end. .but i try not to let it get to me i really did... so soon after i met a girl i tried not to get to close but it was good she was aswome and very intellegent she might had some bad things in the past but we all have skeletons in are closet so we date and talk... and then i realize how little gifts i got her would make her cry or make her feel like it was the world to her.. I really like that, and i loved her for it so we dated and she moved with me and my stepdad house.. after a while we got tired of living there so we moved to are owned room. I was impress on how i got it but what matter was that she was there and i was there.... but all things must come to and end she started to do more thing and ignoring me as in if i wanted to go out she would stay on the computer allday and everyday. I tried to not let it get to me.. i have video games too and that can be addicting don't get me wrong i do pay attention to my girl....

TO BE CONTINUED

A Dream

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 18:59:25 GMT

My dreams are starting to get really boring for some reason i am having no nightmares anymore just stupid dreams. For instance i had a dream i went to the bathroom and went back to my room and fell asleep. OR how about this i went to class like i was just a regular day and eat like i alwas ...well what ever i was just bored so i typed this real QUICK

Love

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:03:45 GMT

My love is passionate
My love is promising
my love well alwas be for you
And never to be shared
So i love u for what i am and
all I would be
Don't worry about the way you are
or who you was
I love you for you
And i well strike down whoever
has a problem with it