ok yeah past week has been a major blurr. friday i went out 2 uno grill w/my mom and amanda k and my cuzin and then we went bak 2 my aunts and watched my baby cuz while they went 2 a party 4 like the 12 drinks of christmas but then i fell asleep and then my aunt stumbled in at like 3 in the morning drunk off her ass w/my uncle. it was so funny she offered 2 go warm uop the car my mom was like mmm no go lay down and shes like "i think im gonna get sick" so she went n2 the bathroom it was so funny but then saturday we were all goin 2 matts... ok so we were all over there having fun then matt started bn in a pissy mood... like not towards neone else but me. so i knew something was going on but evryones like no just go tlk 2 him but i didnt i guess and like yea my mom called saying a friend was in town and tht she needed me 2 babysitt my lil brother so she was pickin me up at 10. so its like 9:30 and me and katie r tlkn and matt comes in and katies like u 2 need 2 tlk. so we jsut sat there looking at eachother. and then evryone else came in so i went and sat my him. and so wer on the bed and elliott sits on the other side of me. so matt me and elliott r on the bed. and someone threw the covers over our head. so elliotts lookin at us like cmon guys do sumthing cuz we hadnt tlked all night. and so i guess we started kissing a little (shhhhh) and all the sudden i hear vince by the pool table say "hey rnt you jordans mom" i was like fuck! so yeah mom came in while we were getting up from the bed and she was pissed. so we get in the car shes like "wht the hell were you thinking!" and i wasnt tlkng shes like y dont u call ur father and tell him wat just happened. i was like y? shes like do what i said now! so i had 2 call my dad and tell him wht happend it was bad so then i got home and my mom went out w/her friend from outta town and i called evrybody at matts and yeah. so my mom said i was grounded form evrything including club 4 ATLEAST 2 weeks. i was like u gotta b kidding me. so she took my phone away yesterday and i was all deprssed at school. but i was looking 4ward 2 tlkng 2 matt after. i almost left school early tho cuz i didnt feel good but i stuck it out and got outta running in gym lol but its not like we evr run neways. so yeah me and sara dominated in badmitten. cuz we rock and wer sexy. and single. and o yeah by the way, me and matt broke up. i was lookiung 4ward 2 tlkn 2 matt but i got online he was on and he wants 2 break up. which is funny bcuz i was telling evryone 2day i thot we were going 2 but i didnt think it would b this soon. but idk he sais "its been a month and a half and i just like other people. and i like being single a hell of alot better" ok? o well but he knew he wanted 2 break up that night... and he told evryone there.... so why didnt anybody bother to tell me this? now i am grounded bcuz of this? ok if someone, ANYONE would hav said ANYTHING then i wouldnt b in trouble and i wouldnt hav had 2 deal with this crap! so yeah thanks alot guys! ur just fuckin great i know its not ur fault but still. seriously. and 2 top of this great night he asks me who i like...? ok we just broke up u think i like sumone else in what 2hours? so i told him no one. he didnt belive me and was like "cmon. u like someone. jsut tell me." i was like ok seriously no one. and me not wanting 2 b rude just had 2 ask him the question i didnt want to know the answer to. but i had 2 ask. the answer... hit me hard. i had no idea. i had never thought about it. and the answer...
was one of my best friends...
now that i look at it idk how i missed it. evryone else saw it. why didnt anybody care to tell me? "we didnt want to hurt you....but we all have known.... i dont know how much everyone else knew...but i knew" just great guys thanks alot.
again.
so while i was feeling depressed and down i wrote i poem like i used too. i just got done so ill work on it 2morrow at school and prolly come back and edit it a bajillion times. but i want to get it out and let go of evrything.
SRY! I TOOK THE POEM OUT CU YEAH IDK I GUESS ITS GOOD BUT IF YOU WANNA SEE IT JUST IM ME AND ILL SEND IT 2 YA!
idk give me ur feedback lol on it but if you dont like it u can tell me but honestly i wont care bcuz its out of me now and w/e. lol so yeah tell me the truth. i wont care. but even after your friends havnt been honest and done evrything you want right, you 4give them cuz thts what friends do. so im over it and im not holding any dumb grudges or nething agaist anyone, icluding the other girl. its not her fault. and i tlked 2 my dad bout what hapened 2nite. and i told im the flat out truth and thank god he belived me. he actually let me tlk and now he might let me off the hook at least a little. i xplained 2 him that i was in the wrong place at the wrong time thing and i relize that i cant let myself get in that position anymore and i do take the consequences bcuz i put myself in the position. unlike my mom who assumes she knows whats giong on and theres no other side 2 it. my dad said i need 2 sit down and tlk 2 my mom bcuz he said wer both thesame. we dont wanna listen to the other talk. so idk im thinkin bout it. so its after midnight and i cant sleep and iv got all this energy built up so i just got outta bed and did 400 crunches. i swear 2 god. my stomach is gettin hard, still 2nd best tho as long as sexy strudes is in town! lol so with all this going on i didnt get 2 work on my project at all. which is really bad but i guess ill deal w/it 2morrow so yeah i hav practice so i guess ill b home after that and i might feel like writing in here. if not sorry. but i gotta get some sleep.
X's & O's
Jay | 
which is saddening but we can reschedual i guess! hehe but yeah idk im really bored and havnt finished my algebra but i dont think i will cuz wer watchin a movie in first hour and i can do it then so yeah idk im downloading music (shhhhhh dont tell the FDA!) yeah idk what the fda is so it prolly makes no sense 2 someone tht does. oh well! i guess im gonna go cuz there is nothing to talk about xcept for the fact that i HAVE to b totally obsessed w/mr otte bcuz idk im attraced 2 dorks and he is supposedy a "huge dork" lol so yeah i will b back 2morrow night writing.
lol but hes a cutie (not michael lol) but yeah idk i havnt talked 2 him cuz i just got my computer working and i guess my dad rebooted the computer which isnt good cuz i had ALOT of pictures and music and crap saved and now its all gone AGAIN! i was yellin at him cuz he didnt tell me b4 he did it and so i couldnt save anything 2 a cd or w/e i was mad. but yeah 2day we totally DOMINATED eastgate! it was awesome the final score was 40-8 but it shoulda been 42-7 but the dumbass keeping score gave them one of our freethrows at the end so yeah i was happy we won and then i was excited cuz i spent all weekend sho[pping 4 new bedroom furniture and we finally found stuff yesterday. so my mom boughtmy vanity thing and my big dresser and then my dad was gonna come buy the bed 4 me and it all matched and it was exactly what i wanted. so last night wer there and my mom asked the guy if he had plenty of the bed in stock and he said "o yeah we got plenty" so my mom told him we were gonna come buy it 2nite. well we get there and theres a sold sticker on the sign of the bed. so my moms like mmm u told ud hav em in stock? and hes like well we did but other ppl must hav come in and bought em. shes like "ok 5 ppl came in and bought the same bed all 2day?" she was pissed and all they had was the floor model and we looked at it and it was scratched. i was like ok lets get it and my mom wouldnt get it cuz the guy would only giv us 20 bux off and it was xpensive and she didnt wanna spend good money there on a shity bed so we wnet and looked at some place in liberty and the guy said he could special order it so i might get it and then i go 2 panera bread and the guy there was givin me a hard time cuz i wanted a caramel expresso latte but i didnt want the expresso adn i didnt know how 2 wsay it but he nded up giving it 2 me free and my mom was sitting there laughing cuz she like "he wants 2 date you!?" i was laughing so hard it was so funny but yeah 2days tuesday? keela might spend the night saturday and we r prolly gonna go 2/brian 2 some church xmas party cuz he is just totally to die for! lol but yeah im gettin ready 2 go download some crap my dad deleted so i think i am going 2 go but b4 i do i must write about nick. hes my x boyfriend but he is totally awesome and i love him 2 death lol and he is very sexy and is a model 4 the Buckle (not really lol) but yeah i went out w/him this summer after lucas and yeah EJ hooked us up one night at the movies and idk what happened lol but hes a cute one and i love love love him? lol