"The only thing I look forward to during the week... is Saturday youthgroup." That means so much to me...
So, because of all this testing/block schedule thing, I've had a lot of free time at home. My dad left for somewhere, coming back Thursday I believe and he took the laptop (with all my games) for church stuff. So I'm stuck with this computer... But anything would suffice; I won't complain~
I'm assuming Xanga is dying? I rarely see people update. xD Everyone's sucked into the new-generation things (myspace, facebook, myface, spacebook, etc..) Oh well, I guess. Can't be helped... I'm just here, waiting for this school year to end. Myself, like others, need a break! So give us one! Ughhhh!
After being absent on Xanga, I leave with a short post. ^^;; Well... I'll have nice music for ya' guys~ Enjoy, this song's amazing!
[Gackt - Last Song (Piano)]
Translation:
I continued wandering aimlessly, all alone
A faint sigh painting a stroke of white
In the ephemeral nature of the changing seasons
Tears overflowed without any reason
"Even now I love you..."
The continually falling sadness changes into pure white snow
Through it all, I raised my head to the sky
Before this body disappears now, if my wish reaches you
Please hold me tight just once more
We didn't understand each other and hurt each other over and over again
Even at those times you were always kind
I cut myself on the suddenly surrendered ring
As our promises to each other were not granted
"Even now I remember..."
The fading memories are too brilliant as always
I wanted to be closer by
We can't meet again but you were always close to hold me up
Just you, don't change yourself
I can't erase those last tears you showed me
Even if I disappear along with this white snow
I want to always bloom in your heart
We held each other close don't forget that warmth
Even if you love someone else
I'll never let go of the sound the last I heard of your voice
I want to fall into a deep sleep
The continually falling sadness changes into pure white snow
Through it all, I raised my head to the sky
Before this body disappears now, if my wish reaches you
Please hold me tight just once more
As each day goes by, it feels like world is slowly crashing down. Nothing seems to go right ... nothing seems to go right with me. Day by day, I continue to fall on my face. The more it happens, the more I wonder whether You'll be there to pick me back up. I want to be stronger! Provide me with strength! Strength to encourage others, strength to help others. I look at myself and realize how unworthy I am, how messed up I've been. Why? Wherever I turn, things go wrong. I just- ... I feel like I'm going to break, Lord. How much more I can take, I don't know ... but I pray everyday for Your help, for Your guidance ... and I know You will provide, Lord, for You have always done in the past even though I haven't asked.
Everything that's been balling up inside me, I want to let it all out! To go up a mountain or an isolated area and just yelling! ... I'm being crushed; crushed by everything. I can feel the weight coming back; pushing me down; making me fall. Haven't I fallen already? Haven't I fallen too much?! Another obstacle? Another way to test my faith? If so, I'll be ready. The more I fall, the more I realize ... I'm not alone. I will endure and do everything to please You! I question and question, even question about things I already know the answers to. Patience! Patience is the key. Even though I fall, I know I'll get back up ... because of You ... and because of my friends.
So no more!! Push away all the troubles. Push away all the pain. I threw with it! I'm giving everything to you, Lord. Gonna lay it all down, for You! "Use me, Break me, Mold me, Make me more and more like You!" Just talking alone helps so much. It makes that heavy burden on my shoulders lighten. Thank Eric~ Thanks Everyone! I'll try my hardest. My passion ... I want to share it with you all! My passion of praise! My passion for God!Time to let it loose! Time to break free!
So i'm playing CS (Counter Strike) yesterday night. No work because of FCAT so I thought of relieving some stress by shooting a couple guys. Ending up with 200 - 60 (rounded). Anyways, the server I was playing on shows who joins the server, showing their game name. It was a certain name that grabbed my attention. Now, this is just some random server I play on so the chances of meeting someone I actually knew was really, really high. Pressing tab to check that persons name, it said '1337potato'. Now I only know one person who uses that name, and i'm pretty sure that person is the only one who uses it. So yeah, ended up being Jon (Crazy!). He tried to pwn me by switching teams but I had to go
( No, I am not posting this because of Klhee ..... xD ) With that said .... Happy Birthday to myself! Apparently people get mad when you don't tell them it's your birthday ><;; Lesson learned? Well, yeah. Got a dollar bill with my friends signature on it. Because he's like really good at golf, he told me that dollars' going to be work millions after 10 years. Hilarious stuff~ (I'll keep it ... just in case)
I'm so thankful ... for everyone, family and friends. Today wasn't the best of days ... but you all made it feel as if it was. You guys are the best. Wherever I go, i'll never forget any of you. The best present I could ever wish for ... would be your friendship. Thanks again ... everyone~
It's sad... Just thinking about it makes my heart ache.
How long has it been. Two years? Three? Just in that short time, I've grown so close, become so used to you being around. Thinking about it, you've actually become a role model to me. Someone I can look up too. Everyone has their faults, whatever they are....
Listening to sad music while writing isn't a very good idea... ^-^;; Anyways, it's just hard. First, you've become a great inspiration in my life. We've become like... best friends, brothers. I know I wouldn't be here right now as I am if you never helped me out in my life. Not only here physical, but spiritually too. I grew so much because of you.
The reason behind this situation is what hits me the hardest.... It's-...... It's hard. I can't put it in words.
There's still time though. And the future plans we talked about is going to be awesome! Thinking about this isn't really helping with my aching heart but- It's something that I can look forward to. So I guess I won't have to say "good bye....." Instead, i'll say "see ya soon"
