My Dear Readers,

In my search for monetary income, my mom has suggested that I submit articles to magazines with open submission. After a bit of research, I have discovered that there are many publications that offer open submission and pay decently, so I think I want to give it a try. While I don't have anything that's ready to be sent off right now, I do think I have some pieces that could be submitted after some modifications. This is where you come in. I'm asking my Xanga readers (particularly those of you who have been with me for a while) to chime in on which of my old Xanga entries (if any) could be transformed, with a bit of work, into something worth publishing, whether it be an article, a short story, a poem, or whatever. So if you have time and feel like perusing my archives, please let me know if anything jumps out at you. I have some ideas, and I've begun the process of sorting through the archives myself, but I'm particularly interested in getting some outside opinions on this. Also feel free to tell me that you think I'm a terrible writer and should just drop the idea entirely. I'm also considering submitting photos, so if you have any opinion on that, it would be appreciated as well.

I went to the Borghese Gallery today with one of Kristoffer's classes. It was pretty awesome. The best part for me was seeing all the Bernini sculptures. The man was an absolute genius. My favorite is The Rape of Persephone. (Disclaimer: I did not take these photos. Cameras aren't allowed in the Gallery. But I was so impressed by this sculpture that I found some images on Google so I could share.)


Obviously, the photo does it no justice, but check out this detail:


I mean, it looks real! Bernini managed to make marble look like soft female flesh. And just look at the veins in Hades' hands! Amazing.

A funny side note: While I was searching for the above images, I came across the lyrics to a song called "The Rape of Persephone" by a band called Hades. Kind of amusing. I was hoping the lyrics would be worth posting here, but sadly, they are not.

So, in other news, I'm feeling a lot better than I was. I spent most of the weekend recovering from my weird infection that was miraculously over as quickly as it began. But it definitely took a lot out of me. Anyway, that was part of the reason we didn't go on a Sunday adventure this week. The real reason is because Kristoffer has mid-terms this week, and he really needed to take the day to study. I was sort of sorry to break up our streak, but it was also nice to just spend a lazy Sunday at home after church. Next week is fall break. We've been planning on taking a short trip to Naples with some other friends of ours, but the time is close at hand, and we haven't really made any concrete plans, so I don't know if it will really happen or not. We also still have the problem of having no money whatsoever. But we're working it out. God continues to provide. Somehow.

I finished Jane Eyre on Sunday. Awesome book! Though now I can no longer truthfully sing "Common Knowledge". Props to you if you understand that reference.

Today I'm wishing for Cream of Wheat.

I'm feeling a little out of it today. I'm not sure why. I had kind of a long day yesterday but got plenty of sleep last night, so I don't know why I'm feeling kind of crappy. Maybe because I ran out of vitamins? I don't know.

I go through these phases where sometimes I feel like things are fine here and I know God is providing for our needs, and then there are other times when I feel weighed down by the burden and the responsibility of it all and have no idea how we're going to make ends meet. I guess today is more the latter.

I think what I'm struggling with right now is the temptation to just retreat into the comfort of our apartment and wait patiently until it's time to go home. It would be really easy for me to do that. Our place is far enough away from the city, and even far enough away from the center of town, that if I closed the curtains and never went out, I wouldn't ever have to see anyone or try to speak Italian except to go to the grocery store every now and then. Kind of depressing, I know. But it's amazing how tempting it can be to be reclusive. I guess you could say I've sort of made friends here, but all I think about is friends and family back home. And since I don't have a job, on the days when I don't have to be in the city for some reason, it's really easy to just sleep in really late and then not do much for most of the day. It's true that my days at home are mostly devoted to housework. But let's face it, I really spend most of the day killing time online. Killing time until the laundry's done. Killing time until the dishes are dry. Killing time until the sausages I took out of the freezer have thawed. Killing time until it stops raining so I can go grocery shopping. Killing time until Kristoffer gets home. Killing time until I can go home and once again have some purpose in life. Sigh.

I know I'm supposed to be taking advantage of this great opportunity to see Rome and "find myself" or something. I also know that many who read this are jealous and wish they could be in my place. Well, I hope this doesn't seem ungrateful or anything, but I wish I could be in your place. I don't think I've ever been this homesick in my life. Not even when I first went away to college. Certainly not when I studied abroad myself.

Don't tell me that it will get better (because you don't really know that it will). Don't tell me that you know how I feel (because you don't). And please, don't tell me not to worry about finding a job or making ends meet (because you would too if you were me). Just tell me that you miss me and that you wish I were there too. I think that's the only thing that could really bring me comfort. Just knowing that I'm missed too.