Yesterday was incredibly underplanned, so much so that most of the highgate wood lot already had plans :/ so lets just say that me, laksh and ben don't make the most exciting 3 together. I mean like idk, me and ashyy had loads of fun. but we had fields and kids playparks and loadsa stuff to talk about. cos like, he's one of my best mates :) but ben isn't tbh LOL

yeah so todays friday, and it's traff day woo! but like most of the highgate wood lot aren't coming cos of freddies gig, which i got invited to but only like yesterday when i already made plans to meet up with people in traff. so... nahh

and saturdayy, kahveh and lauriis party, 21st birthday :)

i said i'd bake kahveh a cake, even though when i do bake cakes they come out all sloppy and fall apart alot. i must check my myspace to see if he really wants his cake. cos otherwise he's gonna have to deal with a mountain of undercooked-lumps of cake. :/

so this weekend should be good :) and there's like 40 people going to the partyy XD and mikey metronomes doing a gig there and his music's just danceyy. Ima make people dance at the partyy :) i love to dance even though i can't do it that well :)

1. My Weight, obviously.

and 2. I always like guys, but like, they never like me back enough to go out, or i'm too young for them. ahaha

I'm losing weight, i know i am, people have noticed it over the past couple of weeks and tbh i think xanga helps me alot with that. I'm impatient, but not strong enough to starve myself. Like, what do you do instead of eat? Like for me, i find that being on the computer just helps and distracts me. And chores which i have to do. But like there's only one laptop in our house and my twin wants to use it and so does my mum. So like, my distractions are taken away. But in some ways i just find that eating less, going out and eating healthily helps quite a bit

The whole guy situation: I don't really like guys my own age, apart from this one guy... but i'll explain in a second. So, the older guys, first there's Brian, who's 22 and we just clicked. And he helps me out alot and stuff, cos he knows alot more about life than i do. But like, i don't really fancy him anymore tbh. Then there's Carvet, he's 20, going to be 21 next week and like he said he fancies me but just i'm 15, and if i was like 16, he would wanna go out. WELL annoying, my birthdays in october. !

And then there's arthur. he's 14. and well cute  he looks like a fitter version of Anders from Alphabeat. and like, i made out with him when i was on md, and apparantly i was his first kiss. I think this is what i need. Someone to settle down with. I'm thinking like, what do i have to lose by asking him out. So, i'm gonna do it, for the first time ahah.

Lets make this work

My Weekend

For those who can be bothered to read

Okay, so you all know what happened on Friday, Mdma . Best drug, overall. So Saturday, i went Camden Lock and it was just well dry. So i'm not gona write bout that.

Me Hema and Crissy went mine cos Chrissy accidentally scraped her heel along my tights while i was sitting down so i had like a fat hole in them. Then we drew pictures of eachother on my wall which was well jokes. I wish I could take a picture and show all yous lot. Then we left and met everyone at 9 at Tescos in trafalgar and made our way to Hyde Park. The bus journey was so funny, we was all just bare hyper and singing songs on the bus, we were either entertaining people or really pissing them off ahah, then we got off and walked through Hyde Park then decided to go Green Park to drink. and it was like pitch black there and Hema and Chrissy was just like proper scared ahaha.

After we left we were all quite drunk and we all went up Southbank. Me and Carvet sat and spoke alot. Then people came to sit with us and we was all like talking and joking and just generally having a good time. Then people wanted to go shop to buy more alcohol. That's when i found out all this stuff about Carvet (above) lol.

Then we went back up Southbank and like thsi boy William who was with us was getting bare pissed off cos his best mate Adam was walking off with the girl he liked. Last week it was someone else. This week it was Chrissy, then they just started fighting and Carvet and Laurii were just breaking them up and stuff. This all really sobred me up. Then they made up. OMG the pointlessness of that. Then we just drank some more. and went St James.

We were just cotching till like 6, then Laurii was like lets go Sanjays house, ahah, it was 6am. so we went and got a bus, in the opposite direction by accident. which was just a trek and a half. so we headed back up to Charing Cross, cos by this time the underground was running. We got a train to North Wembley and I fell asleep on the train, and i woke up to "what the fuck are you doing!" basically some man who was sitting next to Cravet while he was asleep put his hand on Carvets thigh ahaha. that was jahokes

then we went Sanjays house and we got drunk Again. I couldn't sleep and like was talking so much that i truly think i was pissing everyone else off. and then Carvet shut me up by kissing me LOL. then i needed to piss so i went and when i came back everyone was asleep. so i went to the garden for a fag. and like the dog was there and i started talking to the dog and i swear it was talking back. i was like "everyones gone to sleep, and you're the only person i can talk to" and then he said "don't worry, you can talk to me!" and started licking my hand. So i like talked to the dog for a bit. then went to sleep at about 10 am

Vixi woke me up at like 12. So we went out had fags, then went back into the bedroom and finished off the alcohol. so we got drunk again. we had another fag, went into the living room and all the boys were playing singstar. so me and vixi just sat there.

the rest isn't really that interesting so i won't be bothered to write it. Just: My sleep patterns fucked

rigghhtt my mood todayy, is kinda weird. I'm generally happy, but kinda peed off cos kayas like just left for portugal and i'm stuck in boring old england. but like i might be going there soon. :)

i got some really nice bras today from La Senza :D ones got rainbow stripes on it and the other has some rainbow flowers on it, oh yeah, and england underwear ahaha, cos you all wanted to know that.

i acidentally got strawberry yoghurt on kayas suitcase :S cos i threw it on the floor and it bounced. this was when we went to visit harry at his w/e. he has a spot on his face and it was so alive we called it norman, but harry killed it. we even bought a yoghurt for norman. but now he's dead :( well gutted

Intake: some brown stuff (not shit) / mango / yoghurt

yeahh, i cba to write what i eat anymoree