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Name: Jared


Interests: Growing and maturing in the loving arms of my Saviour
Expertise: Wierd, I never knew I had any...


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AIM: jaredwerks
MSN: jk3d
Yahoo: mayawerks


Member Since: 9/7/2005

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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I am reminded yet again of my pride, and how I have decieved myself into lowering my view of the awsome majesty of Almighty God.
You can feel it well up in your heart and form a solid block, and I hate it.
Yet I embrace it.

All sin at it's roots is pride. We are told that the sublties of pride can be deadly, but is not the obvious pride no better? When you begin pouring your heart out to somone, waxing eloquent in the scriptures and showing your knowledge behind a veil of humility. You may truly even be feeling humble for the moment, but then the person expresses they are impressed. And you like it.

Would a true servant hear that and harden their hearts with the self righteousness that wells up when they are given a compliment? If they truly had a grasp how big God is, and how small we are, would they think for a moment that they are even worthy of the praise? Or would it just add to their 'spiritual ego?'
I confess, I am guilty. Even in the writing of this I have felt a measure of pride.

And it all comes back to a heart condition and focus. I had unconciously in my prayers began to feel like I was coming before a buddy, not before almighty God.
Too many times we try to put these rules on ourselves to correct our sinfulness (e.g. I won't do this I won't do that). But it's a heart issue! If I had truly been loving Christ the way I should would I have sinned? Don't get me wrong, we have to be at concious and constant war with our sin, but the war is so much easier when you know what your fighting for.

Something that has also convicted me is my true dedication to Christ. We claim Him as Lord, and enjoy studying His word and praying. But it is almost like another subject in school that we enjoy doing. But is it our passion?
It's not just an option. So often we (I) are satisfied that we claim Him as Lord, and understand that He needs to be Lord of our life and that it is commanded. But I ask, what does a servant do? All day he serves his Master! It's not an option, it's our calling and commitment. We have the relationship of a servant to God, but need to work as a slave. That might almost sound tyrranical, but what a joy it is to be a slave of God.

"Love Jesus and do what you want." - John Calvin

-Jared




Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Here are two Poems I have written, the first was for my dads graduation, and the other just sort of came from my heart:

Graduation Poem

 

 

Since before the dawn of man and the twilight of the sun

A plan has been formed by the almighty one

To choose His own for His glory

Now to describe one's life; ‘tis only a sentence of the story

 

The life of my father had truly begun

When he started the race many have run

To sprint down the straight and narrow

With all his heart, his soul, his marrow

How to describe this man of God?

To trace his footsteps in which he has trod?

To write it in words, with ink and hand

The life of a servant at his Lord's command

And so I attempt in my feeble writings

To describe his heart, and why he is fighting.

 

A man of God is among the rarest of things

But this is my father, what joy it brings

To follow this leader, and be led by his hand

Ponder with me, so you might understand

 

The heart of my father is like the dew under the sun

Reflecting the brilliance of the all seeing One

But even the grandeur of the diamond crystal clear

Can only be seen by the light which it hears

The soul of this man, brilliant and bright

Reflects His Savior; the majesty of His light

 

And have I ever been weary, down trodden soul?

If this I have felt then I should know

That soon I shall be in my fathers loving arms

Keeping me from danger, protecting me from harm

 

For even in the firmness of my fathers rebuke

I see my Saviors love, which he has never forsook

Have I mentioned, dear reader, of when he prays?

Of how it stirs the heart to follow his ways?

How his voice rages when he reads The Book

As though the winds had died, and the thunder he took

 

But all this I write, that all you may see

The passion of my father, and what he would plea

That even in the celebration of his graduation day

We would look to the Savior, and His glorious way.

_______________________________________________________________



Soul of the Convicted

A poem inspired by Ezekiel 33

 

Forgive me, for I have slain the innocent

The blood of thousands are on my hands.

Thousands tormented from the silence of my tongue

 

Forgive me, for though I am no longer dead

I don’t feel truly alive

 

Forgive me, for I have mocked death

As a hand in the wind, so is a man and death

Grasping but cannot hold

While thousands are burned at my hand.

 

Forgive me, for I have become god

Thinking my vain ambitions as something beyond the heavens.

I have change the incorruptible image of Almighty, into myself

Corrupted man

 

Forgive me, for I have pierced the heart

And crushed the fragile

Those who have needed help, I have trodden upon

With my tongue, I have stabbed in the dark

 

Forgive me, for I have destroyed a legacy

Which I have been commanded to live

Trading the legacy for something forgotten tomorrow

Forgetting those who gave their tomorrow, so I could have today

 

Forgive me, for I have lied

A life commitment thrown as ashes into the wind

Forgetting Him who saved me

 

Forgive me, for I have laughed

For while others are in torment, I have been joyous

While others cry for help

I have continued to live

 

Forgive me, for though I live,

I have forgotten life

 

Forgive me, for I have killed

I have the hammer in my hand

Crucifying yet again my Master

 

 

Forgive me, for I am the convicted soul



Thursday, May 11, 2006

I just read this in the Bible, and looked some stuff up on it. I found this (online) to be a helpful reminder:

"Do Not Arouse or Awaken Love Until It So Desires"

We have no right to develop and nurture the emotion attraction that we call love until we make a life-long commitment to serve. The expression of this emotion before the time is right has given many people a broken heart.

“Do Not Arouse or Awaken Love until It So Desires”

The red felicities of love
Can launch your heart into the sky—
But caution is required above,
’Cause you need wings before you fly;

Don’t pluck the lovely, tempting flower
Until you hands are trained to serve—
When time is right, your heart will soar,
And reach the heights that love deserves.


So, whats been going on in the Johnson Family.

Well we are moving to VA to help in a church plant. Or rather my dad is going to be pastor of the church that is being planted :)

I recently started getting involved in Wednesday night High School Bible study. It's really great, especially after the preaching you go into 'small groups' with your small group leader and talk about the lesson, and what we are struggling with, then we pray. It is extremely encouraging.

But I could really use everyone prayers because I have gotten like 4-5 friends since I have been going there, knowing I am going to be moving soon. It saddens me to even write about it.
I greatly look forward to the ministry opportunity in VA. But I also wish we could stay here another year. I feel I have so much more to grow in, and I am in the perfect place to nurture that growth. I know God has a purpose in all things, but it's hard to feel that when it causes pain.

Started reading C.J. Mahaneys book on humilty. I really like him alot :)

So I would ask some prayer:
That I would not compromise at work
That I would truly seek my joy in Christ, and not get so distracted.
I haven been experiencing a lot of pride in my life lately, pray that I would be broken and humbled.
Pray for the general stress of moving.
Pray that I would be a friend a friend would want to have, and that I would live everyday like I was dying.


Friday, April 28, 2006

Good Sermon

ok for real, I plan on typing something significant soon.

But I got this really good sermon our High School Pastor, Eric Bancroft, preached a few a week ago I wanted you all to hear.
I compressed it to 7.14MB for you Dialup users
Right-click link, click "Save As," that way it does not use too much bandwidth server, and you can listen to it on your own computer :)

http://www.cgcrafter.com/1MeasuringMaturityLOW.mp3



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