| | I am reminded yet again of my pride, and how I have decieved myself into lowering my view of the awsome majesty of Almighty God. You can feel it well up in your heart and form a solid block, and I hate it. Yet I embrace it.
All sin at it's roots is pride. We are told that the sublties of pride can be deadly, but is not the obvious pride no better? When you begin pouring your heart out to somone, waxing eloquent in the scriptures and showing your knowledge behind a veil of humility. You may truly even be feeling humble for the moment, but then the person expresses they are impressed. And you like it.
Would a true servant hear that and harden their hearts with the self righteousness that wells up when they are given a compliment? If they truly had a grasp how big God is, and how small we are, would they think for a moment that they are even worthy of the praise? Or would it just add to their 'spiritual ego?' I confess, I am guilty. Even in the writing of this I have felt a measure of pride.
And it all comes back to a heart condition and focus. I had unconciously in my prayers began to feel like I was coming before a buddy, not before almighty God. Too many times we try to put these rules on ourselves to correct our sinfulness (e.g. I won't do this I won't do that). But it's a heart issue! If I had truly been loving Christ the way I should would I have sinned? Don't get me wrong, we have to be at concious and constant war with our sin, but the war is so much easier when you know what your fighting for.
Something that has also convicted me is my true dedication to Christ. We claim Him as Lord, and enjoy studying His word and praying. But it is almost like another subject in school that we enjoy doing. But is it our passion? It's not just an option. So often we (I) are satisfied that we claim Him as Lord, and understand that He needs to be Lord of our life and that it is commanded. But I ask, what does a servant do? All day he serves his Master! It's not an option, it's our calling and commitment. We have the relationship of a servant to God, but need to work as a slave. That might almost sound tyrranical, but what a joy it is to be a slave of God.
"Love Jesus and do what you want." - John Calvin
-Jared
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| | Posted 5/23/2006 5:39 PM - 2 views - 9 comments
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