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| so i've been praying about going back to school, but with all my money
problems i didn't know if it'd be even possible. But just to see
what God can do 3 weeks ago i made an appointment with a counselor to
talk about my ed-plan and financial status. I sat on the couch
mostly discouraged because my appointment was at 2pm, and i knew that i
can't afford college or books, but Becky encouraged me... (told me,
"Jason you better go today!") to just see what God's will may be.
As i sat in the waiting room i realized how much i really missed going
to college. Its been 3 yrs since i attended this community
college and so much has changed, it made me excited to do summer school
and then classes in the fall. And then hopefully I'll have my
Associates Degree finished and i can transfer to the university.
Dr. Zepeda listened to my story and then took out the AA requirements
check list. As he looked at my transcripts, he began to
smile. Then he stood up, reached out his hand and said,
"Congratulations!" So turns out i earmed my Associates Degree
after my 2002 semester, but for some reason the paper work wasn't
filed, so i was never informed of it.
So yea, today i found out that i no longer need to attend the community
college, because i've already finished my pre-requisites. So i
will attend Cal State San Bernardino in the Fall, transferring in as a
Junior with an AA.
Because i will be 24yrs old in August, FAFSA says i'm an independent of
my parents and that i'm a poor kid, which means i will be eligible for
pretty much all kinds of financial aid. And theres a good chance
i might be able to start substitute teaching as soon as next year.
.. i stand in awe...
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| A week ago i lost my wallet... its still gone.. but i want you to know why i'm thankful for losing 700 dollars, all forms of identification and all that other stuff.
One of the first thing i learned is that my wallet was far too important to me. How can something small enough to fit in my back pocket have such a huge impact in my life? Something that weighs less than a pound that can definitely ruin a whole day and make me question God's will is definitely something that i should be able to do without. Something so small that doesn't even have an attractive personality or serve any purpose besides storing my meek worldly treasures definitely should not be able to effect the reason God put me on the earth: to glorify Him. God wants all of me, all my gifts come from him, belong to Him and He is just letting me borrow them, and if I become selfish or depend on them more than Him, i don't think i should be trusted with it till i learn to be more responsible with what He has entrusted me with. So yea, i learned that lesson.
I next learned that i see through Jason-tinted glasses. As much as i am patient, willing, and humble ...... psssh... yea right.... I stinkin want things my way. I have my own set limits on what i think are okay and what things are intolerable. I have a certain view on how i think things should be, and yea, i'm always willing to bend and flex 5-10% in either direction as long as its not for an extended period of time, but if its more than that or longer than that i'm not so happy. I'm alive, i made it to work today just fine, i spent the weekend with my awesome little brother, we went to church where i got to see my beautiful girlfriend... wallet shm-all-et... i don't need it to a blessed and loved man.
I also learned that God uses me to help others. Some people haven't learned these lessons yet, some people really need to, and some people never will. But whatever the case, seeing me get through it, and in the end be thankful for my struggles shows to them the strength of God. Its definitely not me, i can preach to Becky the need to be dependent on God in all avenues of life, to trust Him with all things, and not to worry about money and taking care of a family some day.. etc (not like i'm even doing it much) but I'm glad that God gave her a wake up call through me losing my wallet instead of a similar thing happening to her. Does that make sense? I pray that everyday in some way or another i'm bringing her closer to God. The same goes with my little brother... we had some really awesome chats this weekend.
So like my car breaking down, and turning out to be a very minor repair... and i could have stressed a lot less about it... the same goes with losing my identification cards. DMV - 35mins, Social Security Office - 15mins, Bank to Cancel my Credit/Debit Card - 5mins, Learning my life is back in line in less than one hour... priceless.... Yeah, i don't know, something like that.. just not that big of a deal.
Lemme think... perhaps theres more.. but just can't think of it now. But i definitely know that i feel closer to God tonight than i probably have the past couple sunday nights. Becky and i chatted after church today and we both felt the same way.. as she worded it, "Things feel right, like its the way its supposed to be.." We've both felt mixed up and struggled with our walks with God lately... but this morning seeing her beautiful in her new yellow dress, singing Every Move I Make, being in church with Matt on my other side.. and just so many other just awesome God stuff.. we felt His presence and His smile upon us. I may be the poorest man today but i'm definitely not broke.. not by a long shot. :)
Ecclesiastes 12 (The Message)
Honor and enjoy your Creator while you're still young,
Before the years take their toll and your vigor wanes,
Before your vision dims and the world blurs
And the winter years keep you close to the fire.
In old age, your body no longer serves you so well.
Muscles slacken, grip weakens, joints stiffen.
The shades are pulled down on the world.
You can't come and go at will. Things grind to a halt.
The hum of the household fades away.
You are wakened now by bird-song.
Hikes to the mountains are a thing of the past.
Even a stroll down the road has its terrors.
Your hair turns apple-blossom white,
Adorning a fragile and impotent matchstick body.
Yes, you're well on your way to eternal rest,
While your friends make plans for your funeral.
Life, lovely while it lasts, is soon over.
Life as we know it, precious and beautiful, ends.
The body is put back in the same ground it came from.
The spirit returns to God, who first breathed it.
It's all smoke, nothing but smoke.
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| I know i've said it before.... but God definitely has a different perspective on how much i can handle than He does.
We fixed my car after staying up till nearly 3am thursday morning. It turned out to be a minor electrical problem that nothing but 2 rolls of electric tape was able to fix.
I got my paycheck, but since my account is still in Jesus writing (which means its in the red) and i wanted to wait till i paid my most important bills first before repairing my bank account i went to Wal-Mart to cash my 700 dollar paycheck. Definitely the most money i've seen in a very long time and with it i was going to be out of debt for the first time in 3 months.
But then i got a flat tire
To me that nail in my tire was like the nail in the coffin. Like it wasn't that huge of a problem, looking back at it now... but after the frustrating week i had and finally Becky and I had a night to go out to a nice restaurant and get all prettied up, getting my tire fixed just made me angry. In a quick rush i took out my wallet picked out 2 quarters to turn on the air compressor so i can limp my car down the street to the tire repair place. It was 6pm and i know that it closed at 6, so not only was t'oed about my tire but i had to rush before it closed... and looking at my watch i knew that our night wasn't going to turn out as i had planned. We hopped back in our car drove down the street to the tire repair shop. As he finished up with my tire i realized i no longer had my wallet. I had left it back at the gas station... and by the time we were able to get back to retrieve it... it was gone.
So now, my wallet, license, credit card, social security card, 700 dollars and all the sentimental cards and pics that i had in it... is gone. The nail in my tire just doesn't seem that big of a deal anymore...
Its a bit more hard to be thankful for this situation. But i'm trying my best. I know that we did the best to find my wallet, we did all that we could. If I'm to have it back.. its up to God.
I've still got my health, and my girlfriend. I can drive my car illegally until i can get the money together to replace my license. Becky loaned me 20 dollars so i can have the gas to get to work today, so i can be thankful for that.
I went to church today and just cried and cried. This is the most vulnerable and afraid i can remember feeling in a long time. He's got all my attention, it doesn't seem like i need to re-learn the lesson of poverty and shame and inability to be independent. What is He teaching me? What is the purpose of this? His Word promises me that He'll never give me more than i can handle... but please God... this is tough.
Will you pray for me? | | |
| I used to be a student at CCCB... my name is Jason.. i was the other redhead.
In other news my car broke down today. Well actually perhaps the word for this situation is my car gave up today. For about a month now I've known that my radiator fan was going out. It started with a small vibration, then a clunky gonna fall apart sound, then a clicking that i was told sounds much like some very unhappy hungry squirrels. Well today on the way to my temp job i smelled burning, but wasn't sure it was my car.. until it stalled. So yea, the electrical motor finally fried.. i was really rootin i'd get it through the week.. because friday was my "light at the end of the tunnel" ... but eh, what can you do?
As i allowed my car to roll into the staff parking lot of a nearby school, locked the doors and began to walk. I made it all but 2 miles safely to work. It could of gave in anytime earlier and i wouldn't have been surprised, this just wasn't a surprise to me i guess. But God has a plan for me today, and how much does anxiousness and stress add to my situation.. ? a whole buncha nothin.' So i called up my job, someone picked me up and took me the rest of the way. I'm thankful.
1. I'm thankful that the wires waited to melt till i made the 4,500 ft elevation climb drive to work. If it would have died on the way up.. it could have been really dangerous.
2. I'm thankful that when it did die, i was able to easily roll to a safe parking spot.
3. I'm thankful that i'm not the only person working tonight, so i have a ride home tonight.
4. I'm thankful that the past week or so the guy i'm working with has been slowly building an "I owe you one, Jason" account with me because i've been hookin him up with some computer upgrading and repairing.
5. I'm thankful that he went to school to be a mechanic for a year after high school.
6. I'm thankful that my job employees many men who enjoy rebuilding cars, and since we are all technically unemployed with nothing new and exciting to do, perhaps my car will be an exciting project.
7. I'm thankful that i get a paycheck on friday so i can buy the parts needed to get my car back on the road.
8. I'm thankful that for some reason i was scheduled last week with tomorrow and wednesday off... so i have a little bit of breathing space to figure out how to get to work on thursday.
9. I'm thankful that i'm reading the book i listed above. I really think that everyone should really really read it. I started it last night and finished it 20mins ago.
10. I'm thankful that my cell phone works in this part of the mountain.
11. I'm thankful that my job has internet so i can be online and type all this.
I'm also thankful that all my toils, labors, struggles, hugs, laughs, bonuses, and adventures are not rooted under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 1) That instead i can be thankful for these times. (James 1)
If today was the last day of my life and the Lord came for us, i know that He would be happy to see me, and I would be happy to see Him. But if I were to wake up in the morning, i will be pleased to know that His angels were watching over me as i slept and that he has something equally amazing set aside for me.
Today is monday --- Anyone who finds time to read this... i really want you to read Hebrews 6. Its much more incredible, enjoyable, and better worded than my thoughts on today.
Your Father loves you a lot you know :) And if you think that today was rough, imagine how much more difficult it would have been if he wasn't lookin out for you. | | |
| Local
News
CEDU School Declares Bankruptcy
Local Business and Dozens of Employees Affected
By Michael P. Neufeld
"How can they do this to
kids?" questioned CEDU employee Bill Miller from Running Springs
reacting to Friday's surprise announcement the 75-acre campus was
closing.
CEDU Education is closing CEDU High School and CEDU
Middle School in Running Springs effective immediately. The two
emotional growth-boarding facilities are among seven facilities closed
by the division of The Brown Schools based in Palm Beach, Florida.
"We
anticipate all our students will be back in the care of their parents
in the next 10 days," according to CEDU Education CEO Pete Talbott. "In
the meantime, the student's safety and making this transition as easy
as possible is our priority."
Talbott's statement, issued from
Sandpoint, Idaho last Friday continued, "I deeply regret we have come
to the end of CEDU's nearly 40-year history. Our schools have meant a
great deal to our students, our staff and their communities."
Talbott
blamed the closures on the financial insolvency of the division
indicating the firm had "run out of options for keeping the emotional
growth education system viable."
"It's very sad," Miller stated
as he prepared to depart the campus Easter Sunday morning. "We had a
very tearful meeting Saturday morning and told the middle school
students CEDU was closing. One girl wiped away tears and told staff
members 'but I don't want to go home.'
"I really loved the CEDU
environment," Miller stated, "and we were able to do wonderful things
for the kids." Miller, who has lived in Running Springs most of his
life, had been employed at CEDU for just under seven years.
"In
addition to not being paid for the past few weeks of work," Miller
reported, "I had accrued about two months of vacation time." As tears
streamed down his face, Miller was more concerned for the students than
he was his own uncertain future.
"A decision by the board to
file for bankruptcy has a dramatic impact on each and every one of our
students," Miller said as he climbed into his car and drove past the
CEDU sign that read, "To Dream the Impossible Dream."
"We
brought the children in before breakfast at 8 a.m. Saturday and sat
them down and explained to them the school was closing," according to
former counselor Skip Borg. "Some of the children were fearful of going
home and getting back into what they were doing before coming to CEDU.
NO PAYCHECKS
"The
managers were told by phone about the closing at 4 p.m. Friday," Borg
added. "Staff was told individually by their immediate supervisors.
That phone call was supposed to tell us when our paychecks were going
to be there but ended up telling us they weren't going to pay us and we
basically lost everything we had coming to us."
The 19-year
resident of Arrowbear, who had worked at CEDU two different times, was
involved several years ago in the closing of the Kaiser Steel plant in
Fontana. "At least, they were honorable enough to pay us," Borg said.
... Patience with others is Love, Patience with self is Hope, Patience with God is Faith...
This is what faith feels like sometimes. I know
God already has a job chosen for me, He already has a way out of this
mess, He already the answer and has it all worked out. I just
don't know what it is yet...
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