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| Announcing Little LeviThe baby finally came! He came Thursday, May 29th at 1:50pm. He weighed 8lb 5 oz, and was 21 inches long. Labor was 12 hours, pushing only 20 minutes (20 very intense minutes, but only 20, thank the Lord), and everything went very smoothly. Without going all into it, it was an answer to prayer, both in timing, intensity, the health of my body and the baby. We had him in the bathtub of our bathroom and it was all a great experience. The Lord was so faithful every step of the way. Baby is hungry so i gotta cut this short, but more details later. Love ya'll!    
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| So...... for all those wondering, I still haven't had the baby yet. SHEESH!! I was way off on my due date. I calculated it like everyone else adn their mother does, I guess my body is just a little weird, and who knows when I'm really due. I could go any day now. I just know we'll see him on his ordained day, and until then, I'm tryin to be patient waiting. But on the upside, we are settled into our new house now! It only took about a week and a half of 14 hour work days until 2 am moving, settling, cleaning, unpacking, etc, but we are in adn it is home now. Just have to finish putting up a few decorations here and there. So, at least one phase is over before another one hits... So, if you're reading this, pray the kiddo comes soon. Mom just arrived today, and last time, she missed judah's birth. Came and left and he came about 2 weeks after she left. Pray this one comes while she's here or before she leaves for good, so she can meet little levi. Other than that. All is well! We are doin great, and the Lord has been so faithful to tend to the tiniest details of this move, finances and otherwise. I am grateful. I know his faithfulness to details won't falter as we wait for the baby. Perhaps we should pray instead that I would be at rest and be patient. :P Ok, goodnight! | | |
| fascinating...Fascinating little truth about what was keeping me from walking in my calling/gifts: For about a year the Lord has been speaking to me about faith/belief. Not just the vague "I believe in God" or "yes, I have faith in God" but the kind of faith that moves mountains. The faith the Word talks about, not just what the church throws around. Many times in the original use of the word "faith" in the bible, it actually means "Full persuasion, total confidence, absolute certainty". The Lord has been speaking to me about how much whether or not I have full confidence in Him and his word is the determining factor of whether or not I see the promises of the Word manifested in my life. Recently, he tied that to me walking in the calling and anointing that's on my life. See, the Prophets will come in town and they almost always confirm and declare about this strong prophetic mantle on my life, and how I'm called to walk in the office of the Prophet, training up the Body of Christ, etc, etc. They share the great things they see residing in me, and in my destiny, but when they leave town, I find myself wrestling and struggling with insecurities, intimidations and uncertainties within myself about the very things they declared and confirmed. Now, its not that what they are saying is way off. I see what they are saying as being reflected in my heart, thoughts, tendencies, personality, etc, but its as though this weird false humility/insecurity would creep up and convince me, "maybe I'm not really all those things" or "I'm really not ready to walk in that, I need a lot more refining" or whatever. Now, granted, there is definitely seasons of training and refining, but I was shrinking back due to intimidation rather than truth. Then I would ask the Lord, "Lord, why aren't I seeing visions and things like I used to? Why aren't I getting prophetic words for our youth kids and friends and family of mine like I used to?" Then the Lord smacked me in the face with a simple but profound truth: "Because you aren't BELIEVING the word of the Lord about your life." You see, if we believe like the Word talks about, that firm pursuasion inside of us is always echoed in our actions. Its never just inward and not outward. Belief/faith is a two-fold thing. Inward confidence manifesting in outward action. Hmm. I know that what the Prophets and ministers have said about me is true. Everywhere I go they say it. I see it inside of me. But I was letting unbelief and fear come in and steal my confidence. SImply put, I wasn't choosing to be fully persuaded that what the Lord had said about me again and again was true. I was second guessing, stepping back, shrugging responsibility, taking up an "I'm not ready so I'll step aside" position when the Lord has clearly given me a circle of influence to be faithful with. Now, granted, I am not some great and seasoned prophet ready to go travel the nation. THat's not my season, and in truth I don't believe that the Lord is even releasing me for that level of ministry yet. However, he HAS given me a sphere of influence within my church and youth group where people do recognize and receive the calling that's in me, but because of untruth, unbelief, and fear in me, I was not choosing to allow the Lord to work out the gifts inside of me and cause them to be matured by use and training. Its hard to explain. But it was easily masked because my intimdiation seemed to me like a form of caution, wisdom or even humility. But when its not in line with TRUTH, which is God's perspective, its not those things. It was exposed for what it was, and that was that it was coming out of unbelief, fear, false humility and intimidation. Does this make sense? So, bottom line being, in order to begin even walking in your gifts in the remotest sense, you have to believe that the things that have been confirmed as your gifts have been given to you to be fiathful with and to be used, so that they might be matured and sharpened for the use of the kingdom. If you don't even believe in what the Lord has called you, and placed within you, and don't believe that he wants to use those gifts, you will never grow or mature in them. Our spiritual senses are sharpened with use. Our gifts are matured with use. We must be faithful, given one or ten talents, we must prove faithful with the situations the Lord DOES put before us if we want to see him enlarge our sphere of influence and impact for the Kingdom of God. And that all comes down to: who/what are you believing? The voice of insecurity and intimidation, the voices of others' opinions and limiting remarks, or the voice of the Lord? Ps- this doesn't mean go out on the street and start a tent revival. It means, be faithful with the places he has given you to exercise your gifts for the benefit of others, and he will enlarge your places of influence as you prove faithful and your gifts are matured. I Peter 4:10-11 "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." | | |
| "oh help it!" (with a Texas accent)Well, the wonderful, beautiful, thought-it-was-the-one house that I posted all the pictures of, turned out to be a crapper. :( It was the Lord's goodness, though, that it had rained hard the night before, which helped make it far easier for the inspector to see problems with the house. To sum it up, various patch-work coverups to the brick work, which reflected foundation problems, the house was sinking, and termite damage in 3 major walls made for a no-go buy. I am grateful for the discovery of those things, though, before it was too late.
Sooo, we're back to square one
But, you know what? Its funny that phrase "The counterfeit always comes before the real thing" has been wafting through my thoughts all week, now it makes sense why.
I know that regardless how I may FEEL right now (belly about to pop with a baby due to be born at home any day now) I know the Lord will not leave us homeless adn will provide us with a GOOD home which will be a blessing to us. Just waiting blindly and patiently can be trying. I have to continue to remind myself what a good God He is, at times.
:)
On another note, our baby shower was today. Nobody showed. Well, my wonderful hostesses were there, and about 3 or 4 other friends came. Out of 70 or more invites. Not even family came. I would be lying if I said I didn't fight back some tears and disappointment. I am sure people had good reasons for not coming, I was just looking forward to aroom full of people ready to celebrate with me what I am so excited about! But, then again, I guess proverbs doesn't say for no reason, "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy." I could tell Tracy was disappointed too. I felt badly for her. I know she wanted it to be such a treat for me, adndshe really wanted to see a bunch of people there. She put so much work into it! Oh well... guess that's how it goes sometimes. I do have to say, though, considering the circumstances, it was all a bunch of close girlie friends that came, which made it a fun and casual time.
We had great food, and the room looked great! It was refreshing just to be around my girlfriends whom I don't often get to see all in one place, so in that way, it was still a real treat for me :)
Anyways, that was the last couple days in a nut shell. A few disappointments, but hope in a good God who knows best, and has already made preparation for our provision, my faith is simply being drawn to a place of perseverence. Well, as this little guy wiggles around in my tummy making it toss back and forth like something out of alien, good night to you all.
Thanks for reading! | | |
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