| | Things I Learned this Summer1. Two jobs at once is a very bad idea. You'll constantly end up
refusing both because the other one booked you first, and develop two
reputations of unreliability.
2. The worst kind of a ball pit is an inflatable one. Especially when
you are the one in charge of preventing floods of balls every time a
child squishes down the edge to slide back onto the grass. And of
cleaning up the results of an indifferent coworker's filling your spot
while you were on break.
3. Ayn Rand's books exist solely to beat you over the head with idiotic
philosophy. (Dedicated selfishness as the height of nobility? Give me a
break.)
4. How to operate a two-line phone. (without manual or instruction.)
5. The history of the OPC.
6. Government workers are incapable of turning out simple prose that
means what it's meant to mean or has even a semblance of flowing
properly.
7. It's amazing how much furniture is free by the side of the road if you pay attention.
8. The kind of company picnic that overflows with free catered food,
sand art, cotton candy, sno-cones, popcorn, airbrushing, and carnival
game prizes produces incredible greed in people. Let's not even get
into the ones that involve beer and wine.
9. If there is cotton candy in heaven, it will be made in hell. Or by
someone who enjoys molten sugar embedded in her shirt, arm hair, and
braid. Not to mention blue sugar eyelashes.
10. Using gunpowder Pop-its instead of rice is a very bad idea at a
wedding, no matter how many times you admonish people not to throw them
on the carpet or the bride's train.
11. Greek salad is delicious.
12. I am not interested in living alone.
13. Sunscreen really is important. Especially when you spend 5 hours in
the sun in a polo shirt with the top button undone. V-shaped necklaces
burned into the skin severely limit clothing options.
14. Kids listen when I shout.
15. Steel-toed boots look dumb with skirts.
16. I hate applying for jobs.
17. An ankle length denim skirt is not the best attire for tug-of-war and potato sack races.
18. A credible dinner for 8 can be produced in 30 minutes.
19. The maximum number of pictures my memory card can hold is 662. At least when 3 of them are videos.
20. Anything with Denzel Washington in it is worth watching.
21. Turtles don't fly.
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| | Posted 8/5/2007 12:15 AM - 7 comments
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