ROLLERCOASTER Today I snoozed in for thirty-four minutes after my alarm went off. I hate waking up knowing I have an elongated day ahead. So, to start off my day; I rushed myself to school so I can print out my old essay from last year to turn in as a draft for my English class this quarter lol… it should be okay given that it was about the same topic. Basically it saves me time that I don’t have. Before I went to work I grab starbucks on campus; white chocolate mocha with an extra shot and to top that off with whip crème. Yummy, it kept me up from the super hectic day at work. Ooh, I got myself a blueberry muffin too YUM. Hmm, I don’t think I have ever worked as I hard as I did in fifth-teen minutes at work. It was a big time rush! Then it gradually slowed down. For some reason I keep thinking about what I want to achieve this year, as a 2nd year. I’m afraid if I don’t do what I want before my 3rd year I don’t think I will ever do it because the last two years of my college life is strictly on school. (And maybe a lil party here and there of course.) But I need to get the grades in order to do what I want and that is to go to grad school. Or at least get out of college with a decent job, perhaps having the money to travel for a while. So many opportunities are popping out of the blue, and I’m holding them all back because I think something is more important. That something might not even be what I want after I have achieved it. It really is complicated to explain. If I don’t put all the time and effort into this I don’t think the best will come out of it, so I need to do what I can to make it worth it, so I can gain more from it after... Get it? Probably not, its okay, me either. There’s this really cool course I can take this year over the summer in Italy. 4 units, partying it up, trying out the wine, and learning how to cook. What more can you ask for? The perfect class right? Sucks, I missed the deadline to turn in the paperwork and $$, that I also don’t have. Man, I’ve been passing up internships that my hospitality class has been offering. I wanted to work at the Marriott but too late…I missed the deadline for that internship also. And when spring quarter rolls around all the spots will be taken, which means I have to wait a while for the next time it opens up. Yeah, I know I’m complaining about not having time and a bunch of gibberish, but hey its my time to vent ( and what better time to vent than pretending to study in a room full of nerds.) So what, I need to relax once in a great while too ya know. Lol Oh yeah so I got a leading role in VCN this year, main character and all. Congrats to me, too bad I gave it up for that SOMETHING. I’m pretty bummed out about that one; I was honestly really excited to play the part. It would have been something way different, and awesome. I hope I don’t regret that decision though. Sucks to see another girl play a part that I have earned. I got really sad when I told the coordinator that I wasn’t going to do it anymore. I think overall today was a poignant day for me, thinking of all these possibilities, trying to juggle life. Ew, I sound emotional. | 
