Guided by Circumstances

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if the circumstances were different.  Many of us live in a world of blessed isolation.  We are shielded from such atrocities as war, famine, genocide, apartheid...and all sorts of unmentioned sufferings.  So, instead we are free to live with the opportunity to pursue happiness...yet we choose to mire ourselves in our own petty injustices -- our dissatisfaction with our financial position, our dissatisfaction with our social status, our dissatisfaction with our physical appearance, our dissatisfaction with our lives.  Do we ever stop and think how much better we live in comparison to those that came before us...or, better yet, those that are still suffering, today?  Do we ever put ourselves in the shoes of Winston Churchill, Isoroku Yamamoto, Lyndon Johnson, Sun Yat-Sen, Mao Zedong, Oskar Schindler, Martin Luther King Jr, Nelson Mandela or any other of contemporary history's notables and consider how we would act if faced with their circumstances?  I know plenty of us who've gone through "Life-Application Sunday School" have done a similar, yet understated exercise.  But...have we ever seriously thought about what it would be like to be Gideon, Joseph son of Jacob, Esther, or Moses?  Although that is the goal of Life-Application Bible Studies, I'm sorry to say that we will never really understand what their lives are like unless we've lived in their circumstances.

I still recall the discussion I had with my former Scoutmaster as we were waiting for my Eagle Scout Board of Review to convene.  He asked me about my views on war and if I would ever join the military.  I remember telling him that if the United States was attacked, I would.  If we had to defend our borders and our freedoms from an aggressor nation, I would.  But, if we take a war to another country, if we invade without due cause, and if we attack another without a justifiable reason...I would not.  In making such a statement, I knew I would be doing no different than what my grandfather did when he was 18, what many Chinese did after the invasion of Nanjing, what many young Americans did after Pearl Harbor, and, eventually, what many Americans did after 9-11.  Those heroes of our past did what they did because they were forced to.  Injustice came looking for them, and they were given two choices:  suffer or fight.

So...how does this all relate to the present?  I'm wondering that as I type.  Today, living in the modern, developed world, we rarely face injustices that are thrust upon us.  But...we are still bound by the shackles of suffering.  Many of us are not happy with our jobs, our relationships, our appearances.  Those of us who are earning money are worried that it's not enough.  Those of us with true, caring friends believe life would only be worthwhile if we had a significant other.  Those of us with a boyfriend or girlfriend often consider that life would probably be much easier if we were not tied down.  And there are those of us who believe we are unattractive, overweight, poorly proportioned, etc...when, actually, attraction and true love develop not from appearances but from character. 

Nothing in life will ever be perfect.  Many youthful dreams were shattered as a result of injustices such as war and apartheid.  And, many youthful dreams have been unmet because of fear, discouragement, and dissatisfaction.  But, life can still be enjoyed and new dreams can be forged and reached...we just have to keep going...keep pushing for better.  Our specific circumstances dictate our specific options...but our core choices remain the same -- do we suffer through life's injustices or do we fight past them and reach our goals despite our disadvantages.  Human nature and our desire for survival would lead us to the second choice.  Just keep going forward and never give up...hope

herooooo Jon!

I am Jon and I like to talk to myself. Anyhooooo! Since I'm in da Pilippines, I decied to leave a popular Christmas song on here sung by Filipino singers. Enjoy their accents. I'm just not sure if I can hear my own song with my super slow computer. I have to go now and walk my water buffalo. Cheers!

jk...it's not a Filipino...so this narrows it down to either a Korean kid or a Japanese kid.

http://www.govexec.com/dailyfed/1006/103006p1.htm

This explains A LOT!!!  Darn Feds...

I have to admit that since I got back out to Denver, I haven't been attending church much.  I'd catch messages on TV or take an in-depth study in my personal devotional time, but that would be it.  Well...I guess God had enough of that.  Last night, I got a huge headache.  Didn't know where it came from.  I popped 4 Tylenol ES within 4 hours and, still, it didn't go away.  Well, before I fell asleep, I asked God to take my headache away cus I didn't want to be crippled by it for another couple of days to a week -- which is what happened a couple of weeks ago when I had the same symptoms.  In exchange, I promised I'd make it to service the next morning.  Well...when I woke up in the morning, He not only took my headache away...He also woke me up 1.5 hours before service would start.  I had no more excuses.

Well...after hearing today's message, I can see why He made sure I was there, today.  It was a message about faith -- faith in God to carry us through the difficult times.  This is just what the doctor ordered.  See...since I graduated from UCI, I've been quite frustrated with my career direction.  I tried anything and everything that I thought I could do, and do well, but nothing would stick.  The jobs I was offered, I didn't want.  And the jobs, I really wanted, I couldn't get.  Coming out here to DU made things worse because I disliked this school and I hated the city.  What would frustrate me more was that most of my peers, including those who were graduating, were gunning for jobs that I had the opportunity to take without a graduate degree.  Before I applied to grad school, I was in contact with two potential employers.  The one that was ready to accept me was the one with terms in which I was not satisfied.  The one that I desired was the one that gave me an interview but decided to disqualify me for what I would later find out to be the stupidest of excuses (another recruiter in the same organization would agree with my conclusion).  This trend, where I would get so close but still be too far away, would continue to repeat itself in my current career search.  Things is, I'm receiving recruitment calls from the top echelon of potential employers -- these are the dream jobs for most of my peers.  But, I would still not receive conditional offers of employment.  And, now, as I'm waiting for the processing of another employment opportunity, I'm getting more and more impatient and frustrated.  I'm feeling as though God is giving me this false hope...just to set me up for a disappointment.  I'm feeling as though He's trying to force me to do things His way, even though my heart, at this present stage in my life, is not yet ready or willing.

But...as I was listening to the message, today, I felt God speaking to me and telling me that I need to have faith in Him to lead me -- that His plans for me are not only beneficial but will be received as a blessing and provision for my needs and Godly desires.  This message sounded familiar considering it was probably only a week or two ago when I was complaining to Justine about my career frustrations and she was telling me how I'm highly impatient and have a lack of trust in God to see things through.  That was God's first response to my cries of frustration and pleas for help.  Today's sermon was response #2.  Well...here's what I got from these two messages.  1...I need to stop complaining.  2...I need to trust in God that his plans for me are "plans for welfare and not for calamity to give [me] a future and a hope.  And 3...I need to give him the praise and glory for all the good that He has given me.  So...if or when I get the notification that I need to go back to LA for my final interview and if/when I receive an offer of employment, it is not because I'm highly qualified or a leading candidate for the position but primarily because God wants me there, desiring to bless me and knowing that the given job and its experiences are beneficial towards my spiritual growth and the development of my life's ministry.  And...if not...it's His decision to make...but I have to admit, it would be a difficult decision for me to accept.

OK...I have to voice my frustrations.  The first 2 weeks of this quarter have made a few things quite clear to me.  First & foremost, this MA is the end of the line for my pursuits in higher education.  Although I did entertain thoughts of obtaining a doctorate in order to teach in the college or university level, those thoughts have now -- like Saddam & his lawyers -- been thrown out of the courtroom.  In the lectures I've attended and the readings I've digested, I have come to one conclusion:  "education" is man's way of replacing God.  Hold up...I'm not saying to all you youngsters that school is bad.  What I am saying is that higher education is man's way of imperfectly trying to answer the question "why?".  Key word...imperfect.  

Presently, my Economics course promotes the present popular theory that men are maximizing individuals and that we make all decisions based -- whether consciously or subconsciously -- on a cost-benefit analysis.  THAT STATEMENT IS NOT TRUE!!!  I actually countered this ideology in class by saying that I'm not a maximizing individual.  If I was, I wouldn't be spending $40K a year on a graduate education that may only net me $35K-$55K a year.  Furthermore, the career I intend to get into is not for my own benefit but is founded on my desire to help others and make a difference for society.  I can say that most individuals who signed up for the military after 9/11 are motivated by the same factors.  The underlying reason for human decision-making are VALUES!!!  If maximization was the only determining factor in decision-making, then explain to me why President Bush is in office.  He was voted in not because he has a better economic policy or social-security policy or immigration policy but because he stood for moral values.  It's no secret that Bush was pushed into his second term by the religious right and all those Latino Catholics who swung over from their traditionally Democratic ballots.  OK...if that argument is contestable, then explain to me why Americans continue to sign up and fight for the war in Iraq....or...better yet...explain to me why Osama has a waiting list for would-be martyrs.  They believe that the cause of Islam is worth their sacrifice of life.  Or, it might be the fact that martyrs get beautiful maidens in Paradise and Osama takes care of all their surviving family members' expenses.  OK... bad example.  But you get the point. 

You know how I'm so sure about values?  Because..."Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).  Perfect love is sacrifice.  There is no individual maximization in sacrifice.  It is completely altruistic, and society, even secular society, considers sacrifice for a good cause as a most virtuous act.  Economists can't explain this problem that confronts their popular, modern "neoclassical (maximization) theory."  So, instead of cancelling out their theory, they consider this problem of sacrifice as an anomaly or outlier.  They do this because values cannot be measured and they make no sense unless you look at it from a religious tint.  Universal values assume a value-Giver.  Ultimately logic would point to that value-Giver as a Supreme Being (i.e. God), but since God does not exist to the social science scholar, then any logical derivative that stems from God is unfounded or non-existent.

What frustrates me more in my studies is that even when I'm taking a course on Religion & Politics of Iran/Afghanistan/Pakistan, it is being studied from a sociological, sociocultural, or sociopolitical context and not from a religious context.  A social scientist will never understand religion unless he is religious.  There is a certain devotion to religion that is not found in one's adherence to a certain social theory or line of reasoning.

So...this is why my pursuits in higher education will end after this year.  Knowledge cannot solve everything.  It cannot answer every "why?" question.  I believe that scholars think they can figure out every possible answer to all "why?" questions by continuing to theorize, test hypotheses, and pursue knowledge.  I guess that is why doctoral dissertations are supposed to be innovative...scholars desire to see individuals contribute to the meaning of existence in order to earn their doctorates.  The problem is...the meaning of existence has already been given..."scholars" just don't like the answer because it was given and they didn't determine it.  Like I've said before...the first sin and the sin that is most capable of keeping us from God is the desire to be god.  Men love to marvel at their own achievements.  But, truly, the greatest achievements any man can make can only be done when man submits to God's leading and lets God work through him.  I guess this is what it means when we sing: "Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord...and He...will lift.....you up..."