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Saturday, May 03, 2008

  • ok so i'm kinda calmed down from the last entry.
    i think. 

    still frustrating but my supervisor told me really kind words and gave me a thank-you gift so i feel a little bit better.... hahaha. 

    anyways, so i cannot wait until everything is over.  graduation is so close yet kinda far.  just have to get over the hump of neuroscience final (it's an ONLINE final if anyone's good in neuroscience and wants to help me! haha-- i need to get at least an A- on the final since i didn't do so well on the paper....), finish up an independent study, apply for licensing and the national board test, and my last 2 days of mt sinai.  and then.... it'll be over.  and then i have to job-search, haha.  but i'm glad i don't have to wake up at 6:45am every morning!!!  holler! 

    btw, i really liked the movie 'juno'.  i know that some christian circles are really promoting 'bella' as a movie of redemption and life but i feel that 'juno' may do a better job at it.  it was really well-crafted and it was a story or redemption in a 16 year old girl's quest for perfection and redemption in a broken world. 

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

  • SO PEEVED!!!

    i RARELY get angry...  but like REALLY. 

    #1. one of the interns doesn't have a supervisor.  she didn't since the 2nd week of our internship there since her supervisor left on maternity leave, leaving her to cover her supervisor by herself.  her supervisor, upon leaving, didn't even say "bye" to her or leave a note or anything... she just left. 

    #2.  we've been doing slave work this past month or two- running the speech department on our own while our supervisors gossip or talk on the phone or to each other or email.

    #3.  i was prescribed "bed rest" by the doctor.  i told my supervisor and she didn't suggest that i take off or anything. 

    #4.  one of the interns has jury duty next week and is moving back to long island.  she still has to make up the days she missed, next week (supervisor told her to tell the jury duty people that she's a "student" so she can't)- the days that she missed because she had CLASSES.

    #5.  we're there 4 days a week (full-time) for over 3 months now with no spring break.  whatever days we missed, we're expected to make up at the end of the semester.  basically, no sick days. 

    #6.  our supervisors have been gone for a total of more than 2 weeks each during the whole time we were there - a.k.a. we've received no supervision for weeks straight (which is a no-no according to national board). 

    #7.  we're graduating soon and need to find jobs- no grace there! no days off to do this while we're taking classes and stuff. 


    anyways, just REALLY unfair and not ethical and not cool.  but nothing can be done because they're my recommendation/reference.  argh i hate hierarchy and this culture!!!!!!

Monday, April 21, 2008

  • The Vision

    [i hardly blog on this xanga anymore but i stumbled upon this just now and wanted to share it with y'all. kinda long but totally worth the read.  it's by pete grieg.]

    So this guy comes up to me and says, “What’s the vision? What’s the big idea?”
    I open up my mouth and the words come out like this…

    The vision?
    The vision is Jesus:
    obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

    The vision is of an army of young people.
    You see bones?
    I see an army.

    And they are free from materialism—
    They laugh at nine-to-five little prisons.
    They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
    They wouldn’t even notice.
    They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the West was won.

    They are mobile like the wind.
    They belong to the nations.
    They need no passport.
    People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
    They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting, dirty and dying.

    What is the vision?
    The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes.
    It makes children laugh and adults angry.
    It gave up the game of minimal integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
    It scorns the good and strains for the best.
    It is dangerously pure.

    Light flickers from every secret motive, from every conversation.
    It loves people away from their suicide leaps—their Satan games.

    This is an army that would lay down its life for the cause.
    A million times a day, its soldiers choose to lose that they might one day win the great “well done” of faithful sons and daughters.

    Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night.

    They don’t need fame from names.
    Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: “COME ON!”
    And this is the sound of the underground, the whisper of history in the making, foundations shaking, revolutionaries dreaming once again.
    Mystery is scheming in whispers, conspiracy is breathing…
    This is the sound of the underground.

    And the army is disciple(in)ed—
    Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
    Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
    The tattoo on their back boasts “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain.”

    Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes.
    Winners.
    Martyrs.
    Who can stop them?
    Can hormones hold them back?
    Can failure succeed?
    Can fear scare them or death kill them?

    And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking, with warrior cries, sulfuric tears and great barrow loads of laughter!

    Waiting.
    Watching.
    24-7-365.

    Whatever it takes they will give:
    Breaking the rules,
    Shaking mediocrity from its cozy little hide,
    Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs,
    Laughing at labels,
    Fasting essentials.
    The advertisers cannot mold them.
    Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late-night parties before the cockerel cries.

    They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive on the inside.
    On the outside?
    They hardly care!
    They wear clothes like costumes: to communicate and celebrate, but never to hide.

    Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
    They would lay down their lives, swap seats with the man on death row, guilty as hell: a throne of an electric chair.

    With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as though it all depends on them.

    Their DNA chooses Jesus.
    He breathes out.
    They breathe in.
    Their subconscious sings.
    They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.

    Their words make demons scream in shopping malls.
    Don’t you hear them coming?

    Herald the weirdoes!
    Summon the losers and the freaks.
    Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes!
    They walk tall and trees applaud.
    Skyscrapers bow.
    Mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension.

    Their prayers summon the Hound of Heaven and evoke the dream of Eden.

    And, this vision will be.
    It will come to pass.
    It will come easily.
    It will come soon.

    How do I know?
    Because, this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the spirit, the very dream of God.

    My tomorrow is His today.
    My distant hope is His 3-D.
    And, my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking, great “AMEN!” from countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ himself.

    And He is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
    Guaranteed.



Monday, April 07, 2008

  • A Heart Set Free to Pursue Adventure with God


    (from jaeson's blog.  i was so encouraged when i read this because recently i've become weary of mundane everyday living and all that it entails.  can this sort of life happen in nyc and what would that look like?)

    (Baptizing my boy Vanness in my backyard pool. Much love Vdubb, I'm so proud of your passion to know Christ bro!)
    I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me -- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace. Acts 20:24
    The last 90 days have been unexplainable. I would share more, but the reality is that I can't because of the nature of the occurrences. One thing I do want to point out is this...we were all made to be on adventure with God.

    As human beings, we are made to live for adventure. Without adventure, our hearts die, become dull, and we lose heart. God is the most interesting person I have ever met. I feel like my whole life has been an episode of 24, simply because I chose to lose my life instead of trying to save it. It's funny to me that Christians would try to save their lives and not trust God. That is the most ridiculous choice any person could ever make. Jesus said clearly, lose your life and you will save it, save your life and you will lose it, what good is it to gain the whole world but forfeit your own soul? The true path to freedom is to lose it all, that is, lose yourself to the things of this world and every hold that this world has upon your heart. When you think your happiness comes from owning the things of this world, you are fooled, because that is when the world has owned you. We try to hold on to our dreams, our relationships, our money, our assets, our titles and positions, our possessions and pleasures, not realizing those very things we hold on to are the very things that have enslaved us and kept our hearts from truly being alive. You find yourself when you lose yourself. Don't be owned by any man or woman, but God Himself. I have nothing to lose, cause I don't own anything anyways. I'm a dead man walking, but fully alive. My life is in His hands and whatever He gives me it's a privilege, an honor, a blessing, a grace that gives me the chance to know Him more and make Him known. If you are still holding onto your life it's about time to lose it. You want freedom? You want to live the adventure you were born to live for? Then lose your fears, lose yourself and lose it all, cause there in that place you'll find what you've always been looking for.

    Yes, even lose the one you love, meaning this, I can love a girl, but I can't have her. She's not mine, she belongs to the Lord. God can give her to me as much as He can take her away. I'm just a steward of the things He gives me. I'm saying this because so many of my friends seem to want to hold on to that girl, to that boy, to that relationship as if they owned it (note: I am not talking about marriage, I'm talking about friends who are in dating relationships). Don't try to own anything or it will own you. Be good stewards, always with a heart of surrender and you will be of good faith and walk in infinite peace. In time, God will lead you to the one He has prepared for you in marriage covenant. Be of good courage!

    In the last 90 days for some crazy reason, God has sent me as a missionary to take on the mountain of media and entertainment. People think Hollywood is the pit of hell, a Babylon of sorts, and in many ways it is. Yet, this is exactly where God wants His people to shine. It's in the darkest place that God's light can shine the brightest. I've been sent like Philip the evangelist to Ethiopian eunuchs all across Hollywood and the Asia entertainment world to do one thing, feed the hungry with the saving power of the Gospel. I've seen celebrity after celebrity, come to Christ through prophetic evangelism encounters, everyone of them are so hungry for true love, to be loved not for their fame and fortune, but to be loved for who they were created to be. To be loved as sons and daughters of God. It does not matter if you are famous or if you are homeless, everyone is hungry for one thing, unconditional love. Most of these celebrities who have come to Christ in the last months would never step into a church service, but each of them would like to know Jesus. Interesting, Jesus never invited anyone to a church service, rather, He brought himself, the very presence of almighty God to them. Whether that is on the street, in a club, in a hotel suite, in a corporate high rise, in a restaurant, in a home or in a dark alley, nothing can separate us from the love of God that is everywhere, so near to each of us if we would just open our hearts to Him. So I've started a few new beginnings of churches in the last 90 days in the most unlikely of places, in Hollywood, on the Internet, in friends homes, in recording studios, in hotel rooms and the funnest privilege has been making new disciples on my blackberry messenger. I can explain more later...God is everywhere, in you, with you and with them. Be Jesus where ever you go. Love all you can, do good to all you can, give all you can, bless everyone you can, show everyone you have the way, the truth and the life they have been searching for all their lives and you will begin to experience life's greatest adventure...the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Monday, February 04, 2008

  • i don't usually care about sports but i gotta say, the game last night was kinda sorta really AWESOME.
    holler GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pulse