well just my luck

its 230 in the morning and jug is still chewing on my toes. THATS RIGHT, im over toms and i cant fall to sleep. you know how great it is to be stuck away for no reason at all other then your body just wont let you sleep, and to top it all off, i have elite lacrosse camp tommrow and on 3 horus of sleep, i can assure you i wont be playing very "elite" at all. so i figured id vent away at you guys things that have been on my mind now that schools over and all.

let me start by being completly honest: Ive never been more happy and scared to death in my life

high school is pretty much over, i have one more lazy year and a buisy summer and im out of here, it really does go fast. this year has probally been the best so far just because i went through the saddest time followed shorty after by the happiest time of my life so far, yess, it comes in girl form. im not sure why its so good, but sitting alone in the dark by myself for some reason i still dont feel "alone", i never do anymore, and i know its because of her. On the rare occasion that im feeling unhappy or not good about something i come to the immediate conclusion that reguardless of what happens, im still loved and shes still there. i dont know what im getting at, but it is 230, so hey, ramble on.

im afraid of leaving, im scared to be taking my finals earlier then everyone else next year and sitting through hours of graduation practice, and not going back to the oh-so-familiar smell and feel of hatboro-horsham. it also scares me that people i say hi to and kid around with everyday, after this time next year, chances are ill never see them again. never is a really long time, and after highschool is where a person really gets the feel of "never". in the summer, you look in your yearbook when your bored and say "hah, i cant wait to see this kid, or talk to this kid when the school year comes around", i think it takes some people a while to realize that highschool is gone, and so is everything familiar to them. well not me, its hitting me a year early and i am freaked out.

moving on to other things, im not getting any tireder...which is really bad because i figured if i stared at this screen long enough that my eyes would get sort of heavy....nope...not jeff. whatever. here is my plan of action:

1) never leave behind anything that means something to me

if it means that much, i can compensate and give a little to keep it

2)....im working on 2

i dont know...im not mature enough or something to make these kinds of decisions, and i probally sound like an idiot, and someone readign this is going "what an idiot, shut up man no one cares", and if you said that to yourself and are still reading...whelp looks like im not the only idiot in the room.

everything that our lives is based on..friends and drauma...the only thing that really remains constant is love, its kind of an essiential once you have it. i never want to live without this feeling, its too...good. it makes everything else so...meaningless i guess? not meaningless...but...not as important. it makes life easier and all that kinda stuff. still nto even coming close to explaining it but....its now almost 245 and im making less sense and still not getting itired, not to mention as soon as i lay back down jug is going to jump on my head and wake me right up anyway.

whelp, its been good

"i loovvee youu...ohh baby i love youu"

^yes robert, yes we know my man.

NotBillCook: dude
reamer reamer: dude.
reamer reamer: ?
NotBillCook: today when i got home from schoo
NotBillCook: l
NotBillCook: i couldnt pull in my parking spot because there were two "buisy" birds in my spot
NotBillCook: and i was like like 'EY GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE" and the dud hissed at me but the chick bird ran

i had to share this with the rest of the world...it was unfair to keep it to myself.

"a rant inspired by a bitch"

I will start off with this.

NotBillCook: like i was wearing my white belt and she grabes me and goes
NotBillCook: "oh white belt huh, does that make you cool, does that make you scen, emo huh?"
NotBillCook: i just tuned and told her to stop trying to be so againced scean because your alot more scean that you think you are

has this happened to anyone else?

id like to say that bill cook is the most unemo kid ive ever met, and i have nothing against emo music. its not my "bag", but i have nothing against it. what i do fuckin hate is the bullshit that comes along with listening to a certain kind of music. YOU CANT WEAR MUSIC! and you being sarcastic about it does not make u not a member of the conformist, black hair dyed, skinny, tye wearing, "look at me im different, except i look like all the toher 400 thousand kids just like me", ARMY that has developed over the years. GET OVER YOURSELF! no one cares what kind of music you listen to, and you shouldnt flatter yourself with "omg, she cant wear that cuz i do...shes just not :emo enough, to preppy, to much of a cheerleader, etc etc etc". cheerleaders cant listen to emo cuz evidently, cheerleaders have it SO easy, and the only people in the WORLD who have ANY PROBLEMS IN THEIR LIVES are emo kids. GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF! jesus, music shouldnt make a CULT of people, it should bring people togather, not seperate them. jesus christ, grow the fuck up and stop being a drauma queen!

and to everyone else, (you know who you are), nothin but love. listen to your music and love life.

well, consider me updated.

by the way, things in my life kick hardcore ass and things cant get much better. the shore and liscense, and T-MONEY!

it owns.

"a rant inspired by a bitch"

I will start off with this.

NotBillCook: like i was wearing my white belt and she grabes me and goes
NotBillCook: "oh white belt huh, does that make you cool, does that make you scen, emo huh?"
NotBillCook: i just tuned and told her to stop trying to be so againced scean because your alot more scean that you think you are

has this happened to anyone else?

id like to say that bill cook is the most unemo kid ive ever met, and i have nothing against emo music. its not my "bag", but i have nothing against it. what i do fuckin hate is the bullshit that comes along with listening to a certain kind of music. YOU CANT WEAR MUSIC! and you being sarcastic about it does not make u not a member of the conformist, black hair dyed, skinny, tye wearing, "look at me im different, except i look like all the toher 400 thousand kids just like me", ARMY that has developed over the years. GET OVER YOURSELF! no one cares what kind of music you listen to, and you shouldnt flatter yourself with "omg, she cant wear that cuz i do...shes just not :emo enough, to preppy, to much of a cheerleader, etc etc etc". cheerleaders cant listen to emo cuz evidently, cheerleaders have it SO easy, and the only people in the WORLD who have ANY PROBLEMS IN THEIR LIVES are emo kids. GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF! jesus, music shouldnt make a CULT of people, it should bring people togather, not seperate them. jesus christ, grow the fuck up and stop being a drauma queen!

and to everyone else, (you know who you are), nothin but love. listen to your music and love life.

well, consider me updated.

by the way, things in my life kick hardcore ass and things cant get much better. the shore and liscense, and T-MONEY!

it owns.

I HATH RETURNED TO THE "things worth looking at" DEPARTMENT OF THE XANGA WORLD!!

Few things...

Number one thing im annoyed with in the world right now...

money.

FUCK money... who wants to spend 12 years going through a series of schools being passed around from teacher to teacher in a failing attempt to get you to love the knowledge your forced to learn. Then that good old graduation comes along, and lets face it...the only things most people remember from high school is friends, good times, and that one time they got really wasted... My dad took 4 years of spanish, algebra, english, and science and he can not speak a word of spanish, doesnt remember any formulas, and has no idea wat the atomic weight of berrilyum is. WHOO CARESS! THEN!! OHHH OHH, THIS is the BEST PART! you spend 2 years waking up at night afraid of what is to come: you becoming a REAL person, in the REAL world. Lemme tell you something about the real world...it sucks. No one gives a fuck about you, except for the people you love. SO hoLD ON TO THEM! NOW, after high school either you delay your entrance to "i dont give a fuckville" by going to a college where you either spend your time coming home to someone special, or spend your time on the weekends getting wasted and laid. LIVE IT UP BECAUSE WASTED AND LAID OR SOMEONE SPECIAL will be the best part of your life. Soon you go out and get greedy and start to want want want want want MONEY! money is great, its something no one has enough of, everybody hates, but everybody wants it. So you spend your days getting stressed out over your bosses, almost losing your house, living from paycheck to paycheck, and in the meantime a few things happen. NUMBER ONE! you get old. love isnt so passionate...and your weiner stops working. Women go thru menopause, and you spend your days living vicariously through your kids. Then what happens!?!?! You get TOO OLD TO DO ANY THING THEN YOU DIE!

WHAT A PROMISING FUTURE WE ALL HAVE!!!

whats my moral?

ok...so sometimes it isnt that bad. i know thats the shit end of the stick i described but...the whole reason for this rant is 2 things. NUMBER ONE!

were in high school, live it up. love and hate and do everything you can because it is SOO CLOSE TO OVER that we have no idea. They werent kidding when they said it will be over before you know it.

And number 2.
NO matter what it is, WHAT YOU LOVE is going to be something that is going to make life hard. and your parents are going to tell you its not a good idea, and want you to be a businessman. Trust me, they all want you to make money cuz none of them have it. THEY DONT REMEMBER THAT DOING WHAT YOU LOVE IS BETTER THEN ANY MONEY YOU WILL EVER HAVE! so do what you like...not what gives the most money...

trust me life is better that way..


LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE!

SEXXX!!

LOVE!

lovelove....sexylove....

nothing but the love.