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JustCallMeCait
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Name: Caitlin
Country: United States
Metro: College Station
Birthday: 5/26/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: i LIKE music, movies, art, books, travel, old things, world war II history, beauty, andy warhol, ice cream, stars (the kind in the sky), david sedaris, harry potter, the daily show, my family, pasta, bowling, england and singing.
i DON'T LIKE lizards, uncertainty, sticky surfaces, mountain dew, scary movies, mean people, cheesecake, hilary duff, closemindedness, grammar and spelling errors, keanu reeves, roaches and running.
Expertise: procrastination, spelling, being the mommy of our house, worrying
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  obladah26
Member Since:
1/4/2005
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| it annoys me when people see me as their mother. it annoys me even more that the only way that i know how to care about someone else is to treat them like a child. i'm always seen as the motherly figure...but i can't seem to act any different. and i know that this is good in some ways because it means that i'm empathetic and all that...but i never want anyone to think i'm nagging them or talking down to them. i get obsessive over things and it seems the only way i deal with it is to berate someone else. ARG.
also, when did i get to be a senior in college???? i feel slightly suffocated and like i'm grabbing onto things that are quickly slipping out of my grasp. if i seem especially clingy and worrisome this year, it's only because i want to spend as much time as possible with all of my friends. i. don't. want. to. be. an. adult.
as you can probably tell, i feel like my mind is running in 86 directions and i can't get a hold of myself. i've had this feeling pretty much constantly since the end of june. uncertainty and confusion are things that make me nervous and i feel like that's all i have right now. i need something that's going to keep me afloat. and keep me from being so damn nervous all the time. lord, i'm such a basket of nerves.
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warning: melodramatic post dead ahead...
i hold on too strong. i'm too emotional. oh, and i have an obsessive personality.
boo. i wish i could be an island and feel nothing. also, i wish i didn't make mistakes. (ha, who doesn't?)
p.s. the news makes me sad. can't we all get along? why are there people starving? why does AIDS exist? i hate feeling helpless.
p.p.s. there should be so many more do-gooders like anderson cooper.
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| i'm rather restless. this is going to sound selfish and stupid, but we usually take a family vacation every year and we didn't get to do that this year. it was for a good reason (maura went to state, woo!) but it doesn't make me less restless. i haven't flown in a plane since march. i don't mind traveling in texas, but sometimes you gotta just fly off somewhere and explore.
school's about to end...thank goodness. this spanish class isn't that bad (except i bombed a test because of my own laziness) but i don't like driving back and forth from blinn every day by myself. it gets boring and tedious.
once school lets out i'll have about a week of freedom. i'm planning on sleeping in, cleaning the house, going to dallas for a day or two, getting ready for fish camp...the usual. speaking of fish camp, i'm excited to go but i'm getting rather nervous. what if my fish camp experience ends up being sad and lonely like it was my freshman year? what if i mess up during my skits? what if i don't get enough sleep and yell at a lowly freshman for no reason? what if the freshman hate me?
on another note, i graduate in a year and a half. eeek. no offense to graduating from high school, but college graduation is where you truly become an adult. but i feel like i'm still 17...
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| recently, the only thing everyone talks about is the future. on one hand, i like this because thoughts of the future take up most of my time as well. on the other hand, we're not out of college yet. let's focus on the present. or at least what we can do to make the future easier.
i'm not sure why i updated...i just felt like it was time. class is easy, life is confusing, summer is slowly coming to an end.
i can't believe i'm in my early 20s. in nine years, i'll be 30. THIRTY YEARS OLD. i'll have lived a third of my life. i know i'm getting carried away, but that's frightening. i'm not ready. i haven't done everything that i've wanted to do. sigh.
read "a dirty job" by christopher moore. it's fantastic and made me think a lot about death and life. also, it's hilariously funny. fabulous book.
sorry this entry sucked. i may quit xanga all together soon.
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| --i bought a book of easy to medium ny times crossword puzzles because i love crosswords and i feel like i'm becoming stupid. seriously, i'm having a quarter life crisis. i don't want to be ignorant and dumb.
--music RULES. especially imogen heap, johnny cash and everything from les miserables.
--everyone is growing up. it's frightening and exciting and makes me feel like laughing and crying at the same time. i think i'm growing up too...eek. but i will never admit to being an adult. never ever.
--the ny times needs to majorly improve their music section. i think they should hire me to do it.
--i have a two-foot tall pile of books in my room, waiting to be read. i can't wait.
--i had an hour long conversation with mary and stephanie last week about grammar and the decline of language in america and a long discussion about economics and education with sean. i adore being around people who worry about dorky things like i do.
when did it become july? everything goes by so faaaaast.
p.s. check out "the last kiss" on apple.com/trailers. zach braff is my hero.
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