ko_orean_opa's Xanga Site

KO_orean_Opa
read my profile sign my guestbook Name: 제임스 Birthday: 2/3/1987 Gender: Male Interests: None at the moment because of this stupid xanga... Expertise: Hatin on xanga... Message: message me Member Since: 4/23/2004

SubscriptionsSites I Read
Subscribe to KO_orean_Opa Get trial subscription

Posting Calendar

\|<< oldest \| newest >>\|
view all weblog archives

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Another Random Entry.

Why i'm writing in here I don't know. Waste of time honestly. I have so much work to do and yet... find myself needing to vent. Once was... is no longer... and what's yet to come... lacks interest. I wonder if this is how it's going to be for a while; my life that is. Striving to find the point. Sometimes it feels like I live for others and not myself. How much my family would pain to lose me? It'd be selfish to not to live for them... or my friends... or for God. Shameful really, given a chance to live and not thinking much of it. Looking back at how i've lived my life. Telling myself how I could have done things different... and yet... wouldn't change them even if I could. What's done is done... it's what made me who I am today. Regretful or not, it makes no difference. Random thoughts... lol.

I need something more. God? He's there... committed to helping me. Repent and ask for forgiveness... Right. It's my own fault for only relying on myself. Be patient with me and my stubborn attitude please. I feel nothing but my pride holding me up nowadays. But I know it won't last. Sigh... what kind of a person am I turning into? Looking in the mirror... I don't know the person staring back anymore. He doesn't smile or laugh much. When he does, on rare occation, it's just a game face. Again, to keep those around him happy. To avoid uncomfortable questions that lack returned answers. No emotion. Pity. What he would give to even feel hate. But nothing... all he does is think and come up with no answers or feelings to his thoughts.

LOL, So much to say... but it'd be foolish to write... forever... literally. I'll just end the written thoughts here... and keep the rest to a troubled mind...

10:13 PM - 21 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Funny story >.<;

GodSServant619: how bout i went to the hospital this morning

GodSServant619: and i go see the doc

GodSServant619: she asks me all the regular questions and rutines

KGuy872005: and he says pull down ur pants big boy

GodSServant619: at the very end of the examination she goes

GodSServant619: you know what a hernia is?

GodSServant619: i was like um yea i think so

KGuy872005: lol why?

GodSServant619: and she says u had a sport physical and i was like yea

GodSServant619: she was like okie

GodSServant619: so i dont need to check?

GodSServant619: *moment of silence*

GodSServant619: i was lke um no its okie

GodSServant619: she goes so there in the right spot and place/

GodSServant619: i was like -_- yes

GodSServant619: testicles in the right place?

KGuy872005: LOL

Funny story that happened to my bro. (He gave permission to this story post btw) >.<; Docs these days...

7:56 PM - 16 views - 6 eprops - 2 comments - email it

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I don't believe it...

I know I studied my ass off this semester... and I know i've changed in character... and that i've pulled away from many friends... but I wasn't planning on... GETTING ALL A's!!! I'm in so much shock right now... those freakin sciences were incredibly difficult! On top of that, my councelor and me weren't even counting on Anatomy to be an A! My GPA just did a big boost and i'm back in the game! All A's... it feels impossible... the only way that could have happened... was if I Aced all 3 exams... and the odds of that are extremely low... considering there were over 100 questions and I could only miss about 10... incredible... at least... to me. Esp. when finals almost always just lower ur grade... take that you stupid cumulative tests :P

Sigh... even those closest to me won't understand how i'm feeling right now... the sacrifices and changes i've made to achieve, no, more than achieve because... even I wasn't expecting this... the partying I gave up, the nights out with friends that I had to pass, the dedication and stress, the countless hours of lab time and teacher assisting... working my ass off to be the few at the top of the class... just a few things of many I chose to give up to prove to myself... that i'm not some fool who tries to act smart and impress others... that I can achieve just like any other... it may take more effort... but I am capable... for my parents as well... I promised them I would get myself together... I just didn't expect it to be fixed in one semester... I know now what I have to do in order to succeed...

I will finish college and work for top marks in class... I just hope everyone can understand my goals and not hinder or criticize my ways... I choose to do what I do for a reason... friends that constantly pressure me to do stuff that I know will mess up my goal... rubbing that stuff in my face adds up... and I know my friends didn't have the intention to be like that.. they just wanted me to enjoy myself... but it really makes me feel Alone and more embarrassing to say... Lonely... God, i've never felt so detached from social life... EVER. It really does hurt... so badly... It's not like I don't want to have fun... i'm just prepared to accept what must be done... but I don't blame anyone for the thoughts of me becoming a lame person... a guy that's no fun anymore... pressuring me to drink or hang out... I understand. But I will say that I truly am thankful for the few who respected my actions... and let me be... for the most part.

Random Note: I'm saying that i'm sorry to all my friends that have been affected by my actions and motives... sorry... things change... people change... i've changed... and after this semester, I don't want to go back. At least, not fully. Now that schools out... I will enjoy my short break with my friends and family. But when the next semester comes... it'll be time to focus once again... I just hope I can manage my social life a little more better... and still achieve the best.

God... this meant so much to me... Thank you...

Lol... looking back at this entry... it's a lil dramatic... but I don't care. It's how I feel. Screw anyone who reads this and mocks... it just proves my point as to how nearly no one could understand what i've gone through in such a short time... all the situations i've gone through... how much I know i've grown... and unfortunately lol... how old I feel now >.<; It doesn't help when nearly all ur college friends assumed you were 22-25 years old for over half the first part of the semester either... aigoo...

1:18 AM - 19 views - 6 eprops - 3 comments - email it

Sunday, November 26, 2006

So we won... but at a cost (for me).

Basketball Tournament: Our team: 5-0 undefeated (again).
Great game though ^_^
Unfortunately, this is where my story comes in. Man! You guys won't believe what freakin happened to me!! I haven't felt so helpless in forever! And the story goes...
I just get done dropping off my dongsang from the game and then head home. But when I freakin get out of my car both of my legs cramped up from the hips down! I mean like ALL the main muscles in my thighs and calves. So i'm busy basically trying not to squeal like a girl, (I can honestly say... i've never felt my legs cramp up that much or that bad... the pain... was incredible... the slightest movement was "not fun" and not moving didn't make the cramp go away at all...) when I realize that my phone fell out of my hand when I grabbed my legs. It's dark and i'm right outside my house and I can't find my phone... it seems funny now... haha but right then... it seriously wasn't. It took A LOT of effort to keep from getting more cramps while looking for my phone (which turned out to be about... 3 inches? away from my reach! I was seriously pissed lol... but managed to get it finally... So I call up my home and my mom's basically like "WHAT THe...?" (not something you get a phone call about, esp. when the person is basically on ur driveway) and my dad comes running out, followed by the rest of the Borden's, only to find me holding my legs and lying helpless on the floor in the grass with my car door slighly open. So my dad is trying to help me get rid of the cramps one by one... but my thighs would not give... they kept coming over and over again... >.<; I get passed some water... gradually stretch out my thighs and then have to walk really funny into the house so I don't risk another cramp... (This whole process... took quite some time haha).
I have to say, if I didn't have my phone... grr... yelling for help like crazy would have been my only resort... Or worse... if it were while I was driving... thank God for real...
On a lighter note: I am personally glad I didn't go out to dinner with everyone... I think it would have been just a tad more dramatic if I suddenly stepped out of my car and fell down screaming and yelling right in front of a restaurant with people staring out the window as I tried to reach for my phone that was 3 inches too far haha. The sad part would be that the people looking from inside probably wouldn't get what was going on at first lol maybe from shock.)
Well, that's my interesting story... note to everyone and esp. myself: DO NOT try to go home ALONE right after about 5 hours of constant sports... Have a buddy beside you at all times in case something like this happens. ^_^
(And yes I know it's been forever since I updated... but thought you'd find this somewhat interesting ^_^)
Ahn young!

8:46 PM - 10 views - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it