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KSinKS
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Name: Katie
Country: United States
State: Kansas
Metro: Wichita
Gender: Female
Interests: Japan, wind up toys, mint tea with honey, color, art, dresses,,,
Expertise: I wish.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art?
Message: message me
AIM:  ksinks23
Member Since:
9/14/2005
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| Sometimes when you make an honest change in your life, people will judge you. Even if it’s that stupid of a thing to judge anyone for. Through this, you find out who your real friends are.
(I am over it.)
In times like this, where the only real thing in my life is my family becomes more apparent.
Family is permanence. Family is love.
I am lucky to have such a good one.
I think I will end my blogs here. Xanga, you were cool for a little while.
Only a little while, though.
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| Life and Death
I had my public speaking class, tonight. My professor allowed us to do 1-2 minute impromptu speeches for extra credit. Since it sounded easy and a little fun, I got up to draw my random topic card. Other students had topics like college dorms, WSU's campus statues, etc.
Mine read "Favorite person".
-----If you didn't know the story---
When I was two, my neighbor's dog bit most my left cheek off my face. Being only two years old, my entire family was devastated. After that first visit to the ER, I would scream and shake every time going to the hospital, which was often for almost a whole year. I was afraid of everything and even had to be re-potty trained.
My mom would cry every night about it, because she had to clean my face all the time and give me medicine, and I would just scream. Nobody ever predicted the scar would be an insignificant facial feature, like how it is now. It's because my parents took such good care of it after the surgeries.
-----Our hero---
My mom's oldest sibling, Bobby, at the time, just finished law school. He worked his ass off on my case. He was there to take care of everyone. Any case like that could have earned him a lot of money, but he didn't want a penny from us.
-----My favorite person---
(I could have easily said one of my parents, but that is too typical, and I knew if a classmate were to go up and give a speech on why their mom is the "best", I would strongly disagree.)
Growing up in six different states with no other family around than my immediate one, I didn't appreciate some relatives like I do now. The few times we got to see uncle Bobby, he would smile and tell me I had a beautiful face and would touch my scar. Being an eight year old brat, I thought he was weird. I didn't understand that from the time I was two to ten, Bobby had only seen me about five times. When I became older, my mom told me the story (dog-bite) in detail, what the whole family went through, and what Bobby did for me.
These past five years, I've spent a lot of time in Colorado, and being there, I became close with my uncle. He's amazing in so many ways- intelligent, cultured, open-minded, nice, understanding, calm, hilarious, and full of life. He's in his fifties, but still kayaks and goes skiing down double-black diamonds! Every time I go to visit, him and Lana (his lovely wife) always invite me to do really fun things. Some of my most favorite laughs, experiences, and deep discussions have been with him.
-----The thing that didn't hit me until during my speech---
This last Thanksgiving, before Bobby and Lana came, my parents told me Bobby was diagnosed with cancer. They said not to worry, because doctors could catch it, if it's early enough. When they arrived, it was just hanging out and having fun, like how it is always with them (only in Kansas, so there was less to do). And for as stressful as the holidays are, especially this year, GOD, I put it out of my mind. Uncle Bobby is the strongest person I know. If anyone can do it, it sure as hell would be him. Right?
I haven't given it much thought for a while, but here I was talking about him to my class, and during all of it, I kept on thinking I sounded like I could be giving a eulogy, even though I didn't even mention his health. In my head, all of these thoughts and suppressed emotions flew around, as I was trying to give a speech without cracking my voice or crying. As soon as I felt my eyes water, I wrapped up my sentence. Then, I went straight out of the classroom to the bathroom. It took a few minutes before I could collect myself. The one day I wear mascara this week, Jesus Christ.
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It's been a tough year for a lot of people I know. There has been a lot of deaths. I think that needs to change.
Here was one thought floating around in my head, tonight:
One of the things that annoys me so much about funerals, is that most people THEN show their appreciation. I kind of want to hear my eulogy, you know, and who doesn't? Too bad I'll be dead and can't hear a damn thing.
I think that needs to change, too.
Why does someone have to die to be noticed for all the great things they've done?
Would that make you feel any better of a person, to write a good eulogy for someone, who doesn't get to listen and who didn't even know how much they meant to you?
This is bullshit. People need to get over themselves. Appreciate. Especially the ones who deserve a little more.
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| CountingOne.
Two.
Three.
(Anything to procrastinate, right? I should really start on my art history paper instead of looking at cute animals.)
Listen to this pretty lady: http://www.myspace.com/raecassidy
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| This is an (art) hotel room somewhere in Berlin:
That would be so uncomfortable, but I guess not for some. Yowza!
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| The other night,
I had a dream I was walking down
some quiet alleyway in Europe.
My shoulders were warm.
I was wearing my favorite sundress
and carrying a big woven bag.
The bag was holding flowers
making my adventure smell
of lavender.
Don't tell me I'm in Kansas.
Don't tell me I have to wear more than
five articles of clothing.
I need to get away, and I fucking deserve it.
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