I have not been on xanga for a very long time, I am shipping out today, into the Navy...

but I just wanted to share my other pages... JOIN ME ON MY TRIBE JOIN ME ON MY MYSPACE

For most of my life I feel as if somebody else was at the helm of my mind, I look back at most of my memories of the past few hundred years and wonder what I was thinking.  I would not have done the things I had if I had been of sound mind.  But I am sure that it all seemed very logical at the time, for I don't submit to peer pressure very easily.  What bothers me is what if I may have a relaps, what if for whatever reason I happen to go back under this spell that controlled me for so long?  Will I beable to break free again?  Will I notice?  How do I know that this is not something I am not?  What is reallity anyway?

Beyond that door I believe there is the hallway that leads to the rest of this old house, but I don't know for sure... it could change, it could be that that door is no longer the physical door it was and now is the doorway to hell that I fear it will become, I open that door to find some twisted world, where evil spirits wait to rip me to shreads while engorging themselves upon my immortal soul.  Kind of morbid thought... sort of.
Just one month now and my fate will catch up with me, but I don't really know that that month will pass, I could die right now, by the hands of my own or the hands of another.  I never shall know when the darkend curtin shall fall upon my life.  All I can do is live without regret for when it does that moment of death shall reach on forever.  And there I shall be just me and my memories watching the deeds I have domained upon and sooner or later when my consciousness relises that I am dead I will be deep within the boossum of the goddess and her infinate wisedom, just to find myself reborn in another shell, another body of human decent, my own blood.  Then as my life is made anew somewhere along the lines we chose to forget everything before... nobody can ever make you do anything except for yourself.  with this logic it is not the fact we are forced to forget the infinite wisdom of the universe but within that wisdom we find it best to forget about the past.  Maybe it is actually the truth we are forgetting... we never truely forget, we just think we have forgotten... all of the answers of the universal questions are locked deep within your body. 

Yay! I fixed my malachite necklace... It had broke some time ago and I did not think to fix it just yet.

I then chose to use the leather strap on a medation charm I got at a holiday party.

So right now my malachite is drapped around my neck by a red ribbon that I got a few Valentines day cookies in... Funny that everything fits together

That is all

MAPLE STORY IS THE BEST GAME EVER!!! EVEN BETTER THAN EVERQUEST B/CAUSE MAPLE IS FREE!@!

I just figured I would post something new, does not seem to me that anybody actually reads my stuff but  few people who have my myspace page...

But anywho... latly, oh ok the last 3 months, I have been addictied to a MMORPG, ((Massive Multiplayer On-line Role Playing Game)) It is this really awsome 2-d side scroller called MapleStory.  I am on the Site of www.mapleglobal.com.  What you do is create an account download the client and you play from your desk-top... Really Really Really Really Really Really fun game, I am addicted to the mages in the game.... so I have not really created any of the other job classes, but after lvl 30 you get the second job class, and within the magician job class there is the two wizards and a cleric, the wizards move on to Mages at lvl 70 and the cleric to become a Priest, mapleglobal has not released it yet but there is also a 4th job lvl which the Priest becomes a Bishop and the Wizards become Arch-Mages.    The two different Wizard classes are hybrid of Ice and Lightning and a hybrid of Fire and Poison.

I have one of each of these mage classes... on 3 of the 5 servers within the MapleGlobal version of maplestory.
Bera- Vaecaesin (the name is draconic for Elf)- lvl 33 Ice/Lightning Wizard
Broa- Kaleanbeast (this was my first character)- lvl 35 Fire/Poison Wizard
Windia- PrinceCaelan ("Caelan" is the Irish spelling of the elvesh word that my name is)- lvl 31 Cleric (yay! I can heal myself and party members with this characters)

But all around the internet there has been this fabulous rumor that land that is so Raveshing that it had to come last, is coming out soon... impossibly soon, no idea when the patch will be but my guess says near the end of this month.  This new land is like Babes in Toyland was fused with Legoland.

If anybody happens to read this that knows more about maplestory than I do, please tell me about these new mage sheilds that have appeared on both the www.hidden-street.net and www.mapletip.com equipment databases.

Well Happy Mapling!@!@!@!@!@! @!@!@!@!@!@!@ !@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!

Currently Reading New Millennium Magic : A Complete System of Self-Realization (Llewellyn's High Magick Series) By Donald Tyson see related

   Today when I awoke to my life I desided to head out.  I wanted to see a movie, I had to found the paper to look for the page in the back.  As my fingure found the theatre in the mall I quickly could read all of my selections.  Most of the movies I have rather seen or had no interest ... then half way down the list I saw the movie that I have waited for to come to the cheap theatre for what seems like eons.  RENT. 
   There, my day was set.  I aligned my clothes and created a playlist.  As my cd was burning, I was deep in the shower cleansing myself.  I adorned my clothes and arranged my accessories ... Took up the cd and headed out the door.
   The road was quite long and the day was quite hot, but deep in my heart I sure of my trec.  I walked all that way I was sure I would make it.  As my songs played through and the last one played I could see the mall within my sight.
   I danced into the theatre and ask for my ticket as I walked in the audatorium I had seen that the first trailor had already started... SHHHH!!!!!..... I had never seen this movie before so the whole thing was a shock.  I felt like Mark in wanting to document the world, I empathised with Roger who wrote his songs with the passion of his heart, I wanted to be Angel with her bright passion, I felt strong like Tom Collins (when the world hits me down I just pic myself up and continue in my line). 
   This movie was so beautiful I have felt renewed just seeing this movie.

On my walk home I relised my dreams.  I want to create a video game that covers the travels of my soul.  I have seen many stories deep in my mind.  I have traveled from spactial regions before man was, through the ancient kingdoms of Earth and neighboring Planets.  I would include the psychic connection I share with a seer from beyond the stars I would tell about how I feel my soul is stranded here on a planet where the magic is dead because the humans took over.  When the elves left planet they took the magic of this realm with them, only me and several like me (their children) remain.  The game would end the story deep within the realm of the future when the end finally closes in.  As the Sun of our system explodes the people of our planet earth are still at war with each other ... the flames pass over and distroy everything left.  Even if anything living did survive the planet's surface would become cold and baren.  As the flames that cleansed the earth passed outward it would carry everything that we are with it.  Sending our energy and souls with it, we will finally be free.  Life will form again on a planet far away where the elves have colonised, I just hope they learned from this expironment with humans.