| | I want to see you, I want to see you more than anyone
Once more, I want you to hold my hand
I'm looking for vestages of your presence still left over in this room
If I close my eyes, even now, I can almost feel you next to me
I always took it for granted
Even though I knew that we would part
I want to see you I want to see you more than anyone
I simply cannot forget about you
I cannot see you I've hurt you so many times, but
Once more, I want you to hold my hand
The moment we met, I fell in love and without thinking, I hugged you
You laughed at me and said "You silly" and gently kissed me...
From the time they meet until the time they part
No one realizes true love
I want to see you I want to see you more than anyone
The first time I met you underneath the starry sky
I want to tell you about the feelings that haven't reached you
My heart is still searching for you
I always took it for granted
Even though I knew that we would part
I want to see you I want to see you more than anyone
I simply cannot forget about you
If it's for you. Yes, if it's for you...
Once more, I want you to hold my hand
Your hand held in mine was always warm
Gackt
How come you wouldn't know? I was telling you about how I felt in that house for this couple of months, I told you many many times before, before you left me. I sent you an email, I asked you to take me away, to let me enter your bubble... your world, how come you didn't know what will happen????
I'm at my faculty now, using the internet here to try and search for a room. But everything is expensive, and I won't have money until the end of the month, so nobody will rent me a room until february at least... I thought I could, but I can't. I tried (again) to do things for you: tidy up my room, go to work... I even wanted to disappear so I cannot hurt you anymore (but I'll never hurt as much as you do). And you crossed beyond the limits, you talked with them... You opened Pandora's box. Now they blame you when it's all their fault. It's always been. My lower jaw hurts and a have a couple of bumps in my head, my neck hurts also a little bit but I think (he grabbed me there and put my face to the ground so I couldn't move, but I moved) I don't have any bruise... only in the right knee.
Last night they insulted you,when you were trying what you thought would be fine: they are not your parents! And never will. I told you, you were the one to help me but you wouldn't back in September, and even now. And after trying and trying... you offer your help too late. I was begging, I was on my damned knees... but until things happen you don't realize (that's something you told me back in November, remember? yes, that time when you also told me to wait for you). And now I think those text messages were only to try to comfort me, thinking I would do something irreversible... How can I be the most important person in your life or how can you say you cannot think of ever talk to me again... when you do those things to me and treat me that way? When you say you love me, yet you won't be my hubby anymore? I just don't get it, and neither of my friends or yours... Everyone says you are being very bad with me, and still I tell them I love you and I don't think you really want to hurt me. They tell me to forget about you, that you don't deserve my love or that you are very selfish trying to make me wait months and months until you get tired of that new world... and still I let you be that selfish. Did you read again the letter inside the Dolls dvd? How could you forget that? And when I try to get away, to separate myself from you, to avoid hurting myself and hurting you with my needy feelings... you pull me back saying sweet things... I can't take it. It's not fair. I just want you to be happy, and if you can't be happy with me anymore... I just want to disappear because I never liked to beg, you know it: I never say I'm sorry or that I was wrong... And now I can't do anything more... You said in that letter that you were very glad I was always able to forgive your childish attitude towards some things... and that you hoped I would always forgive you, because you weren't nice to me always and that you hoped not that I forgive you but to never need my forgiveness... And you know I will. And that's also not fair.
And now, I'm so so so tired... you wouldn't imagine. You were really my all, my salvation, it was only you who kept me from what happened yesterday, who kept me from what will happen. It was for you I could endure living with those two people... as long as I had you at the end of my day, at the end of the road... to live together again. And now... it's too late for me. You said I wished you the worst of luck... you're wrong, I wished you to never exit that world, that bubble. My wish was for you to live as you are living and never be conscious of anything: ignorance is bliss.
Two more days. I need it to be over.
Fuan no yoru wa...
Kore kara mou zutto futari de
Kono mune ni tsuyoku dakishimete
Omoi wa kawaranai
Anata hitotsu dake no aishiteru
Hitotsu dake... aishiteru
#2
VAST - You're pretty when you cry
You hurt me baby
I hurt you baby
(How can you do this to me now?)
(How can you do this to me now?)
If you knew how much I love you, you would run away
(How can you do this to me now?)
But when I treat you bad it always makes you want to stay
(How can you do this to me now?)
I didn't want to hurt you baby
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| | Posted 1/9/2008 2:25 AM - 17 views - 0 comments
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