| It's time to grade Round 6! I'm only 4 days late, so I guess that's ok.
I've enjoyed reading all the hypothetical gifts, and I picked the best one or two for each person to "unwrap", and whoever the gift is from gets 15 pts.
A few things before we start. Happy New Year guys! Anyone who doesn't know who Vinny Testaverde is will be beaten. And lose 10 pts. And then get to beat him, because he can't throw. Anyway..Amanda gets 30 pts because she participated, but read the directions wrong and her answers therefore don't make any sense. Anyone who participated for the first time this round gets 30 pts (that would be Machen and The Republic of Mike). Anyone who said hi to me that was on the list from the previous entry (Novak and the Republic of Mike) gets 20 pts.
The first person to open his gift is Kermit. Ever the smart frog, he checks the tag first. "It's from Kristin!" he reads. It looks like a giant ball of tinsel, but inside is Miss Piggy. He is naturally excited, because she told him she was going to be working on Christmas. However, he gets a little annoyed when she acts all hyper. Luckily, there's also a can of pepper spray in the tinsel, to calm her down! "Oh wow, Kristin, this is a great gift," he says. But wait, there's another present under the tree for him, this one from Richard. It's a lightsaber. "I can go as Yoda for Haloween!" he cheers. "The store was all sold out of lightsabers this year."
Santa Claus smiles, then looks surprised as Kermit hands him a gift. "A gift?" he asks. "For me?" The postmark is from The Republic of Mike. "Wow, someone shipped this from far away. And aren't they nice. The only person that ever gets me a present in Mrs. Claus. Usually I'm the one handing out gifts."
Vinny scoops up hs pile of presents, and tries to throw one to practice for his next game. Unfortunately, he knocks over a lamp, because he just can't throw. The box breaks, and angry Cowboys fans charge after him with pitchforks and lanterns, demanding his head and showering him with pink slips. He quickly tears open the next package and finds a hammer. He attempts to defend himself against the mob, but realizes the only way to save himself is to get on the injured list, so he whacks himself with the hammer. David, Richard, and Heather all cheer.
Courtney Cox steps up and announces "I'm pregnant! I'm so happy. I think I will name my second child Bam Bam!" In the back, Kristin giggles because she came up with that name. However, under the tree she finds an envelope adressed to Monica, but it's empty. All of a sudden, it begins to thunder outside. "It's my thunder!" she cheers. "Rachel returned my thunder!" But when she peeks outside, it's just David with a weather machine.
Johnny Damon opens his envelope, but it is also empty. All of a sudden, he feels a tingling in his head. "I can move the ball telekenetically!" he yells. "Haha Vinny, betcha wish you got this trick." But Vinny is still unconscious from his (un)fortunate run-in with the hammer.
John Kerry steps forward with his wife. He gets a strangely shaped package, which turns out to be a bottle of Heinz ketchup. There's a note inside that reads:
Dear John Kerry, Merry Christmas! Here's a bottle of Heinz ketchup, 57 varieties. One for each of your stances on an issue. Sincerely, Hasan. Ps-I voted for Bush.
John Kerry looks sad for a minute, then brightens as he turns to his wife and says, "Honey, you still look like a million bucks to me."
As Hasan finishes laughing over his prvious gift, he hands a card to Anna Nicole Smith. Inside is a coupon for a lifetime supply of silicone. "This is perfect," she sighs. The sigh sounds rather drug-induced, but everyone's used to it by now, so they don't say anything. "Now I can plump up all those areas where I lost weight with these miracle diet pills!" Oblivious, she steps outside. Monica's thunder has stopped, but it's still raining, and Anna shrieks in horror as her plastic parts begin to melt. "Oops," she giggles. "Forgot my umbrella from Richard.
Lawrnce Fishburn swaggers up to the tree, offering everyone around him red and blue pills. He keeps talking about how the white rabbit ran off with his sunglasses. Thankfully, in his card from Hasan, there is a gift card to the Oakley store. He swallows the red pill, and runs out the door.
As much as I loved all the presents everybody got me, I have to say Kristin wins this one. I got twelve presents from her, one for each of the Twelve Days of Christmas. Strangely, they're mostly birds. But there were a few hot guys, too.
I'll post new point standings in a second. Sorry this is so long :/
Kisses~K |
