Currently Listening Rabbit Songs By Hem see related

Kenya.  what? not a choice you made?  but those are dreams.  it's not exciting for you?  yes, but...so much i don't know.  in time, one learns.  an exercise in patience.  an exercise of my weakness?  yes, an exercise of your weakness.  you forget you don't go alone.  this is not about your ability.  from one community to another?  but how can i serve, participate, pay my dues?  but how can i give in such a state of weakness?  this isn't about you.  be the vessel.  be the clay pot.  this isn't your work to complete.     

what is reckless abandon? such is the life i want to live.    

two worlds collide and i will find myself between them.   

grace abounds.

nothing has ever given me a deeper appreciation for and awe of the Incarnation than reading the book of Revelation.   

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Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

mlk jr.

Currently Listening This Side By Nickel Creek see related

i use to think i'd be married by twenty-two.  i can confidently say i am not ready to get married, but it's funny to think how i imagined my life would be and how it is.  never having dated, it would appear things have turned out differently than expected.  this isn't even a bad thing, just hard to reconcile with expectations.  in so many ways i'm thankful for it, yet there's that little girl tugging at my heart, staring at the stars and smiling at the moon, wanting to be swept away.  there's that tension to be held between actively searching it out and not expecting it (and completely missing it) because i don't want to pursue anything before it's time, yet i'm terrified to think it could ever happen, therefore concluding that erring on the passive side means only a miracle of God's chosing will put me with the right man. 

it was funny to hear my pastor ask this morning (after 45 minutes of comfortably discussing theology) about my heart, and not in the religious sense.  i told him that being single generally doesn't bother me.  sometimes i have moments when i realize i'm alone and am shocked by how little it bothers me, how complete and content i feel.  but every once in awhile i realize i'm alone and feel something missing, like a part of my heart isn't quite complete.  i told him this, expecting him say, "focus on God and in His time."  instead he said, "yes, katherine."

               i'm scared of not meeting someone with whom i am naturally real and not subconsciously contrived, as in the ease of friendship; if i have to explain my every impulse and thought, it's not worth it.

it's all trust.  i say i'm not worried, but then again i'd rather not think about it.  contradictory? i'd rather not get hurt because i can't miss what i don't know...and yet i do.  

i've heard miracles happen. still not expecting, but hoping nonetheless. 

Currently Listening Red Letter Days By The Wallflowers see related

everyone can relate with feeling misunderstood.  sometimes it's just easier to put on a smile and entertain "them" than face the confused look, or the bored stare.

why do why revel in evil?  why WHY?????  it's so disturbing so strange, so sickening.  we do people choose to entertain themselves with horror.  it's not normal.  it's not healthy.  it's disgusting.  why are people allowed to make these movies?  they just get more sick and more weird every year, everyone trying to outdo the filmaker before them.  we don't draw back from evil like we should.  we don't hate it, abhor it.  why? WHY?  there are people being tortured in this world.  Evil is real.  Is it because we aren't faced with our own mortality everyday that we can watch it without emotion?  Are we so detached from what we put in our minds?  It's almost a decadence in it's own way.  Maybe we wouldn't be so flippent if we saw our own child shot before our eyes.  Maybe we wouldn't be so entertained if we saw the remains a totured body...or a tortured mind.  Maybe we wouldn't be so ignorant.   

why am i so angry/uneasy/jittery/confused?  there's an article in Time this week on the new genre of horror, the new horizon of gore.  it's made me physically sick to my stomach.  literally, i'm sitting here still shaking from what i read, knowing a lot of twisted minds with little conception of right and wrong will watch it.  Knowing that someone out there is even thinking those ideas.  Doesn't that scare anyone else? 

A part of me says I'm overreacting, but another part says anything outside of the excepted norms of society is considered overreacting.  People don't like to have their views challenged. 

i'm done.