i don't know why but i've been kinda emotional lately. its even coming through in my prayerlife. you know how sometimes when you go to pray, then something is stopping you or making you feel like you've got something to face or deal with before you can talk to god about regular stuff? well i was like that the other night. and out of nowhere i was thinking about my boss's dead son. and how its not fair that people can just be jerked out of your life with no notice at all. and i realized i was kinda mad at god about that. and that i feel kinda jipped about it. and i don't like living with a secret thought of the possibilty that the people i love could just drop dead. i mean it makes me a lot more aware to make every moment count and to cherish all the time i have with people & stuff but at the same time it makes me want to make sure i kiss & hug & blow a kiss goodbye to my husband every morning as he drives away to work just in case this is the day he doesn't come home safely. he does kinda the same thing with appliances. he always reminds me to unplug the toaster and blowdryer after i'm done and not to leave the house with the dryer on cause it could start a fire. it just makes me angry sometimes that caring about people makes us so vulnerable to pain and loss. i sometimes wonder if this is normal. if everyone thinks of death this way. especially when there are people who chose to serve in the military or in hospitals or hospice that willingly take on an increased risk of losing someone they care about. my mom died almost 25 years ago and i still feel like i couldn't handle a job like those. the other day my boss had to tell a 22-year-old guy that his mole was cancer that had already metastasized. its so unfair and stupid. it makes me want to just keep all my feelings to myself and not even take a risk to care about anyone. for self-preservation purposes, alone. but i know i can't. and i guess i don't really want to, either.it just really sucks sometimes.

so. i don't have to be at work today. but the power is out at home, thanks to stupid Fay and its hot and dark there. plus, for some reason when the power goes out, our carpet starts to smell like curry. weird, but ut happens every time. so I'm sitting at work with my dog who is totally freaked out by the storm, drinking a strange fruity mexican soda from the mexican store in our plaza. i just wanted something cold. the power at home has been out since 9am. sucky. grizzy is driving me nuts. he keeps pacing and rubbing against me and then pacing some more. i wish he would just chill the heck out, yo. that's about it on my homefront. peace out homies.

 this is where i spend 40 hours of my life each week:

and since I am still learning to style it, this is how my hair looks today with much less stuff in it than I have been using:

 

new hairstyles are so fun. I'd change it again if I had more hair left from last time.

 I have a friend who lives right next to the store!! Here's a few pictures of the little guy:

He's a Gopher Tortoise!!

Here's him going into his home (right at the side of the building)...

YAYAYAYAYAYAY! Now, what to name the little feller...hmm

I think I'm gonna go with Mo. Its short and sweet, like him.

TiMe foR sOmE PiCs oF mY nEw hAIrCuT ...

 

So the story about the hair is this:

I went to the spa I used to work at to get it cut. I went armed with 4 views of the haircut I wanted and left utterly disappointed, and looking like a mushroom-topped hairspray ball. It was so stupid. The lady just kept adding more and more hairspray and crunching it up, like one more crunch and it would be perfect. Gimme a break. I think we both knew that final, style-giving crunch would never come. I apologized all night to my husband who had no idea I was going to get it chopped. Then I showered out all the crap and all but cried about it.

Later last night after it air-dried, I went to the grocery store to buy some hair products to try to re-style it myself. I put some junk in it and it still looked dumb. So this morning, I would try to blowdry it. After a shower, I sprayed a little pump-spray gel (S Factor junk) in it, and blowdryed the entire thing upsidedown (until it was bone-dry). When I flipped it, it looked fly-away frizzy and awesome. I put a little goopy hair junk (Loreal texture-thingy) I bought on my finger tips and it clumped some hair together in places and made it more piecey. Then I hairsprayed it and was done! It all took less than 10 minutes. And my freakin' longer hair would take twice that time to blowdry! Sheesh, I was a sucker! So today I feel and look way hotter and LOVE my hair now.

Valerie thinks they made my hair look like crap on purpose because they hold it against me that I quit there. I didn't think they'd do that... but... maybe.

So at lunch I went back to the spa to find some kind of spray gel like the one I used this morning, since a friend gave it to me, and it was almost gone. Besides, if they did sabotage me I wanted to show them how hot I looked when I did it myself. They were almost angry-looking. Like, "oh, gosh, your hair actually does look good" kind of looks on their faces. Nobody looked pleased. And when I asked about a spray gel, they were really short with me and even said, "what do you want spray gel for?" and I told them to do my hair like it is now. hahaha. such punks. But it really does erk me to think they may have botched the job on purpose. How childish. Guess they don't want my money, huh? Whatev.

Anyways, I owe my hair success to this crap...