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Wednesday, July 02, 2008

  • hooplah

    So today is the 2nd of July...my 27th.  Its cool to know when people come to events it shows they care it doesnt matter about a simple card.

    Pretty much all I gots to say...going through some things...prayers would be appreciated...

    TYou

Friday, June 20, 2008

  • Update- Im keeping this short cuz I have to wake up in a couple of hours

    Been interesting.  Small group has been rewarding.

    Fathers Day was uhm interesting.  The middle of it fell really sour.  I had connected with my stepdad on the cell phone.  We really didnt have anything to say.  It seemed to meddle around the how are you good...how are you good..thing...you know.  After leaving that conversation I just felt really down.  Old feelings of worthlessness crept in and I felt depressed for a good while that day.  That night I had dinner at a couple from churches house and then went out on the driving range where I havent been in probably a good 4 to 5 years...I didnt do too bad.  I have been learning about perspectives a lot lately...about stepping back and looking at the big picture.  It can be easy to step back from the fathers day event and be like, "Crap i feel the same nothing has changed".  Stepping back and looking at it, my mentality about myself has changed a lot to where I dont have to buy into the lie that I am worthless and aimless (it wasnt anything that he said it was just the emotion my stepdad conveyed over the phone and I just took it very personal I guess).  Im on my way I guess you can say.

    Potential new job...the interview is next Tuesday..

    I had someone apologize to me today.  It was uplifting and something I didnt expect.

    Im done

    Good nite

Monday, June 09, 2008

  • The start of the summer......

    Work has been so slow its a little bit of a shellshock when you go from 23k to like $800 ha.  Currently I am working on a policy binder for the store as kind of a training manual.  When I am not doing that I am working on a new restaurant concept that will be at the school in the fall called the Laughing Tomato that focuses on natural local and organic food.  It has been such a well publicized concept that I really hope it lives up to its hype.  I also recently applied for another job on campus at Starbucks managing the new one that will be opening in the fall.  This would definitely be a challange for me because I still have things to learn but I would definitely be looking forward to it.  We will see I am one of 3 candidates so far.

    Church has been going well.  God has really been showing up during service.  God has been coming and healing people left and right during service.  And while I think miracles and awesome and great my hope is that people just dont settle for the miracles because that is such a small part of Him.  I have been leading a small group for a couple of months now and I have kind of hit a little bit of a snag.  Anyone know of any good devotional books or stuff that I could use?

    This upcoming week I am also getting involved in a small group that talks about living with same sex attractions.  This should be interesting as there will be a mix of people of those that have lived with them and some that haven't I am curious about the differing perspectives.

    Take Care Peeps,

    Kayz

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

  • Once we fully realize that we are loved and are a treasure God, there is no real reason to seek your worth from others...  

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

  • Stumbling around this mess I wonder I ponder dont really know which way to go what tomorrow will show how can I feel so low....sigh i dont think Ive ever felt really high asking the questions of why why

    Im stuck...ropes all in a mess tied around me like too tight of a whacked up dress...my heart wishing for a caress but its in a mess...

    a small hole at the soul of my heart which is falling apart

    I bawl yearning for the ropes to fall my faith seems oh so small but you hear my call you stretch out your hand your presence is something I can not understand...you speak and the ropes become weak the future doesnt seem so bleak

    as I attempt to stand u say hold out your hand when i reach out cannot understand what all this is about u pull me close your grace rubs my nose you your grace tickles my face 

    it is I  El shaddai that saw you in a bind yet I never want to leave you behind  

    in a moment where hope was something I thought was a gift I could never take..hope became awake as he threw into a fiery lake the ropes that bind the ropes that brake.

     

    ( this was spur of the moment so uhm yeah)

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