|
| Morbid Summer Air As I lie awake at this ridiculous hour, the waves of nostalgia splashing against my softened soul feel like daggers in yesterday's heart. I have wasted enough time and been complacent too long this summer, and I have done things that even I don't fully understand.
1) I bought a PSP
2) I learned how to use Linux
3) I screwed up my sleeping pattern
I don't know why these things really stick out. Maybe because they seem so pointless, but it's so much of my everyday life nowadays that I feel like my own life is being wasted on trivial pursuits. That and the knowledge that I'll be in Korea in about a month create this intense feeling that the year of college that I had just experienced is not coming back. It's a sad feeling, and a feeling that get's exaggerated talking with my cousin as he gets back from orientation. Remembering how I changed from a high school angst filled kid into a mature young-adult. Remembering how I made many international friends, and now my heart and mind are split and pulled halfway across the world. So many "firsts" that I can't believe it was only a year.
And all of this intensity falls flat on this summer. A wall of nothingness that slowly clings to my essence. An empty melody after an explosive overture. I had not seen a calendar in over three months... the sight was frightening. What happened to this time? Surely the pointless endeavors into Linux, the easier than easy summer classes, and the time-shifting relapsed sleep-pattern haven't gripped me so strongly my inner sense of time is distorted! But, as I look around at my-at the beginning of summer well kept, now unkempt-room, I think that maybe it has. I let myself slip into a mindset of a prior life, and the consequences are seen dire.
So, This following month I plan to get out often. A month before I go to Korea, and I'm going to make sure I'm in good health for when I arrive. Sub-par health and looking all pasty coming from Florida is not what I want to show my old friends hahaha! Also, I think it would be best to start studying again before I start attending school over there. I honestly miss the active learning, which is what probably sent me down this strange road to begin with. An unknown paradigm that can easily be explored to be found out?! Count me in! At least, that's how it appears the thoughts seem to have rambled.
On another note, I'm trying to sell my car, which is proving to be a most annoying hassle. I don't really care about the car, it'll be nice to have the extra money to pay off some of the expense of school, but it's just really annoying dealing with over five people who say they're going to buy the car and then don't come through. Not to mention the shady fellows that the internet seems to brew (thankyou craigslist!). Selling other random tidbits seems to take up some time too (with no buyers of course). I just wish I could get rid of the stuff now. I'm tired of having to worry about whether I can get rid of it before I leave... oh well though, it's time to start realizing the time and focus.
Although, I doubt I'll be getting any good sleep tonight.
| | |
| PSP TestTesting out the practicality of writing from the PSP. | | |
| and that's when i realized there shouldn't be anything in for myself. | | |
| !.TFilosofia
Aesthetics are wasted when nothing is said.
When this is said nothing appeals.
A lone thought lingers in the gripe of time.
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN OR THE WORLD WILL PASS YOU BY!!!
hiding behind metaphors seems to have become one of my favorite past-times, and, quite frankly, I've become rather tired of it. What do I really enjoy, and who the hell am I, really? Is English really sufficient to express these bounded terms, or have the last few years passed me by without my awareness to their beginning. Love? "Love is an intense feeling of affection related to a sense of strong loyalty or profound oneness. The meaning of love varies relative to context."
Well, I guess that leaves the relative nature of non-definitive ideas pushing against nerves in the ill-defined wrinkles of this brain.
Philosophy
| | |
| Yargh! So, I'd written this big long entry from my DS and then I accidentally deleted it... And I'm not typing all that again when my laptops right in front of me. Which leads me to: I found my DS over spring break and have decided to try to utilize it (I did get it as a gift for graduation after all.) The internet access I get from it is decent enough for me, and knowing that I can post on blogs and stuff is a good enough reason to keep it around (that and Mario Kart.)
I'M GOING TO KOREA!!!! I got accepted into the USF Study Abroad program, and now just have some minor paperwork to finish doing before applying (and safely assuming acceptance) into the Korean school. The biggest thing comes in with getting a job and working my ass off this summer so I have enough money to stay there for a year; with Bright Futures (a Florida scholarship thing) no longer being applicable to study abroad, I'm going to need to apply for some other ones and have enough of my own money. It's still really cool though, my friend got accepted as well and we'll have fun being lost in confused together.
School has been weighing in a bit of fatigue, but it's alright. I have a test this coming Thursday, and a big term paper due in April. I'm spending a lot of my extra time reading books and studying Korean (I want to be able to be in a better than the easiest Korean class!) My Aunt is getting married next weekend and I'll have family things fluttering around for a frenzied visit with everyone. But, all in all, things are good, and I'm excited about Korea.
| | |
|
Premium
