love sucks....he was my life....
KewlAssChick14
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Name: Jill
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: San Bernardino
Birthday: 7/2/1990
Gender: Female


Interests: Writting, Skating, playing my guitar, and chillin with friends. I've been writing for 4 years... so you can tell that's a major interest... And I guess that's it besides music...
Expertise: Writter, Skater, Guitarist...
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art


Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM: KissyMiss321
AIM: LostShadow335


Member Since: 5/1/2004

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KewlAssChick14

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  INSPIRATIONAL POETRY
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!!!~DEAD POETS SOCIETY~!!!
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Painting the sky red...
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Death's Desire
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 Tears of blood 
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*_* The Shadows Smile *_*
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! i love skater boys ! `'
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- Colouring in RED -
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Friday, August 04, 2006

Well... anything that is bad, that could happen... is happening...

I guess I just have to accept the fact that I have a bad life...


Thursday, August 03, 2006

well... things are still pretty mest up... I mean mikey just yelled at me last night and sed he doesnt love me anymore... whatever..

and... well im leaving friday morning even though I was suppossed to leave sunday, monday tuesday to day and tomorrow... LOL... people just cant make up their minds..

 

anyways... well I hurt... but I'm trying to be as strong as I can...


Sunday, July 30, 2006

Ya know what... there's a lot of shit, that you guys just dont fuckin know...
There's a lot of pain inside me that no one fuckin knows...
All this crazy shit goes through my head, and you'd be fuckin blown away if you did know!!! so here it is, i cant keep it in any longer...

I just lost my fuckin brother last month... whether you care or not, i cant stop fuckin thinking about it and even though i hold back all my sorrow about it i hurt so bad inside....

my family is falling apart, hell im even loosing my other brother becz he doesnt want to live with us anymore... and my sister is practiaclly on the verge of killing herself too! so wtf?

Oh and to top off my family problems, my parents are splitting up! great right? just fuckin great.... its just me and my mom now... and it hurts so fuckin bad...

but to top it aaaaaalllll off, the icing on the fuckin cake.... Mikey... ooh wonderful wonderful mikey.... he turned around, cheated on me, became obsessed with the chick he fucked, so i had to break up with him... and i thought that it was bad already... NOPE! he turns arounds... and now he is.... wait im not allowed to say anything... but her fuckin picture is on his my space now... whatever!!!

i give up.... fuck it!

i cant hide this pain anymore.... you know how bad i just want to cut open my fuckin wrists and bleed to death??? do you??? NO!

no one knwos... and no ones cares!!!!

FUCK IT!


Monday, July 24, 2006

Forever was in your eyes...

So, here it is... life.

Unexplanable, and unpredictable...

I broke up with Mikey, but we still act like we're together... for example, cuddling, kissing, blah blah... you know what I mean.

I think it has helped him understand though because it hurts him to know I could kiss another guy now if I wanted. It hurts him because another guy could hold me now. It hurts him because I could do anything with anyone and it kills him. And I'm going thorugh 10 times worse the pain, so he finally understands...

I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason, and I have faith in Mikey no matter what happens or what other people say...

It's gonna get tougher no doubt, but looking to a bright future doesn't hurt anyone.

So I guess you can say I'm both happy and sad... I'm depressed but inspired.... it's weird.

I love Mikey more than anything in this world and without him I just wouldn't be able to go on the little that I am.

I'm moving back to New Jersey this week... and I'm going some where in New Jersey that I haven't lived yet.

So anew high school, neighborhood, people , friends... errg...

Ah well, sometimes change is good, and maybe I'll meet some really kewl people.

So pray for me... and my family in this hard time for them...

And pray that my brother is finally in peace... R.I.P. Steven Cunningham

<3

laterz


Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Tell me, what do you do when it all falls apart?

Well, everything is just a roller coaster and so is my health, emotions, and disease status.

My friend momma hooked me up to a machine thing that tells you everything about your health, your emotions, your thoughts, and feelings.

You cannot hide from this machine and it knows me better than I know my self.

My heart is hurt, my brain can't except it, my power, joy, and enthusiasum have been shot down while my world is high on despair and hopelessnes..

I'm in denial, I know in my sunconsious the truth, but in verbal thought I don't know it and I'm in denial for it.

I'm being overly obsessive with love, and I'm greedy for wanting mikey.

I even got to talk to my brother thorugh this machine.

He tried to send me different messages but we didn't know how to read them.

We were able to read these words in varies messages but we could not make out the message:

Eat, hello, may, maybe, vary, up, until, ever, time, kiss, Stop, yes, upon, act, observe, no, and you.

We have no idea what he was trying to say, but he was saying something...



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i fuckin love you.... whatever...

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