KiSsEs_n_HuGs14u's Xanga

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 20:09:58 GMT

well i never use xanga anymore. lol..but for some reason i just feel like writing away in somje journal even tho ppl cud read this if they really wanted to. so..lets see..so much has changed since last year..i fell completely in love and got soo hurt and now am still utterly in love and probaly will be for awhile. he misses me tho =[ ..alot more than he shows lol. well besides all that im ready to start this year off and start my life over..a fresh, new, clean start. i want to make somthing of myself this year...and thats exactly what im going to do.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 13:41:17 GMT

in my mind; i'll always be his lady.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Sun, 15 Jan 2006 17:34:05 GMT

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Sat, 31 Dec 2005 07:20:36 GMT

I'VE FOUND ALL I'VE WAITED FOR AND I COULD NOT ASK FOR MORE <3

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 15:43:05 GMT

Current mood: crushed

well for about a week or so i guess you could say ive been the most HAPPIEST GIRL ever..i mean i had been sad for weeks and then met him and started talkin to him and everything was perfect..me and him were both so happy until now..for some reason everything is starting to go wrong and me and him have no way to talk 2 eachother..can u say FANTASTIC... not...this is terrible..i mean u can ask everyone ..all my friends i was FINALLY so happy and soo excited..and now this happend and everything is crashing downnnnnn..and i feel sad and i feel pathertic..and i feel let down and like i just knew this would happen..i just knew that things cudnt go PERFECT just once for me..right now i dont care about anything..just being with him and is getting through this..hes all i want..i want me and him to be happy and for everyone to be happy for us..so until then ill be waiting and i wont let go

Monday, December 05, 2005

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 16:31:40 GMT

hello everyone

sorry i havent been writing so much has been going on..have u ever felt like noone tho there were tons of people around..and felt so down that u cud just lay there and cry and not care what anyone thinks..in just 1 month..ive been backstabbed by a good friend..played by a guy that meant alot 2 me..and so much more..i wish for just one day everything could go perfect ..i mean do i deserve what im going through?! sam has been there for me all the way and i really want 2 thank her..same with megan tho shes miles and miles away shes still tryin to cheer me up .she turns 16 on the 8th and i shud be with her ahh it kills me cuz i miss her soo much!!..but yeah ,...to all of you ppl that have brung me down the past few weeks i want you 2 know..you cant bring me down anymore..im gonna keep my head up ..with or without u ..ill be happy again and one day youre gonna look around and need me and i wont be there..the choice was urs..I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT..

leave me comments =]

love

joshlyn

i bet you never imagined,
that one day, you'd look around,
& i just wouldn't be there.

you ran outta my life and i'm so thru with you.
i wanted you to be there right here with you

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 12:03:45 GMT

Well, I'll wait till you listen
I won't say a word
to follow your instincts
just never worked for me
oh, you're silent but strong, (yeah, I'm playing that card)
and you're noticing nothing again

Now I'm lying on the table
with everything you said
keep that in mind, the way that it felt
when the most I could do was to just blame myself

(Feel it out for once and feel nothing like everyone else)
when the most I could do was to just blame myself
and I know you know, everything
I know you didn't mean it
I know you didn't mean it

I know you know, everything (drop everything)
I know you didn't mean it (start it all over)
I know you didn't mean it (remember more than you'd like to forget)

So, we're talking forever
and you almost feel better
but, better's no excuse for tonight
you see, it's never bad enough
to just leave or give up
but, its never good enough to feel right

Now I'm lying on the table
with everything you said
it will all catch up eventually
well, it caught up and honestly
the weight of my decisions
were impossible to hold
but they were never yours
they were never yours

Well I, know you know, everything
I know you didn't mean it
I know you didn't mean it

I know you know, everything (drop everything)
I know you didn't mean it (start it all over)
I know you didn't mean it (remember more than you'd like to forget)

Drop everything, start it all over
remember more than you'd like to forget [x2]

Would you like to forget? [x2]
drop everything, start it all over
well, drop everything start it all over (would you like to forget)
drop everything start it all over
start it all...

Well I, know you know, everything
I know you didn't mean it
I know you didn't mean it

I know you know, everything (drop everything)
I know you didn't mean it (start it all over)
I know you didn't mean it (remember more than you'd like to forget)

I know you know
I know you know...you know, you know, you know...

by the way..

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 20:15:41 GMT

heyy ..

feeling for the night=Ive learned the hard way to never let it get that far

well today i got DOUBLE promted so be proud of mee... i wish my dad was home but hes not..but yeah it was fun hangin with everyone..

but yeahh i had zach..katherine..charles..jake and brea over and it turned ito a wreck for me i dunno whats goin on with me im not myself...its crazzy and im beginning to hate it! i just wish ppl understood me morrree..maybe im too confusing ..WHO KNOWS haha..but yeahh..i mean its like everytime i wake up im just like greatttt!!..Another day. Another night. Another year. Another smile. Another lie. Another tear.

I LOVE YOU!

comment..

p.s- i appreciate it dearly that JAKE and CHARLES were there for me tonight ..i love u both alot..more than..your mom!! =]

I can't stand him hurting me. I just can't stand him using me but unlike him, I just can't walk away. I can't forget what we had. It's not that easy for me to let go of something that was once my life. I guess it actually mattered to me. The feelings that are the most painful are the ones that nobody can explain, no quote can describe, and no tears or smiles can make them go away. They're the ones that hurt the deepest, the ones that last the longest, and take forever to forget about.

I know he doesn't want to be with me. He wants to be with her. So I'm not going to interfere, I'm just going to sit back && watch my whole world disappear.

& it's times like these that I just want to spill my heart out to the world just so you know how I feel about you.

I know if I keep my distance you'll see what you're missing

I've waited here for you. Don't keep me waiting. I feel safe with you. I can be myself tonight. It's alright with you because you hold my secrets tight

Swallow your tears, stand up on your own two feet. You're not giving up.

The first time I kissed you, I'll never forget, I was gripping onto your shirt so tightly, because I was afraid. My lips slowly met yours, and it was like everything was going to be okay.

I don't know if I want to go down this road again, last time it was filled with pot holes, filled with bumps, it wasn't a smooth ride, and as far as I know, nothing has changed. It will still lead to the same place it did before. I'll still end up at a dead end with a broken heart.

The hardest thing in life is deciding whether to try harder or to just walk away.

Well, what am I supposed to think? You're like the king of mixed signals. One day you can't stand me. The next day you can't get enough of me.

P.S.S--- sorry i just wanted quotes and icons im obsessed with themmm...

Friday, November 04, 2005

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 13:04:29 GMT

heyy..

well last nite o went 2 WITCH MOUNTAIN with everyone again..it was me ..ashley.. zachary.. josh.. charles.. john(swanson).. jake.. jesse.. taylor.. carter ..but yeah since it had rained it was all muddy and slippery and i dont even know how many times i fell haha and everyone had 2 help em up and stuff ..but yeah it wasnt as scary as last nite just fun.. we just walked around .. playin around acting stupid.. yanno the usual..had fun tho ..mhm?? whate else..my pants are liek soooo muddy and dirty..and so are my shoes ahh..but we got home around 11;30 and jake and zach ended up comin 2 my house 2 watch the notebook and so was hobbit..josh and charles but never showed up haha..but yeah jake fell asleep and was sleepin the whole time i slept for like 20 minutes and so did zach..ashley went 2 sleep and yeah then i woke up and was just talkin 2 zach and then around 2-2:30 zach woke up jake and went home so yeah thats about it with my xciting nite haha..imma go clean up my room haha

commentz..

mwahh

joshlyn

ps.last nite was gggrrrreeeattt =]]]]]

COMMENT!

here we go again
with the mixed signals
&& second thoughts

So. How do you know you
are what he really wants
or you are the replacement
to something he can't have``?

...

ps. this is me bein retarded before homecoming thats why my face is all puckered up and cAraZZy..!!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Sun, 30 Oct 2005 07:11:55 GMT

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

heyy everyone well trick or treatin was last nite cuz we celebrate it on the 29th here??!! haha but yeah so lets see i watched O.C all day cuz im like obsessed with that show. then i got ready..went 2 ashleys..went trick or treating.. haunted house well we waited in a line for an hour and 1/2 and then finally got in and it wasnt even scary but yes it was fun haha me and katherine kept asking some guy if he wanted 2 make-out haha HILARIOUS! anywayz then..umm had 2 take care of sum stuff with my mom and kayla and then came home..katherine and brea stayed the nite zach and charles came over from like 1130- about 2 and we watched a walk to remember it was fun but not as fun as i had hoped oh well there will be many other times.. oh and i stole zachs hat haha he still doesnt know i have it but hey what can i say im just that slick =]! haha then we walked charles home and came back ate ice cream had a long talk and went 2 bed cuz we were TIRED haha it was fun! but now its sunday and i need 2 go study for my PROMOTION BOARD on wed. ahh im scared WISH ME LUCK and cmon guys START LEAVIN COMMENTS!!

=] comments please

Sooner or later, we'll be looking back on everything and we'll laugh like we knew what was happening all along and someday, you might listen to what people have to say, but for now... You'll learn the hard way.

Everyday, I miss the you that I used to know... Before you let me down... Before you let me go.

I don't want to talk to you, yet, you're all I can thnk about. I don't want to hear your voice, but yet, all I want to hear is you say my name. I don't want to see you, yet, I'm hoping that if I do, I will fall for you all over again.

I'm not afraid of heights; I'm afraid of
falling. I'm not scared of the dark; I'm
scared of what's in it. I'm not afraid to
love; I'm afraid of not being loved back.

I bite my tongue every time i start to say what I really feel in my heart...

don`t come crying to me
when people are treating you like i never used to.

.&& i think i know enough about love to know one day you're gonna break my heart...

....&& every time i talk to you...its something special...

yes, i am proud to admit i still
love the jerk who broke my
heart