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| ic~!....
pt x: My entire life revolves around doctors apointments, add a few months here and there...I see you more times then I see my grandchildren, frankly I rather see more of them then you...
me: All set, I'll see you next week sir, same time
pt x: Great, want my sandwich?
***lala so dead...was talking about this site...***
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| sighz~!....so recently a fellow family friend....my dad's best friend's wife was diagnosed with lung cancer...she never smoked in her entire life, perfectly healthy besides being overweight but discovered a lump on her neck....only to had it check and found to be cancerous and worse of all...the cancerous tissue originated from her lungs....yup...she had lung cancer for a while and she never knew and now it has mets...from experience, i know her time is short
oddly enough, my dad brought me over to their house and wanted me to discuss about her cancer and her options...obviously i am unqualified to offer her any medical advice but she was glad that i put in some effort...even thou i normally speak and interact with cancer patients daily...this one was different...a much closer at home feel...i couldn't help feeling powerless and out of comforting words...next week i will see her again...but this time not in her home as a guest but in my hospital as an patient/test-subject....i can now only pray and hope that her time to go will be delayed as long as possible...
hows my job going? well...it feels good to be back in a academic stimulating environment and not in a cube all day but i feel that i am not doing enough nor capable of doing more to help....previously in my last job...i never interacted with patients...they were merely numbers in my spreadsheets..their life and story exposed to me on their scans...their lives were not that significant...only their data...it was easy updating spreadsheets of patients going from a 1 to 0 (0 as in dead)...now i get to see and share the pain of seeing my specimans go from 1 to 0 firsthand....
***rest in peace Os and i'll see you in the morning and the next visit 1s....***
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| lala~!
feeling so poor lately!...so in the 4 months i been home since i left my previous job, my savings have taken a noticeable dip...as seen in the chart below or here...and here i am now wondering what the hell did i spent that money on?! gee...was all those dimsum that expensive? erf...
***i wonder how everyone is doing up in pilgrim town aka boston and how the bossladies are doing  ***
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| should i? shouldn't? what to do~!?...
if all fails, i guess i could take the kimchi way out of things...
me (10:23:18 AM): heh, my eyes are pretty tired these days, need some rest
bosslady (10:23:26 AM): take a vaca
bosslady (10:23:30 AM): take next week off
bosslady (10:23:31 AM): haha
me (10:23:59 AM): heh, heads or tails, pick one
bosslady (10:29:59 AM): sorry
bosslady (10:29:59 AM): heads
me (10:30:37 AM): heh, thx chloe...it is heads
bosslady (10:30:58 AM): oh
bosslady (10:30:58 AM): haha
bosslady (10:30:58 AM): so when are you taking it?
me (10:31:54 AM): you will be the first one to know, don't tell anyone yet but im done here
bosslady (10:32:14 AM): oh!
bosslady (10:32:21 AM): when?
bosslady (10:32:24 AM): where are you going?
bosslady (10:32:26 AM): 
bosslady (10:33:00 AM): everybody is leaving
bosslady (10:33:04 AM): sniff sniff
me (10:33:19 AM): gonna go back to nyc, i have some things to take care of that i been neglecting for years
bosslady (10:33:32 AM): oh
bosslady (10:33:34 AM): i c
bosslady (10:33:56 AM): must have been a hard decision
me (10:34:21 AM): yea, but you helped
bosslady (10:34:27 AM): lol
bosslady (10:34:31 AM): really just now?
bosslady (10:34:34 AM): that was quick
me (10:34:59 AM): well not really just now, been debating for a while
bosslady (10:35:24 AM): hm....
another chapter of my life comes to a end, what will the future holds for me as i retreat back home defeated, broken, and battered...will i be accepted in open arms or spat at...who knows...stay tuned for the next amazingly dull episode of my so call life...
To Be Continue...
*** in the end, i didn't have the courage to take the final step...but glad someone was around and helped, thx bosslady***
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| melting~!....hot...so hot...steaming >.<
this country (germany) does not have any ac cuz its not enviormental friendly and there are no screens on their windows...tons of bugs eating me when i sleep....eh what ever....im more then willing to increase the size of the ozone hole above antartica and risk it so that my great grandson has a higher risk of skin cancer for a bit of more comfort....yea im that selfish!
but yea...for the ppl that don't know...im am currently in germany working for a few weeks....hahha yup...im "working"..but yea...europe is weird...everything comes in small portions but with high prices....the food portion is small...ppl think im some fat guy with a eating disorder since i order seconds....the cars are smalll...aka shopping carts....i take up the entire back...yup im a fatass these days...the shower is small....i have just enough room to rotate my body and soap my back....so no soap for you toes....beer is more plentiful and cheaper around here then food and comes in 100+ different varieties....gogo beer diet...
having things that is "new york" is chic....but looks nothing a new yorker would actually wear nor eat....their fast/junk food is turkish food...and the turks here are like the latinos of america....the fav and hip thing to eat here is slice sausage (a hotdog really) and french fries served with ketchup....oh wells...see ya guys in a few days in the states
ps...so anyone want to pick me up from the airport...i need a ride home >.< johnny? eileen? alan? .....
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