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| Saying My Last Goodbyes....So Saturday Morning, Jamie, Stacy, Tierra, and I all went to Tulsa to say our last goodbyes to our friend Kyonna Blades. When we got there we when to Wal-Mart and bought some faux flowers to put into the ground around her headstone and the cup on top of it. We traveled to Skiatook, OK and one we found it we all just sat in silence for a moment. It was so beautiful, but also scary because reality set in. She is no longer here with us. Last night I had the hardest time sleeping too. I just couldn't stop thinking about her last days here. I even had a dream that she was alive again, yet still sick, and just slept a lot but was still her normal happy-self. I the back of my mind I knew what the inevitable was, but I of course never said anything, just thought about it. I just wished that I could have been there more for her like I wanted and said I would be. I will never again let my procrastination, or work get in the way of something that I know is important to me. I never thought things would end this way. I truly only wanted the best. I try not to feel regretful, but I can't help but. I know that she was happy we all came to see her yesterday and I am sure she heard all of our individual prayers and conversations to her. I will be making another trip in the future to see her, sooner before later of course. And I know that she will be watching us all and guiding us in life. LOVE YOU GIRL! ~KiNa
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| Never Make a Promise, That I Can't Keep....So yesterday at about 5:40pm my friend Tierra called and says "Hey, do you remember Kyonna Blades?" "Yes, my Kyonn-er!" I exclaimed. "Well, did you know that she died?" was her reply. My mouth dropped in shock and disbelief. It can't be God. The hard part was not in finding out that she had died, but that she had died back in August! I can't be mad that I did not know though, for I hadn't spoken with Kyonna since an event at OSU back in April. I just feel like I am kicking myself and blaming myself for being so selfish and procrastinating. I seriously never thought that I would never see her again. She beat it once, I figured she would beat it againa nd that there would be plenty of time left to chill. I was wrong. I remember us staying up until like 2 or 3 am eating McDonald's and just talking about life, boys, music, just whatever. If it weren't for Kyonna, I would have never know the website "hotghettomess.com" existed! lol It was her vicarious nature, her free-to-be attitude and personality that I will so miss. I remember the day she told me that her cancer had returned. I just knew she would make it. She was too much woman to not. She had to stop attending school to make hospital appointments and treatments. For months I would tell her that I was coming to visit her. My procrastination got the best of me and I never did. I rememeber talking to her when she was in Dallas for treatments and still she knew what to say to make me smile. She told me about all the sexy chocolate male doctors that were there (haha). I remember chatting for hours in the computer lab at like 6 am and the times when I worked at the front desk in Bennet and she would come down to visit and keep me company in the middle of the night. A true friend. I was so glad to have met you, girl. I have learned a very valuble lesson though. Never put off tomorrow what I can do today. I would have travelled 100 miles to see Kyonna had I not been so selfish and over-confident. I love you girl & I know that you forgive me. God took you away to that you could set an example and sit with him and the other angels. I Love ya ~SheKina | | |
| The Ultimate Sacrafice!Hey Peoples! So today was Easter and it was sooooo AWESOME! Of course church as packed thanks to the CME's (Christmas- Mother's Day- Easter ONLY people), but still, it was cool. At church the children and young adults put on the play "The Gospel According to Luke" and it was so great (well to be honest it was a little ghetto and not that well put together) but we all got the point!!!!! Just seeing and feeling what Jesus was put through just so that we could all be saved and have the opportunity to be forgiven of our sins before they even occur, THAT'S LOVE!
My favorite song that was sang today (and often at my church) goes like this...
Jesus went to Calvary
to save a wretch
like you and me
That's love!
That's Love!
I love it! Thank you Lord for eveything in my life both past, present & future. I know that if I keep on the path you have shown me, no matter what the devil puts me thorugh, I will PREVAIL!
I love you guys! God & His Son are awesome! Love ya ~ KiNa | | |
| Love Is Such A Crazy ThangWell I can't say Im in love, but I can say that I am beginning to love him. Calvin and I have been talking to each other since like Septemeber and we plan on spending some time with one another at the end of July due to his internship and my summer course taking.
He's such a great guy and I can't help but continuously ask myself. Do I really deserve a great guy? I know it sounds dumb, but do I? And if so, why? It baffles me everyday as to why he appreciates me so and why he likes me so much. I really don't know why. I mean, I know I am a great girl, but is it really possible for someone to love me? Is it really possible for someone to me to have genuine feelings for another persona and they actually have the same feelings back for me? It's odd, but I hope that things go into the right diretion for us. I'm just going to leave it up to God and if he see's it fit for me to have Calvin, then I will.... Have a great day!
EXTRAS: Here is a sample of an emailt hat I got from him the other day. Isn't it so sweet?!?
Email Start:
Hey stinky! I miss u much.
How is your day going? How was class/work?
What did you wear to school?
I'm still sick, I wish u were here to make it all better.
Your such a beautiful and sweet young lady; I'm glad that your my friend and I thank you for liking me so much.
Talk later?
CJ
Email End.
See it is little things like that that make me smile! ~*~Kisses~*~ | | |
| Put that Ass On Pause!What up!!!!!!!!!! SO finally I have uploaded my SB pics for all you NON-facebookers! haha! I had a great Spring Break. I went to Bev. Hills, Bel Aire, Santa Monica, San Diego, LA, Malibu, and so many other places. California really is my DESTINY! I love it! SO last night Jon'nae, Twinkie and I went out to Murphy's for some drank and conversation and we had a blast as always! Looking all good and stuff, y'all know how we do it! lol We ended the night at Willie's doing karaoke with all of the drunk white guys lol. When they get drunk they get pretty "familiar" with the black girls...mmhmm.....they say truth comes from the bottle...lol I dunno though.
****The Images Servers are being updated by Xanga, so you'll have to wait.....****
Anyways, we were starving afterwards and went to the new All-American pizza place where u can get a large for like 5 dollars and some change. It was like 2am and the owner was just so kind. We told him that he looks like Tim Robbins (cause he does) and that he is forever deemed our "dad". Especially after he made us all individual medium pizzas when all we asked for was a large. lol He's awesome! Annnnyyyywho...enjoy your weekend! love yas! ~KiNa | | |
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