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Kinremo
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Country: United States
State: Minnesota
Metro: Minneapolis
Birthday: 8/24/1980
Interests: Long walks on the beach and living the High Life.
Expertise: Fly fishing and happy hour specials
Occupation: Retired
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
4/7/2005
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| Running with the Devil
Last week I found myself in two places where I haven’t been
in quite some time: a fitness center and a church. Sunday morning rolled around and for once I hadn’t slept past
noon and my head wasn’t unbearably sore, so something compelled me to go to
church. One might say I was moved, as
if by a “higher power.” (Picture me making quotation fingers ala God Warrior
part One). Although I went to a nice
conservative little Lutheran church in South Minneapolis, as soon as I sat
down, I looked to my right and noticed the kid sitting in the next pew over had
a meticulously styled, sweet, pointy Mohawk.
It really made me appreciate living in the city. Let’s just say that that sort of thing would
not happen amongst the 35 people that regularly attend my mother’s church.
I also spent an evening at the brand new Lifetime Fitness
facility in Plymouth, Minnesota. I only
went because I was lured with the promise of a free smoothie. Really, who would turn down a free smoothie? We were actually planning on playing
racquetball, but when we got there we discovered that the racquetball courts
were closed for resurfacing. As it
turns out, I did not get my free smoothie either because by the time we were
leaving, the juice bar was closed too.
Double bust.
So far off to a bad start.
The upside, though, was that I did get to experience one of those “make
you smile to yourself for days after” moments that one can only really
experience at the Lifetime Fitness in Plymouth.
Shortly after we arrived and discovered that we could
not play racquetball, we decided to play some basketball. There were only four of us though, and that
didn’t last, which really only left one thing to do in a fitness center, which
is to work out. Uug. I took my place on one of the many
elliptical machines within the endless rows of treadmills, Stairmasters and
stationary bikes, and set the timer to 30 minutes. I totally got into the sweet music videos that were playing and
before I knew it I was flying past the 27-minute mark, so I figured I should
get ready to cool things down. At that
moment I also noticed that a very attractive (the “she must work-out” type)
girl got on one of the treadmills in the row ahead of me. Right next to her was a middle-aged nerdy
Asian fellow also running on a treadmill.
They were both into their workout, when out of nowhere the nerdy guy
farted so loud that he kind of jumped immediately looked over at the hot girl
to see if she had noticed. He seemed
really surprised. That fart just came
out of nowhere. You could really tell
that he did not see that one coming. He
was just minding his own business, trying to get in a decent run, and then,
Bam! His shorts are feeling a little
wet. The good news is that the hot
chick had headphones on and didn’t seem to notice. Thank God for the IPod. | | |
| Today
I realized that I haven't been reading any blogs lately and also that
SammieJane1 just got home from her super slutty Spring Break trip, so I thought
I would check in until I discovered that I couldn’t read about a super slutty
Spring Break because someone has enabled XangaLock. This would not be a big deal, except that I couldn’t remember my
password... My dear friend Xanga, it has
been too long. I am sorry that those
big ho-bags Facebook and MySpace distracted me. They mean nothing to me.
Really. I promise I will be
better, just give me one more chance. It is just that I have been so busy with
my job at the dirty hippie environmentally friendly building store. And, I am getting ready to go back to school
because I was accepted into the Masters of Education program at the U, which
starts this summer. (By “getting ready” I really mean “celebrating”
and going out to many many happy hours, which I may not be able to do as much once I
start having to learn again.) So that
is why I haven’t written. I even got a
letter from Donald Trump yesterday personally inviting little ole me to some
sort of a party at the Airport Hilton.
He must know I like to party.
Anyway, I figured that he is very busy and if he has time to write then I so do I. I will do better. | | |
| What's in a name?
I just received a press release about a new club that is
opening in Minneapolis, and when I read it, a few questions came to
mind. I will wait until the end to pose my question. (And yes I do
get press releases and do keep up with the Minneapolis club scene in case all
of you didn't already know that.) Here is the relevant part:
To all the local press,
We are writing to let you know about *Pi*, an exciting new queer women’s
social club opening in Minneapolis. Pi will have full restaurant
service from 4 pm to 10 pm, specializing in what chef Steph Hedrick,
formerly of The Independent, describes as “urban, mostly organic and
vegetarian fare with meat options”. From 10pm to 2am, The “Pi Hole”
will serve a selection of appetizers and smaller plates...
I really feel that there is possibility for endless comment
here, so to start the discussion I ask, does anyone have any thoughts on the
choice of name for the late night restaurant area of this new
establishment?
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| Holy Sweet Goddamn!
Alright alright. Now
that the weather is cooling down and I have finished watching most of the
television that I have on DVD I guess it is time for me to get back into this
blog thing also. So much awesomeness
has happened in the past month that I just don’t know where to begin. My birthday was quite a bit of fun and I got
a lot of sweet stuff like a dartboard and Rick Springfield’s Greatest
Hits. Now, I know that most of you are
expecting me to say that my past month has been consumed by me spending entire
days with that CD on repeat, practicing for the World Tournament of Darts, but
unfortunately, I haven’t been able to do that because two days before my big
day I had a bit of a bike accident and now am left with an AC separation in my
right shoulder. A month later I am
still pretty useless, and the only thing that I can lift over my head is my own
arm, but even that is an improvement.
Three weeks until my next dodgeball tournament. I guess we will just have to wait and see
how that one works out.
Other awesomeness over the past month:
Twins win and Detroit loses, which leads to a day game
tomorrow, which I will be attending due to the fact that it is a day game and
Emily’s father works for a living. Woo Hoo!
We travel to Purdue to see the Gophers lose (weird), but
still get to stay in possibly the worst hotel in the state, which was
awesome. There were five of us in a
smoking room with one tiny bed and stains on the floor, but at least I found a
very pretty lady under the bed.
Probably the high point of September though, was my trip to
San Francisco. I was there for only a
week, but I too fell in love, so Sammie, hands off, I saw her first. Just a few of the things that happened while
there include having a fancy four course meal on the top floor of the tallest
building in the city, riding on a bus that almost went careening off a very
steep cliff, seeing two whales (a mother and cow) double breech 15 yards from
our boat, and getting lots of free stuff at a delicious restaurant just because
we had to wait to be seated.
Sweet. I also did all the
touristy stuff like go to Alcatraz, get my picture taken in front of the Golden
Gate Bridge, stand in the Haight Ashbury intersection, see some gays, and hug a
giant tree; all in all a very well rounded trip. I will have to go back someday, but my next trip to California
will have to be to visit Phil and see the Price is Right before Bob dies.
Finally, I started subbing for St. Louis Park last
week. I guess I had to start
contributing to society once again. The
IRS will be pleased, I’m sure.
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I went to the track today and lost $5. I now know that I am not very good at
betting on horses. Yet another
disappointing failure in my quest for the perfect new career. Damn it.
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