I wish my parents hadn't had me.  They wanted children, but I don't think they wanted me.  I was never good enough for my Mom, and all my Dad ever did when he wasn't ignoring me was telling me how ugly, stupid, and generally bad I was.  They love me because they have to, because it's what looks right to the rest of society.  They had me because it was expected of them to have children, becuase they were in the correct point in their life and socioeconomic bracket to be worthy of procreation.  I wish they'd just skipped me. 

They've always been nice to my brother, no matter what he does, they've had nothing of praise for him.  I don't understand what I ever did to them, why they could never be nice to me.  I've worked my entire life to make them happy, but was never good enough for them.  And now, I don't know how to make myself happy.  I wish my parents would stop caring, I wish they could just understand that I don't want to live anymore.  I live my life currently so taht no one who I associate with would care of I died.  Except for my parents, no one would really be affected if I stopped existing.  I wish they would just stop caring, I wish that I could just die without hurting anyone.  I don't want to live anymore, but no one will let me die. 

People always tell me the most selfish thing to do is commit suicide, but what about making someone continue to life when they have absolutely zero pleasure in life.  My life is pain, disappointment, and abandonment.  I want people to stop caring, I want to be allowed to end my life, I have nothing to live for.  I simply want to end it now, instead of spending the next few decades faking pleasure in life, only to suffer alone inside my own head.

I want to die.  I want to just go to sleep and not wake up one morning.  I want it all to be over.  I want to kill myself, but I also don't want those around me to be hurt. 

Someone just shoot me, please.