wow havent actually written about my life in here in a long time

wellllll.
my very last first day of school is in a week! i'm excited, nervous, dreading it, pumped for it, loving it and hating it all at the same time. i'm so eager to get out of high school. i just really dont like high school at all. but at the same time once high school is over i feel like after that comes adulthood. and i'm not so sure if i'm ready to leave the comfort of home yet. this time next year i will have packed my bags and moved out. i will literally never live here again. the life i've lived up to this point will completely change. its hard for me to grasp that concept. its not hitting.
but i still have another year so it doesnt really have to hit me yet. which is good :)

so chrysalis.
this past flight changed me. so much.
it made me realize how i need to spend more time with God. not just because its the right thing to do or because i might feel obligated. but i genuinely want to. He's a cool guy! and He wants to hang out with me. He's not gonna bail at the last minute. what an awesome God!
i became really close to one girl from chrysalis and unfortunately she left for college last week. it was devastating for me. i felt like we timed that friendship horribly. but in reality, our friendship came at the perfect time. she helped me out in ways she doesnt even know. but i'm grateful for it. God always times stuff like that so perfectly.
on chryalis it just hit me. God spoke to me. i'm called to some form of ministry. i think i always knew it, but i wasnt sure if thats what I wanted to do with my life. but thats exactly the problem. i was thinking about what I wanted, and not what God was calling me to do with my life. but He finally opened my eyes to that and now i'm really excited to see what He's got in store for me! i know my life is gonna be so fun as long as God's in complete control of it :) He did such wondrous things that weekend. i've never cried so much on a chrysalis weekend. and i've been to 4 of them. its like...i knew what was coming and what was happening, but God just opened my eyes to new things. and its kind of ironic, because thats what i pray for for all the caterpillars. i pray that chrysalis will allow God to be revealed to them in new ways. and God did that for me. what an awesome guy!

this year i really am just trying to focus on school and my faith. i'm really kind of excited for my classes. is that nerdy of me to say? probably, but i really am. i think they'll be challenging but thats what i need. and i think they'll be fun. i'm especially excited for child development! that will be such a great learning experience for me! like i said, i'm really eager to get out of high school. but i think going into this year with the mindset of just doing what i need to do and getting past it will be helpful. i just really want to please God in all that i do this school year and move on to bigger and better things that He's called me to do. i'm so excited for it!

well i think that pretty much raps everything up for now.

1. Who is the last person you held hands with?
um. probably somebody in a prayer or something. idk.

2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
probably not

3.Do you sleep with the T.V on?
no

4.Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
not a milk drinker

5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
not that i can remember

7. Are you a fast typer?
yeah i am

8. Are you afraid of the dark?
not so much of the dark as what could be lurking in it. haha

10. Who can you always turn to?
God :)

11. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
probably like a year or few

12. Do you knock on wood?
if there's a wooden door that i have to knock on, then it looks like i have no choice do i?

13. Are you drinking anything right now?
nope

17. What do you want for Christmas?
a laptop

(question 18 was removed due to the fact that it was just too dumb)
good one.

19. Do you talk in your sleep?
i've been told i've done it before

21. Have you ever flown a kite?
yeah dude!

22. When was the last time you went swimming and where?
like a week ago in woodlake. the pool, not the lake.

24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell phone?
a lot. i'm popular. hah

25. Have you ever asked for a horse?
hahaha yeah but looking back on it i would have hated myself if we had ever even gotten one

26. Plans for tomorrow?
um. nothing until the SEND OFF!

27. What's your middle name? and why?
kathleen. it was my mom's mother's name and she died when my mom was 18 so its special to her

28. Missing someone right now?
no not really

29. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
idk

(unfortunately 31-33 were also too dumb to be listed)
cuz this survey is so high class.

34. What are you looking forward to?
CHRYSALIS!

35. Have you ever crawled through a window?
oh man. i have indeed

36. Have you ever eaten dog food?
not that i know of

38. Can you handle the truth?
yeah

39. have you ever eatin green eggs and ham?
no. i've had eggs. and i've had ham. but not green eggs and ham.

40. What are 3 things you always bring with you to places?
chapstick. cell phone. license/debit card

41. Any cool scars?
they're not all that entirely cool but the stories behind them can be kinda funny

42.Do you like or have a crush on anyone?
not really

45. How often do you talk on the phone?
not very often to be quite honest

46. Do you believe in love?
sure

47. Is there something you want but can't have?
thats a tough question

48. Four things about the preferred sex that you make note of?
Christian, funny, genuinely sweet, caring

49. Who are you thinking of right now?
nobody in particular

53. What was the last thing you ate?
uh. i think a reese's. cant remember havent really eaten a whole lot recently

54. Orange or blue?
no preference

55. Last movie you watched?
um. i watched the end of bring it on the other day. haha i know you're jealous.

56. What song are you currently listening to?
animals - nickelback

57. What do you want?
something to eat actually

58. Who was the last person you ate your favorite food with?
my favorite fooooood. uhhhh. i think that was at carrabba's with my fam and katie

59. last person you talked on the phone with?
my dad

60. Who was the last person(s) you hung out with?
shaun and jordan

~~~~~~~~~

1. Are you ready for 99 questions?
you better believe it

2. Do you watch college football?
no

3. Who will fill this survey after you?
nobody most likely

4. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
um kellio

5. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
last week sometime

6. Are you happy?
yeah dude!!!

7. Where is the last place you went shopping?
short pump

8. How do you feel about your hair?
well right now its not lookin so hott

9. Do you work?
yes i do

10. Last thing you ate/drank?
reese's. strawberry lemonade

11. Place you wish you were right now?
somewhere where its not crowded and its not rediculously hot/humid

12. Last time you went to the movies?
a couple weeks ago

13. Own any pets?
yeah

14. AIM or Yahoo?
aim

15. What classes are you taking now?
nossing.

16. How many hours on average do you work a week?
anywhere between 25-35

17. Who do you like right now??
nobody in particular

18. What were you scared of most as a child?
witches under my bed

19. Do you watch the Olympics?
yeah. summer moreso than winter

20. Last restaurant you went to?
um. well i work at cici's i was there last night

21. Who was the last person to call you?
katie

22. Whats your sign?
sagittarius

23. Do you have a favorite number?
8 and 12

24. Last time you did volunteer work or made any donations?
uh. lake j i guess?

25. What do you spend the majority of your money on?
gas  

26. Where does your family live?
with me

27. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
yeah dude i have a bro and a sis

28. Do you have a nickname?
that i do

29. Ever been called a brat?
jokingly

30. Got any guilty pleasures?
HAHA no

31. Do you drink beer?
never have

32. Do you scrapbook?
i used to

33. Did you ever collect Beanie Babies?
hahahahaha yeah dude i was obsessed with them

34. Ever bought anything online?
ebay mannn!

35. Myspace or Facebook?
still trying to figure out facebook really

36. Do you have T-Mobile?
nope

37. What is your favorite school subject?
history

38. Do you ever wish you could be someone else?
just for like a day

39. Do you usually fall for the sweet or mysterious?
mysterious prob

40. Were you an outcast in high school?
no not so much

41. Last time you saw your parents?
just now


42. Do you have any talents?
sure

43. Ever been in a wedding?
yeah

44. Do you have any children?
nope sure dont

45. Last movie you watched?
didnt this question already get asked?

46. Are you missing anyone at the moment?
nope.

47. Did you take a nap today?
no not really tired

48. What was your high school's mascot?
titans

49. Ever been on a cruise?
nope

50. Do you worry about global warming?
no not really

51. Do you think world peace is possible?
honestly, yeah. but thats because the world is filled with imperfect human beings. there will always be harsh feelings toward somebody

52. Do you have any wealthy friends?
yeah

53. Ever met anyone famous before?
yeah

54. Favorite actor?
samual l. jackson

55. Favorite actress?
sandra bullock

56. Are you multitasking right now?
yeah dude

57. Could you handle being in the military//airforce//navy?
no

58. Are you hungry or thisty?
kind of

59. Favorite fast food restaurant?
chickfila

60. Favorite kind of food?
mexican and fettucini alfredo :)

61. What is your average cell phone bill?
i have no idea i dont even look at it

62. Do you own a camera phone?
yeah

63. Do you believe in fate?
dont really give it that much thought actually

65. Can you speak any other languages?
not very well

66. Last time you went to the gym or worked out?
a week-ish ago

67. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
idk i only wear like 3 pairs of shoes

68. Do you have a photo hosting site that you use?
i have one but i havent been on it in years

69. Last place you were?
my parents bedroom

70. What is you college mascot?
no idea i'm not in college yet

71. Ever been to Las Vegas?
nope

72. Ever been out of the country?
no but i'm determined to one day

73. Where are you going on your next vacation?
who knows. vacations are very few and far between for my family

74. What is currently annoying you?
nothing in particular

75. What do you think is your best feature?
uh. i've been told its my eyes

76. Have you ever been gambling?
haha no

77. How old are your parents?
40s

78. When is the last time you updated your blog?
is this a blog?

79. Do you have your wisdom teeth?
yeah but they havent come in yet. so i guess thats actually a no.

80. Favorite place to be?
disneyworld

81. Have you been to New York City?
nope

82. Favorite sit down restaurant?
olive garden

83. Ever been to Disney World?
ah yeah i LOVE IT!!!

84. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
uh i have no idea

85. Last thing you cooked?
popcorn

86. How is the weather today?
sunny

87. Do you email?
i have it but i dont really send emails a lot

88. Last letter/piece of mail you received besides junk or a bill?
herff jones

89. Last person you kissed?
mmmm wouldnt you like to know?

90. First place you go when you walk in your favorite store?
to the right. not kidding. i always go to whatever's on the right.

91. Last voice mail you received?
mrs. p

92. Last show you watched.?
dr phil

93. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
um. i dont really do stupid stuff with it?

94. What is the best city in the state that you live in?
cities suck.

95. Favorite band?
nickelback. third day.

96. Last time you were sick?
a couple days ago

97. Are you bored right now?
i am

98. Last concert you went to?
um. i cant remember dont feel like thinking about it

99. What do you think about before you go to bed?
depends on the day

[one]. Spell your name without an A.
kthleen

[two]. Are you single?
technically yes. but me and paun are pretty much unofficially together. so accept that and move forward.

[three]. Whats your favorite number[s]?
8 and 12

[four]. Whats your favorite color[s]?
turquoise

[five]. Least favorite color?
uh probably

[six]. What are you listening to?
trainwreck - mat kearney

[seven]. Are you happy with your life right now?
for the most part

[eight]. What was/is your favorite subject in school?
theatre

[nine]. Do you shop at abercrombie?
yeah

[eleven]. Where do you wish you were right now?
at the abbey. on a chryalis weekend.

[twelve]. What should you be doing right now?
my mom just called me to go to her room so i should walk in there. but i havent gotten up yet. haha

[thirteen]. What are you thinking right now?
that i need to take a shower



THE CANS:

Can you blow a bubble?:
yeah

Can you touch your toes?:
its really sad if you cant

Can you wiggle your ears?:
if i think about it real hard

Can you roll your tongue?:
yepp

THE DID's:

Did you ever want to be a doctor?
nope
i'm glad thats only one did question under the category of "DID'S". i was anticipating more than one question thats all.

THE DO'S:

Do you believe in God?:
YES :)

Do you like roller coasters?:
no

Do you want to be a firefighter?
nope

When was the last time you bought a clothing item?
earlier today i bought a dress for a wedding

What was the last thing you drank:
water

What was the last thing you watched?
i cant remember


THE WHOS:

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
holly

Who was the last person to call you?
holly

Who was the last person to text you?
hm. lauren mayb?


CURRENTLY:

what color shirt are you wearing?
navy blue

what pants are you wearing?
green bermuda shorts

what shoes are you wearing?
i'm not

Have any tattoos?
nope

Straight hair or curly hair?:
today its straight

Happy?
for the most part

ODD & RANDOM

1. What color is your bra?
grey

2. Do you hate liars?
i hate the fact that they lie, but i dont hate them as a person

3. Do you prefer "sensitive boys" or "tough" guys?
i dont like for a guy to be more emotional than i am. but i'm also not into cocky guys. shaun's a good mix :)

4. Do you prefer blonde or dark haired guys?
usually dark. but physical appearance is a lot less of a priority once i get to know somebody

5.what kinda survey is this?
i had no idea there are genre's of surveys

6. What have you done in your past that you regret?
nothing. i know everything has happened in life to shape the person i am today

8. Do you have a guy best friend?
yeah i do

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
something in psychology

10. Have you ever kissed two people in one night?
nope

12. Who was the last person you hugged?
uh. lauren.

13. Did you ever have your heart broken?
no i havent

15. Have you ever wanted someone but you knew you couldn't?
yes

16. How are things between you and your parents?
pretty good i guess?

18. Do you like your life?
for the most part. how many times have you asked this question?

19.What is your favorite food?
fedducini alfredo

20.What is your favorite love movie?
the notebook and step up

21.What is your best physical feature?
i think i have a nice smile and when my hair cooperates, its pretty i too i guess.

22. Do you forgive or forget?
forgive

24. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
uh. prob girls but i hang out with guys

25. How long have you had myspace?
9th grade

27. Have you ever given anyone a back rub?
yeah

30. What is one of your biggest fears?
not hearing what God calls me to do

32. Has anyone close to you ever passed away?
not extremely close, but yes.

34. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
plenty of times

35. Do you believe in the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater?"
no. but i do believe in the saying "if he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you"

40. Have you ever had a good feeling about something and it turned out you were right?
haha yeah

43. Do you ever wish you were famous?
yes sometimes

44. Do you ever wish you were a boy?
nope

45. Do you ever hear a song that reminds you of an ex' and you think of all the good times you had?
yeah

47. Don't you think that guys should hug girls from behind when they are not paying attention?
yes i love that :)

48. Do you think that guys should listen to the things girls post?
depends on what they post. i dont think a relationship should be based on bulletins that a girl posts though. haha be spontaneous go with the flow. thats what i like :)

49. Do you like myspace?
i guess

50.Favorite sport?
volleyball and softball

i havent written in here in a long time

things are crazy lately.

prom was last month.
it was a lot of fun. my date was cool but we really dont talk much anymore.
actually i think i've talked to him maybe twice since the dance. so thats kinda lame. but whatev.

i feel like life is getting too serious and going by wayyy too fast.
i took SATs at the beginning of this month. that was kind of a slap in the face. i'm realizing that i'm 17 years old now and its time to decide what i want to do with the rest of my life.
the sad thing? i'm still not sure about what exactly that is yet.
i filled out information for my guidance counselor about myself for college recommendations. that was actually kinda hard. i dont really glorify myself a whole lot. haha sounds awkward but its true. i always look at ways to improve myself...physically, emotionally, spiritually...so that was kind of hard. but i think i did a pretty good job, i'm not gonna lie.
i doubt i'll be getting any kind of scholarships...but it would be really nice if i did.

work is getting kinda hardcore and i'm not diggin it.
friends are coming and going.
all in all, life is good. i just dont want to grow up.

and yet, i feel extremely selfish.
people live life in horrible conditions and yet they're thankful for everything they have,
and i'm complaining about freaking growing up.

okay well i'm done talking. byeeee.

3 days until chrysalis!!!

i'm pumpeddd!!!